Peashooter x Reader (Plants vs Zombies Franchise)

Zombie Funeral

You now have a small funerary party lined up, going into your house, mainly for your brains, and less for vengeance. You can already hear the zombies downstairs, bumping into walls and furniture, trying to make their way upstairs. Instead of fleeing to the roof, you figure that you're able to pick them off, one by one, given that they're all stumbling in different places.

You unhang a metal clothing hanger from your wardrobe, sliding the t-shirt off, throwing it onto the bed. You slam open the door, faced directly with the widow zombie. They turn towards you, but unable to do much more given you've already bapped them across the face. Their head almost flies right off, like there wasn't much holding it in place.

You hastily travel downstairs. Family Guy audibly played from down the hall. A zombie peeks from the powder room doorway, their shoulder wet from the tears of the widow you just killed. That arm falls right off while they speed walk towards you. Without hesitation, you wimpily kick them in the side of their left calf, then slam the coat hanger on the top of their head, while they're on their knees.

You practically speed to the living room, whereas that plant guy had already taken down the last funeral attendee. All that was left was the priest, who was holding a small zombie action figure pointed towards the other guy like a crucifix. The priest couldn't see you from where you were, which gave you enough time to run behind them and tackle their back. The priest, and every other zombie in the house, was unmoving.

You quickly turn towards the plant man, who is near the back door. You ready yourself for whatever to happen next, expecting some sort of an attack.

"Thank it all that you're still alive," the plant man said surprisingly unhesitantly, "I thought for sure that if I left you alone for so long you wouldn't make it for when I got back."

You are quite confused as to why this guy is so concerned for you, especially after he knocked you out the other night. You inquire him on this.

"Ah, right, you see, I kinda have to work for you."

This obviously takes you a little by surprise.

"It's kind of a whole thing. You see, I kind of depend on you, you kind of depend on me. I mean this in the sense that, without you, I can't be watered and excetera, and without me, you'd just be another zombie for me to deal with."

You still had so many questions, but you couldn't seem to fully understand one thing: what the actual hell was going on?

"Well, zombies are everywhere, and you're kinda appointed to be the one to deal with this sorta thing."

He gives you kind of a weird stare.

"It was in the realtor documents and stuff, y'know. So, you may have read some things about zombie defence around the house, given that Dave leaves notes on some pretty important things, namely the one in the shed. I've been sleeping there, by the by, given that I kinda don't fit in a pot anymore." He hesitates a slight bit, looking down at himself. "Well, really you just gotta distract Zomboss, their leader guy, into targeting you until we find some sort of way to rid of the guy. Then and only then we'll be able to reasonably contact anyone outside. It'd create global unrest, you see."

He continued like that didn't raise any questions from you.

"Actually, it's been bothering me for two days now, but what exactly did you feed me when you dumped that pot over me? Whatever it was, it made me grow into whatever this is."

You remember that somewhat vividly, a whole pail of old bone meal and a small vial of mercury. You tell him that.

"Oh, that's what Dave used for mutating seeds and stuff. Whole story, the man's more smarter than he lets on. He is a nutcase, but he can do quite a job on things. Here, I can show you all about the gardening process, what I remember from when Dave brought me in to watch stuff. I don't know if he just had a preference towards me, or he just kept me on him as extra defence for when he's busy with something else."

He grabs you by the hand, and begins pulling you along outside to the backyard.

"Now, here. Take this sunflower seed. You wanna plant these near the house. They don't fight off zombies, but they do something much more important than that."

The two of you would crouch down together. He'd do that thing that, when someone's teaching you how to do something, they'd move your hands in the way that it's supposed to be done. He did that for the small amount of digging, the small amount of planting, and when you would cover over the seed with soil.

"And, there. We'd just have to wait for it to grow now."

You don't know what it was, but you had this almost euphoric feeling when he was softly gripping your hands, and motioning them in different ways. Also how he was leaning right on top of you, bare chest touching your back, his breath of fresh air being casted upon the side of your head, really everything from that. The two of you go to stand back up, and you go to face him, slack-eyed.

"Euh, you've got something under your nose." He said, which is not what you were expecting at all.

You go to rub the top of your lip, following suit to what he just said to you. You go to look at your finger to see if something was there, and lone behold it was blood.

"Have you scratched the inside of your nose too hard? Looks like blood to me. You've got blood, right?"

You didn't answer his question. You quickly rub off all of the nosebleed by any means necessary.

"Regardless, that should be fully grown by tomorrow. It's still morning after all. So, I'll show you the seeds, as well as where all the tools are. Follow me."