Colby x reader

What the fuck is wrong with me?

Tw:extreme sh,suicidel thoughts,suicide

Y/ns POV

I wake up and look at my phone. It's 2 am

*3 missed calls*

It's from my best freind I should call her back. I call her and she picks up.

"Hello" I say in a tired voice

"Hello y/n" I hear somone say

"Who is this?" I ask.Is this not my freinds number?

" It's Elizabeth's mother"

"Oh well Hello can I speak to Elizabeth?"

"Y/n honey Elizabeth overdosed last night"

"What" I say starting to tear up

"I'm so sorry honey" Her mom says back

" Oh well um... I will talk to you later" I say hanging up.

I drop my phone on the floor. She's gone and I couldn't help. If I was there that night I could have helped. She always seemed so happy. Fuck. Why does nothing every go right. I suddenly don't feel anything. I need to do somthing in her honor. I leave in my pjs with my wallet. I leave the apartment and go to a gas station.

"That bottle please" I say pointing at a big bottle of beer.

"ID please"

I show him my ID and purchase it. I open the bottle and drink it. I start to roam the streets taking more and more drinks of the beer. I find a abandoned buliding. I start to climb the stairs and I make it to the roof. I look at the city from ontop of the buliding. I take a big chug of the bottle and wipe my mouth. I sit on the edge of the building. I could just do it. I could just fall off.

"Dumb teenager falls off tall buliding that sounds like a perfect news paper title" I say to myself.

I stand up. I hear sirens. So many pepole being hurt this world is shitty. A tear falls down my face. The world doesn't Care about pepole like Elizabeth. They care about money. Selfish bastards. I get off the ledge and chug the rest of my beer. I smash the bottle in anger. I grab one of the glass pieces and cut my wrist. Deeper then I have before. God it feels nice. After that I start feeling things again. Well that was quick. I do more cuts on both of my arms. Blood spilling down my arms. I do some X's on my cheeks. I feel satisfied with that. I start crying but stop myself. Iv been outside for God knows how long. But it's starting to get bright again. I walk down the street with blood coming down my face and arms. I might die. I think iv lost my mind. What sane person does this. I look at the pepole looking at me not doing anything. It just shows how shitty pepole are. I wrap my arms with cotton pads and bandage. I don't really wanna bleed out. The sun keeps rising and it gets lighter and lighter out. I start walking home. I then see 3 pepole walking towards me. Oh fuck. I look down not wanting them to see me. Are they looking for me? I go closer to them.

"Y/n There you are" Sam says laughing.

I look up at them. They look at me blankly.

"What happned?" Colby says shocked.

I look at them. A tear streams down my face.

"She's gone" I say crying more.

I wipe my tears quickly. Colby wraps his arms around me. And grab him back. I look at Kat and she starts tearing up. Sam hugs her trying to reassure her I'm gonna be fine. But I don't even know if that's true. I close my eyes. Fuck I ruined another thing im a fucking burden. They probley all hate me. All I do is cause problems. Not even my own god damn family cared about me. Fuck man. I really am just a shitty person. I look back at Kat. God Im Making everyone cry. I let go of Colby and run over to Kat. She backs out of sams arms. I hold her face and wipe her tears eagerly.