Tales of Vivian Gilbert

Chapter 7

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August 16th 1853

Looking back to when I first started this journal or diary, I had no idea who would end up reading this. I didn't think my life would be this eventful either, but here I am today or for you whoever is reading this out there in the world that's how my life was. I'm 2 months pregnant with the baby of someone I don't really love. All because I made a foolish mistake and slept with the man who was the one my sister was going to marry, and the brother to my first love.

I still hadn't talked to anyone and it had been 2 months since the incident. no one had noticed I was pregnant except for Mrs. Dickinson and Jane, whom I had told about. Over time I started to hate her less and less maybe because she was the only one I considered my friend. Emily had also begun to talk to me more and she had become a bit overprotective of me. I honestly don't know why she had but she just had which I'm not complaining about at all.

ever since Mrs. Dickinson found out about my pregnancy she had been stocked and almost revealed it to the entire town. but before she was able to Emily stopped her. The pregnancy had been one of the best things to happen to Mrs. Dickinson, being a grandma has always been a dream to her so I was at least happy I could fulfill that for her. so I've been spending a lot of time to know her since she was going to become my mother-in-law soon.

so right now I was sitting by the fireplace drinking tea with Jane discussing the fact that she just got engaged to William Wilkinson. it was odd for people that all of a sudden we had become friends, but I think it's because of the shared hatred for Sue.

"your ring is so pretty, William has good taste." I complimented looking at her ring with a big smile. "oh thank you, ill tell him you said that." she replied before continuing, " I do have to say I love your ring too, the ruby is amazing." I fiddled with the ring on my finger while looking at her with a smile before thanking her. "I'm so excited for the baby to arrive, I can't wait," Jane exclaimed accidentally. "I wouldn't say the same, but I guess it would be nice to finally settle down," I replied with a sad smile.

our conversation was interrupted by Sue and Emily entering the family room laughing. Jane and I looked at each other with a shared annoyed look. "so what you girls talking about" Sue questioned. " just you know weddings and stuff.." I said blandly to my sister which made her roll her eyes at us.

Emily awkwardly looked around the room trying not to awkwardly make eye contact with anyone."I should probably get going now," Jane exclaimed quietly before she got up and took her coat, and left the Dickinson residence. I sighed out of frustration and put my hand in my hair.

"Are you okay over there Vivi?" my sister asked concerned. this question did not help with my frustration whatsoever. how could I be okay when my life has completely fallen apart in just a few months.

"no Sue, I'm not okay how could I be if you were me you would understand what I'm going through, but luckily for you, you're not! so don't ask me if I'm okay because your the reason I'm not okay!" I yelled out, I didn't want to be mad at my sister, I wanted us to be as close as we used to but I knew that wouldn't happen anytime soon. 

"Okay, I was just wondering, um I think I'll go now." with that she awkwardly left the room in a rush, which left me and Emily alone in the family room, " you didn't have to be that Harriss with her you know" the brunette paused before continuing with what she was going to say. "but I get where you're coming from and I get that you're annoyed by this, but you can't lash out on your sister like that vee vee." 

" why not she deserved it?" I questioned while crossing my hands over my chest, which made Emilly laugh a little. "yeah,  but she's your sister, and when no one is there and you've got no one left your sister is always going to be there for you." she exclaimed which honestly made me feel terrible about how I treated sue. "oh well, now I feel bad for what I said. but honestly, why do you care so much about my relationship with Sue?" I asked her which was full of confusion which made her sigh and take a deep breath in.

"Well because I love you vee vee, I always have. And I don't think I'll ever stop so to see you that hurt and have no one by your side hurts" Emily exclaimed with light tears streaming down her face. I was shocked how could she say something like that out of the blue she almost had me but I knew better, she would never love me when she had sue.

"No, don't say that, don't say that like you mean it." The brunette was confused now and looked at me stunned. "You don't get to call me that or say that you love me. Because you don't, you never did, and you will never love me like, Evelyn loves Celia or how Charlie loves Nick, you'll definitely not love me as much as Lavinia loves me, and you won't love me like you love Ben or like you love sue..."

I paused before continuing. " so don't sit there and say it like you mean it because I could've had you change a long time ago, but you didn't. you listened to what your stupid father said and left me like I meant nothing to you. so I don't want to sit and listen to you go on about how you love me, but you know nothing about me or how my life has been." with that I left the room leaving Emily to sit by herself.

omg this chapter took way longer to finish then it needed to I kept getting stuck on what to say next but here it finally is people. sorry for not updating I've had major writer's block and my drama teacher did not make it any better by forcing us to write stupid texts for no reason at all.