Edge and Belle

Chapter 15 (Belle): No Sense

I was watching Edge carefully, waiting for him to make some misstep again. Honestly, the fastest and easiest way to win over children is with gifts or trips to places they've been begging to go to, but Edge wasn't taking that route. He wasn't trying for shortcuts, and I have to admit, that surprised me.

Instead, he was doing thoughtful things for us, allowing the children to help with his repairs, knowing he could have it done in half the time if he was working alone. But he showed remarkable patience with both Piper and West, answering their endless questions thoroughly and without a hint of irritation.

This is how a father should be. 

I absolutely hated that thought every time it popped into my head in the six weeks that followed the lawn mower repair. I stood back as I watched him laugh with the children and then turn more serious and carefully explain and instruct them on the repairs, step by step. He was good with them, extremely patient and kind -- and I had to work hard to remember that he'd called them baggage. 

My children seemed to have forgotten that they didn't like him anymore and they basked in his praise. I could tell how much they perked up when he was around, their little faces so intent on their work, and when Edge gave them a good job or that was exactly how it should be done, their little faces broke into wide smiles.

Tonight, they were fixing loose boards on the steps leading to the front porch. Edge had brought some pressure-treated two-by-fours he just happened to have lying around his garage, and he'd stopped by the home center for some stainless steel screws.

"With a self-drilling tip, Mom," West had pointed at the end of the screw, repeating what Edge had just told him. 

Piper was currently battling it out with one of the screws, and Edge was right there beside her, tapping the drill every once in a while to make sure it stayed straight. It took effort and concentration on her part with those little hands trying to keep the drill steady, but Piper eventually triumphed. 

 "You did it, Piper!" West said. 

Edge gave her an approving nod. "That wasn't easy, but you stuck with it. Good job."

If he truly thought of my children as baggage, then why had he been coming over several nights a week for the last month to work with them on repairs? Why had he chosen to become a coach for West's team? If you thought that the woman you'd been with was just a booty call with baggage, why go to all the trouble to make amends? He could have easily said good riddance or whew! that was a lucky escape, but he hadn't. He kept coming back at me, apologizing and trying to make amends. 

Given his looks and profession, I was under no illusions that Edge couldn't easily and quickly find a replacement for me. He had his choice of women -- women who didn't have baggage, who were free to do whatever they wanted whenever they wanted without having to take two little lives into consideration.

 Trying to reconcile his thoughtless words with his thoughtful actions gave me a headache because it didn't make sense. I couldn't reconcile the two. How did thirty seconds of nasty words compare to weeks and weeks of his time and energy? Who was the real Edge? Which of the men I'd encountered was he? His apologies to me for what he'd said had seemed sincere.

If I had stopped to think, I never would have said what I did, and the three of you would still be the most important people in my life.

I often thought of West's question to me after the pizza night debacle.

Do you think Edge feels bad he made you cry?

I was pretty positive he did, now more than ever. He was giving my children the most precious gifts you could give to anyone: Time and attention. Kindness. Patience. Genuine praise. He was giving me time to decide, too. He never pushed to stay after whatever repair project was finished, never asked for more than being able to help us. He didn't push me to go out with him, never tried any underhanded tricks with the children to get us all out together, like asking if they wanted to go out to eat or something like that.