Peashooter x Reader (Plants vs Zombies Franchise)

Yardwork

While still half awake, you fumble your hands frantically trying to find which side of the bed you put your alarm clock.  The alarm buzzing would then finally stop ending with a loud crashing sound. Rubbing your eyes trying to recuperate as much vision as you can before getting out of bed, brushing your teeth, combing your hair, the like. 

You make your way down to the kitchen, mustering up whatever you can for breakfast. By the time you open the fridge, a plastic jar of mayonnaise slips loose and thuds you right on the head, knocking you into a sense of awareness. Remembering you finally don't have any classes to attend in the morning, you realize that you can spend the morning however you want, like finding a job, or watching tv, going to the library,  or watching tv, maybe go finish some legal documents at the town hall, or watch tv...

Well, it was decided. You're going to binge watch shows on the tv today.

As you go to watch Family Guy in your living room, you remember everything from yesterday before bed; the note, the plants, the zombies, or whatever else was in that godforsaken note. Well, you have been busy all day yesterday to check out the yard, with the pool, so really you could make good use of this epiphany. 

Opening the glass sliding door, the blinding sunlight and the cool freshness of the morning make themselves very apparent. When your eyes can adjust to the sunlight, you spot the pool shed almost immediately. Out front were a few old ceramic plant pots, all empty, except for one. You couldn't make out what plant that was, but it felt like it was watching you. 

After almost slipping into the empty pool about a baker's dozen amount of times,  you can finally get a good look at what was staring at you. A short but stout petal-less plant, with a gaping orifice out front, black pea eyes positioned almost-prey like. 

It does not say anything, it does not make any noises. It's just planted there.

It's a bit unsettling, not the plant itself, not how it looks, but more or less in the sense that something in the note was actually real, either than the guy's name, or how he was crazy. Really seeing this plant makes it very apparent that other things in the note were real. What if the zombies were really real? What kind of mess did you put yourself in? Searching for answers, you open the pool shed in a cold sweat. 

Happily, no other plants, no zombies. Just normal shed things, like a water pump, a lawn mower, a roof cleaning device, a few rakes, some extra ceramic pots, a lawn mower, big pail of bone meal, an old tricycle, a lawnmower,  A huge box filled with vials of mercury, one of those small gardening shovels, a lawnmower, a pair of gardening gloves, and, well, another lawnmower. But this one had another note taped onto it.

Hopefully this has some sort of tip or trick that Dave guy left behind:

"Zombies don't like lawnmowers, makes their head pop off or something.

Groceries:
- Milk
- Eggs
- Pea Vine Seeds
- Bone Meal
- Mercury (Metal)
- Mercury (Planet)
- Painkillers"

The back of the note had a 2009 expired coupon for a place called "Zomburger" on main street. 

Wait- but having mercury on a shopping list seems a bit skeptic, and what's with all of that mercury anyways? And what's it doing next to all of that bone meal? Maybe it's best to just throw that out. The bone meal seems to be dusting up the place too, and like it'll come in use to fight of zombies, if they do exist.

Upon leaving the shed, Mercury in one had, and bone meal in the other, you take a misstep a slight bit to your side, tripping over the empty pot, this mixes the mercury and the bonemeal together inside the oversized pail. In a slight bit annoyance, you slosh it back to the side with the pots, unaware you just fed it to the small marble-eyed plant to your side.

You storm off, completely aloof to the accelerated mutation the plant is going through.