Colatum's Eddsworld Smut Drabbles

Pink Popping Pearls (InCube Ovi Oneshot)

Blows a kiss at the sky, this one's for you, Ripley.

For context - Dashiel Cantor (patient) and Dr. Edmund Harvey work at InCube, an intergalactic surrogacy service. They carry all sorts of crazy creatures, and they're such a fun concept. Ripley and I used to be mutuals on tumblr before the pornmageddon, and she was genuinely so awesome :"3 just been thinking about her ocs a LOT.

(I know this isn't eddsworld, but since I'm too lazy to make a new smut book, you're all just gonna have to deal with me)

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Accidents were a part of the job at this point. With a friend like Dash, Harvey had practically sold his soul for buckets of vomit and slugs, sometimes both. At the same time.

Dash's latest work involved a particularly interesting species - he had to ingest a single, small egg, barely bigger than the tip of his tweezers - it couldn't handle the capsule format, as research showed that this species was too delicate for the procedure. The lone egg would swell to the size of a fist, freeloading for a week before dividing into hundreds, packing every inch of available space, and immediately be ready to exit. There were no dietary restrictions, no slurries to drink, Dash was practically on cloud nine for a week. Their only requirement was water, so...easy enough. It was supposed to be an easy birth and an even easier shipment back to their homeworld. For the paycheck, that was great, but for Dash's rapidly filled stomach, esophagus, and lungs? Not so great.

Luckily, Harvey caught them before they suffocated the poor idiot and helped him safely birth them, but the slime they left behind in his lungs had him coughing something fierce. His entire chest was rattling, sore from the effort, and he was filling tissue after tissue with vibrant pink goop. Harvey opted to keep him close and medicate as he saw fit, or at least until Dash left the facility on his own.

"Haaarrvvveeyyyy...." Dash croaked out the most pitiful little whine, his throat raw. The doctor in question perked up from his desk, swiveling back to face his ailing friend. "When can I take the next round of pills?"

"Hm, let's see, bud." Harvey murmured, pulling back his coat to check his watch. "It's been five minutes since you took your last round, so...I'd say..." He hummed, looking up at Dash. "And this is an educated guess, but six hours."

Dash groaned, the noise quickly cut short by another violent, irritated cough. Harvey could hear his lungs whistling from across the room, barely overshadowed by his pulse-ox machine. When the coughing finally subsided, his body went slack, relieved as he took his first rattling breaths. "How 'bout a cough drop then?"

Harvey nodded, digging through his coat pocket as he awkwardly rose to his feet. He had an assortment in there, so he was playing Russian roulette on what flavour Dash would get the honour to complain about next.

"Flavour of the day is..." Harvey paused as he continued to walk, squinting to read the label. "...Mixed berry." Dash sat up on his elbows to accept the offering, failing to notice the slime that began to dribble from his nose. "Dash, tissue."

The smuggler softly apologized, pulling another tissue from his nearly empty box. He blew his nose like a trumpet as Harv stood at his bedside, waiting patiently to fork over the lozenge.

"I don't know how there's still so much in me." Dash murmured, extending his arm past Harvey to drop the tissue in the bin.

"Considering you had forty-five pounds of it, I'd just be thankful that amount isn't left."

"You have a point," Dash laughed dryly, clearing his throat. "I don' think I wanna do these again, though."

"Definitely, they expanded far past what the papers said. I just h-" There wasn't a second for Harvey to prepare, he couldn't even shield his face as Dash practically exploded with a sneeze, showering his friend with an appalling mix of pink mist and bigger, rosy globs. One of which, to Harvey's joy, landed right on his lower lip, with his mouth open. Immediately, Dash was wheezing in pain from the effort, short, rattling breaths punctuated with groans. "Thanks for that." Harvey muttered, taking the handkerchief from his pocket to hurriedly wipe over his face. "Did your mom never teach you to cover your mouth?"