Peashooter x Reader (Plants vs Zombies Franchise)

Greetings, Neighborville!

It was a cold summer morning, you've since embarked on your long train ride to Neighborville, a friendlily-named township situated in the northern United States. You've decided to move there after finally graduating out of a secondary education program.

You didn't know much about Neighborville. But what you did know was that it only had a population just over 3 000, and the land value was cheap. Not cheapest in the country, though. That trophy belongs to Detroit.

Lost in a daydream, recounting all that you actually knew about the town, an old person, perceived to be aged 75-85, has been trying to get your attention for about a paragraph-length amount of time. "That Neighbourville is all about eating!" "That Neighborville is all about Groaning!" the old-timer would spit phrases like that until you either told them to hush up, or until it was your time to get off the train.

Either of which, there it was: land on the cheap, Neighborville.

Looking around just outside of the station, a semi-overgrown town center would greet you. The town fountain, with a weathered statue of the town's founder, seemed to be out of operation for a long time; the basin of the fountain had more well-wished coins than it did water. Come to think of it just now, but you have not seen anyone in town besides yourself yet. It was a Sunday after all, most people would be in Church.

Hauling your carry-ons, what little you brung from your last place, you made your way to the listed location where your new home would be.

Upon turning the corner, you can see the two mover people haul box after box into the house. You couldn't help but notice the distressed stucco lining the front facade, even the few terracotta-coloured shingles seeming to be missing here and there on the roof, even the mailbox couldn't keep itself shut. Glancing at it from the other side would reveal stenciled paint reading "DAVE" in all capitals. Just as you go to turn around, an old letter would flutter outonto the floor, wax emblem and all. It looked official. 

You went to open it; but seeing that it was not addressed with your name on it, you decide that it was best to just hold on to it and see if the old owners would come back for it, if it was anything important. It's rude to go looking through other people's mail, after all.

And just like that, the movers left. They didn't even stop to talk to you, despite that they should know what you look like. Looking at them leave, they would take the sharpest right-hand turn you ever see a small truck pull off, while going 20mph over the speed limit. You decide that it's best to sort through your things either than standing like a turkey on the side of the road.

---

It would take the whole day for you to unpack everything. Working tirelessly made you moan, groan and the like, both during the unpacking and hauling yourself to your bedroom, while still fully clothed. Seeing that your cellphone would need to charge for night, given that it's battery is completely depleted, you subconsciously pull out, opening the letter from before out from your pocket.

You didn't mean to open it, but now if they do come back for it, you would have to give it to them opened. It's best to read it now to see if they would concern themselves with it.

The note reads as so:

---

" Dear Resident Dave "Crazy" Human,
As of 06/30/2022 the township of Neighborville has passed a new law.
It will be strictly prohibited to be using your brain past 7/04/2022 at 12:00p.m.
We urge residents of Neighborville to visit the town hall at their earliest convenience toget their brain removed.

Unfortunately, you will not be able to keep your brain. It will be confiscated by the police department of Neighborville. Subsequently, you can contact your brain
manufacturer for a refund if you have warranty on your brain.
The township of Neighborville thanks your compliance with the new law. "

---

The typography, read in Times New Roman, makes the note seem more authentic. Truly it just has to be some sort of juvenile prank one of the town kids would have pulled on the old man. The realtor did say the previous owner was a widow.
As you lie horizontally at a 180 degree angle on your bed flat, the sheer force of you hitting the bed made the hatch for the attic to slip loose. This causes the ladder to fall down onto the bed, nearly missing your head.

Scared straight, you no longer feel any sort of sleepiness. Wide awake at 12:00 a.m., you decide to venture into the attic. You never seen it in the photographs of the house, so it only made sense to check it out now before you forget all about it. As you climb up the shaky ladder, you now find yourself in an unlit attic. the only thing that the bedroom light hits is a small letter format paper, ruffled up and slightly yellowed. You pick it up only to notice that it was another letter, left by the former owner for you.

Reading material is reading material, so you began to read once again:

---

" Hello new person!

If you are reading this, there's a good chance that I am dead; brain eaten from top to top. My brain doesn't have a bottom, because I'm CRAZY!

Oh, yeah. I'm Crazy Dave, but you can call me Crazy Dave, because that's what my friends call me.

You see, Neighborville has been in an isolated zombie apocalypse for the better part of 11 years.

I can only keep these zombies from spreading across the entire continent, and maybe even world, for so long. One guy can't just fight for so long! So, when I inevitably do pass, I decided to leave this here with my predictions for the future:

- Libraries no longer exist

- Teacups are made of metals now

- My brain gets eaten

If any of these are right, reach out to me in the afterlife!
Also, the way that I fight off these zombies are through plants. It's crazy, because I'm CRAZY, but zombies hate the things. You'd swear they're vegetarians or something given how fast they go to eat them. Also hurling fist-sized peas at thin-skinned green people makes them tumble over. 

It'll make more sense when you check the shed out back.

Don't be startled if the plants look at you weird. They're just shy.

Anyways, I hope you're a gardener or something. If not, the basics are soil, water, and sun. lots of sun.
Happy planting!
- the late (and CRAZY!) Dave "

---

What. A. Read. You couldn't fathom what you just read; zombies? plants? brains being eaten?

You were taken completely aback. All of this has been happening here, and no news on it? completely isolated?

No way that this was true. Like the man said: he's crazy. there is absolutely no shot anything like this was real.

Completely hysterical after reading what you just read, you almost fall instantly asleep in your daytime clothes, right then and there in your attic.