How You Remind Me

25

"Ma?" I called out as I entered the home I spent my childhood in.

"Oh Derek!" she gasped as she entered the room from the kitchen and hugged me "Oh so good to see you. Where is Addison?"

"She's with Meredith." I frowned "They're not here yet?"

"Oh is Meredith coming too?" she asked innocently. My eyes narrowed into two tiny slits.

"You know damn well Meredith is coming." I scoffed "You made sure of it by your little phone call to the chief."

"Derek, don't talk to your mother that way." Mark interjected. Ma smiled affectionately at him.

"Mark honey, there's appetizers on the dining room table."

"Awesome." Mark grinned as he made his way out of the room.

"That was just a friendly conversation darling."

"Like hell-" I muttered, she cupped her hand over my mouth and scowled

"Watch your mouth young man.. there are children present."

I nodded "I'll take my luggage up to my old room then."

"Yes of course dear."

I sighed and grabbed my bags before making my way up the stairs. It was the one closest to the bathroom and the first door on the left from the landing. I pushed the wood door open and glanced around the room.

It was all the same. From the colors of the walls to the comforter on the full sized bed. It was a tacky blue plaid, I had a thing for blue. It probably had to do with growing up in a house full of girls. This was my spot in the whole entire house where I could be a boy.

I walked in and set my stuff down at the end of the bed as I heard another commotion downstairs. It sounded like the girls were home.

I wondered where Meredith would sleep. She used to sleep with me, but.. well not that obviously couldn't happen.

"Carolyn I-" I heard her say at the top of the stairs.

"Don't be ridiculous dear, you've stayed in the room for the last ten years, you can do it this year as well."

I didn't figure out what she meant by that until Meredith was behind ushered to the doorway. A look of discomfort on her face as we glanced at each other.

"Derek." Ma smiled "Your roommate has arrived."

Roommate!?

"Ma." I scoffed "You... I... she.... We can't be roommates."
"Nonsense."

"Not nonsense." I scoffed "We're not married anymore."

She rolled her eyes "That didn't stop you from sharing a bed before."

I saw Meredith blush and let out a sigh of defeat as I reached for my bag.

"I'll sleep on the couch." I said.

"No!" I heard in a small voice behind the women in front of me and looked to see my youngest niece Adelaide standing at Ma's hip, sucking on her thumb and staring up at me with big vulnerable eyes. "No uncle Derek."

"What sweetie?"

"You can't sleep on the couch." She said frailly "If you do that then Santa won't come."

I opened my mouth to argue but my voice stopped in my throat. How could I say anything against that to a four year old? I couldn't. I was a big wussy when it came to kids, especially little girls.

I heard Meredith stifle a giggle and my mother's face looked all too delighted.

"Well we can't have that now can we Adelaide?" Ma encouraged. She grinned at me and nodded at Meredith "I'll leave you two to unpack. Dinner will be done in fifteen minutes."

"I'm sorry about this." Meredith said as she stepped in "I didn't know she was going to force us into the same room."

"It's fine." I sighed "I should have known."

We shifted uncomfortably in the silence that fell between us for a few moments.

"I can steal a cot out of the attic or something, I can sleep on the floor." I suggested.

"No." Meredith shook her head "No it's fine.. I mean, we slept in the same bed for ten years Derek. I'm sure a few nights more won't hurt."

"I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

"I won't be uncomfortable." She said assuredly. "Will you be?"

"No." I shook my head "Not at all."

I wasn't uncomfortable. In fact I had been uncomfortable, I couldn't sleep without her. Even after nine months and then some of sleeping in a separate bed. Maybe a couple days would be ok, maybe I would get some rest for once.

"Well it doesn't bother me." She smiled.

"Me either."

We heard Ma call out that dinner was ready and both went for the door at the same time. We almost bumped into each other and backed up, I gestured for her to go first, she smiled and went out the door and down the stairs, me following her.

We sat down at the table as did everyone else.

"Thank you all for coming." Ma said as we dished up our plates "I'm so happy to have all my children back around my dinner table." I heard a snort come from a few chairs down but I didn't have to look to know who it was "Is something funny about that Nancy?"

"No." she mumbled "But technically Meredith isn't one of your children anymore."

I glanced across the table to see Meredith wince but pay attention to her plate.

"Nanc." I warned her.

"No, since we're all here we might as well hear it right?" she continued.

"Nancy." I warned again. "Stop it."

"Why did you leave our family Meredith. What was so bad about our brother that you would sever a sacred marriage over it? I'm not the only one here that would like to know."

"Nancy you're being rude." Ma said politely.

"Why because I'm honest.. because I'm asking questions no one else is asking."

"You're being a bitch is what you're being!" I snapped. I heard my sisters gasp and reach for their children's innocent ears.

"Derek!" Nancy hissed in shock. "Watch your mouth!"

"You watch yours and I'll watch mine!" I continued "You think just because Meredith and I aren't married anymore that you can let into her? She is a guest in this home and you will treat her as such! If you continue on like this I will use a vocabulary of explicit words just for the mere fact that you won't shut up otherwise!"

There was dead silence at the table. Nancy's mouth opened and then closed as she was at a loss for words.

"Are we going to have any more friendly dinner time discussions or are we going to eat?"

Everyone mumbled and turned to their plates. I let out a rugged sigh and glanced across the table to see Meredith staring at me in disbelief, in shock, and something else that I couldn't put my finger on. It was as if she were studying me, or trying to read something.

"What?" I asked softly.

"Nothing." She shrugged and went back to her plate.

I glanced up a minute later and saw a smile on her hidden lips.

I knew Nancy was being Nancy. And that usually I could take a little of her, what she called honesty. But when it came to Meredith, no, I wouldn't take it. Not even now.

Maybe not ever.