A Journey I'll Always Remember (Kili x Reader)

I Can't Do This

Their weapons were ready, they were ready. But I was not. Fear is rising up my body and my stomach is in knot. I know I wanted to fight, and I still do, but I'm terrified. Anyone of us could die today. Me, Bilbo, Fili, Kili, anyone that I love. The company is out to break down the wall and run out to war but I'm reconsidering. My heart is beating a thousand times faster than normal, hundreds of emotions were rushing through me and a sick feeling rose up my throat.

"(Y/N)." Kili said as he could see how unsure and pale I had gone. I stood up with a foot between us.
"Kili."
"How are you feeling?" I paused before answering.
"Sick." My mouth twitched. "We all feel like that, But your gonna be okay, we are gonna be okay."
"But what if we aren't?" That question has been stuck in my mind for days. Kili didn't respond, he closed the gap between us and our faces were inches away from each other. "I just have a feeling." Kili's eyebrows drew together, I knew he wasn't entirely sure if what he said was true and neither do I.

"Is everyone ready?" Thorin called. "Aye!" The company called at once. I gulped and my hand trembled. I stepped back shaking my head. "No. No, I can't do this. I'm sorry." I said whilst everyone turned to look at me.
"Yes you can, (Y/N). You are capable to go out there and fight," Kili said whilst holding my hands "Just think. When this is all over we will can go wherever we like, it can be here, the Shire, Rivendell anywhere! And we will do it together and stay by each other's side. Please, do this for us, for Bilbo, for me, for yourself. Now, will you join the company and fight? Or will you hide and do nothing?"

I looked at Kili, to the company and back to Kili. Many times I have told myself that I can't do this, that im too scared and Kili has helped me and calmed me down every single time. Every time he has held me in his arms and told me 'I can do this' and he has always told me that he loves me no matter what. I want to be with him for the rest of my life, I want to go new places with him and see new things. So if I have to go out there and fight to do so, then I will.

"Okay," I sniffled "I'll do it." Kili smiled down at me and kissed my forehead whilst pulling me toward him. I pulled away from him and gripped my sword. "Alright, let's do this."

If I die today then I will die knowing I tired and gave it my all. I've travelled across middle earth and finally experienced the life I dreamed off, so I will fight for this mountain until the death. I long to be back in the own comforts of my home but these dwarves don't have one, it was snatched from under their feet. So i'll do it...for them. My family.

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HEYYY!
I know this is a small chapter but I just wanted to add a small one before they go out to war.
I'm sad that the battle of the five armies will soon be over and the quest to reclaim Erebor will be over but I will add my own chapters so the story won't have to end. 😭
I hope you enjoy the rest of the stories and you have been enjoying it up until now.
Thank you all so much for reading.
BYEEE!