How You Remind Me

2

"It's over?" my best friend of thirteen years asked. "Like really over?"

I was seated in the armchair across the living room in my parent's old house, it was still filled with boxes as I had little time to unpack everything. I had to literally make time to pack everything, of course careful to do it while Derek was at work....which these days was all the time.

"Yeah." I said as I chewed on the tip of my thumb, my legs were folded in front of me, Cristina and I were both in our pajamas. "Really over."

"What a waste." Cristina scoffed.

"Cristina!" I hissed. "I called you here for support, not reprimand."

"Well you're getting support." She said then smirked "Cristina style."

I rolled my eyes, it was true. Cristina didn't do anything soft and sugar coated. It was straight and to the point, sometimes brutal but always the truth.

"Seriously though," she shook her head "You make me squeeze my ass into that hideous pink dress at the wedding with the hugest bow on the ass and now you're getting divorced."

I laughed, the dress was hideous.

"It was fuchsia." I corrected her, still giggling "And at least we had ten years."

"Ten years is just a decade." She said, my laughter started to die "I thought you were in it for a lifetime."

"I was." I mumbled, took a swig of tequila out of the bottle in my lap and sighed "But things happen."

"Yeah, well one thing that won't happen again, is me being a bridesmaid in your wedding."

"I'm never getting married again." I said "So don't worry."

"Are you ok?" she asked in the most concerned voice of the evening.

"Yeah." I said, my calm voice even surprised myself "I'm actually feeling great."

Truth be told, I was. But only because I was numb. In the events of two years I'd rubbed myself so raw over the relationship that I'd created a callous, and I couldn't feel anything. It was life....or as my mother would always tell me. Life goes on, and tears are only ever wasted.

"Well is he?" she asked, I felt a small sting. But it was distant.

"He was fine." I shrugged, which made it better but worse at the same time "He seemed ok with it. And his lawyer served mine first, he's being more than fair and seems like he just wants to get it over with quickly."

"Damn." She muttered. "Is he seeing someone else? Because I could really use a reason to kick a pair of balls right now."

"No." I rolled my eyes "I really don't think so. Derek's never been the cheater kind."

"Then what is this really about?"

"I don't know Cristina." I shrugged "I just know that....we fell apart."

She turned her hard criticizing eyes to the couch and kept mum. I was grateful, at the moment I needed a friend, not a lecture. After a long silent minute she finally looked up and seemed more hopeful.

"Well are you going to come back to Seattle Grace?"

She was referring to the fact, one that she always greatly protested, the one where I moved to Mercy West a year and a half ago. At the time I was wanting a new field to play in, I wanted to hear about my husband's day first hand at the dinner table, I wanted the excuse of 'well we see each other at work' to go out the window and see him at home more. But that backfired, however, now it was convenient again.

"No." I shook my head "I think I fit in well at Mercy West, I have patients there."

"You're a fifth year general surgeon." Cristina remarked "What patients do you have other than the ones that come barreling into the ER. Ones might I add that are our leftovers."

"Patients get sent in to the closest hospital, you're the same trauma level as we are." I argued "And besides, I do get patients, some request me."

"Only because they like to stare at your ass."

I rolled my eyes "Well I do have a nice ass if I say so myself."

"Whore."

"Bitch."