Saudade

Chapter 7: Heels

pov of DIANA

warning: violence ahead

The next morning I woke up. Allen was passed out as usual. I got ready for work. Today I chose to wear red, my favourite colour.

I wore red tube top and black high waist trouser with my red heels. I wore silver hoop as well. I love this outfit it makes my boobs look bigger.

I had some breakfast and then left for work.

In the lift lobby, I was waiting for the lift alone. Both the lifts were already going up so I had to wait for one of them to return. I was waiting when I felt someone's presence behind me.

Tall. Lean frame. Citrus.

My boss.

He was wearing a blue suit today. He was standing behind me. We made eye contact and we nodded at each other. And just on cue, a lift arrived. We both shared the lift.

It was very awkward if you will ask me. Finally, he cleared his throat, adjusted his tie, and asked "How was your first day?"

I narrowed my eyes at him. Why is he asking me this? We both hate each other, right? Is he trying to ask this to get me fired? Is he testing me? Is he making fun of me because I tripped yesterday? Oh yeah, he is making fun of me because I tripped yesterday.

He wants to know how my day was I will tell him from the start, in detail with lots of sunshine.

"It was perfect. I woke up yesterday and got to work in my car. You know the one that scarred yours. I met you in the lift radiating sunshine as always. Then I worked. I met Addy after work. Then I went home when the sunshine got dim and saw the television" I continued " Then I slept. Anything else you want to know, sir?" I smirked knowing well that I irritated him. 

As soon as I completed my speech the lift door opened.

"'It was perfect' was enough" he grunted and got out while raking his hand in his hair. I smiled to myself.

He walked to his cabin and I went to my desk. Mrs. Bose has already mailed me the schedule and the work to be done this week. I have to accompany the asshole at 5 for a meeting that will be over by 7. I sighed and started my work. 

At 5 I went to the meeting room. So many people were already there including the asshole. I ignored him. And turned my face and I saw John, the game guy, in there too.

He smiled at me in confusion. He was probably wondering why I am here. I smiled back and we made small talk about how come we both are here. The asshole stared at us.

The meeting was over by 7. 

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I returned home by 8 because of traffic. I went to my apartment anticipating that Allen would be passed out like yesterday. 

Creak. This damn door. 

But today I had a good feeling that he would not be at home. I smiled. Just as I stepped inside, there he was standing and eyeing me.

He was directly in front only a foot separating us. My smile faltered and I unconsciously reached for my bag to grab the pepper spray.

I grabbed the pepper spray too tightly in my left hand like it is oxygen and I am dying to breathe. He quickly stepped closer and grabbed my arm which had pepper spray, twisted it, and pinned me to the front door with my back to him.

I sprayed the pepper spray in all directions expecting it to reach its target. He shoved the pepper spray from me and threw it on the couch while its projectile broke a lamp on its way.

"Pepper spray, huh? Do you think you can hurt me with it? And who do you think you wearing this dress for? The red heels." He trailed his fingers on my collarbones to my arms and stopped at my hands. My breath hitched," this top with your neck and arms uncovered. Do you think I am a fool? Do you think you will have an affair with someone and I will not know that?" He whispered near my ear. 

He left my arm and I sighed with relief. And suddenly he grabbed my hair and took me towards the table in the kitchen and made me sit. He eyed me up and down. 

"Remove your heels and give them to me," he said calmly.

"What?" I asked my heart pacing

"REMOVE. YOUR. HEELS. AND. GIVE. THEM. TO. ME." he yells and slams his palms on the table. I flinched.

I removed my heels and gave them to him.

"Let's play a game," he said, smirking.

"G- game?" I swallowed.

"Yeah to find out if you are cheating or not. It really is simple. You will place your hand on the table and I will slam this heel on the table. If you get hurt it means you are cheating and if not- we both know that's not gonna happen." he said evenly like he is talking normally about day-to-day activities. No regret. No remorse. Nothing. 

"N- no...... you- Allen you......are dr-drunk" I stuttered and he pulled my left hand and placed it on the table. I removed it. He again shove it on the table roughly this time. I removed it again and stood up this time. He yanked me back to my seat. 

" I am telling you for the last time to keep your hand on the table or I will slam these heels on your face." I gulped and placed them believing that he would actually do it. I started crying. He started slamming.

Once. The heel doesn't collide.

Twice.

Thrice.

Ten times the heel didn't hit me and then boom it smashed into my middle finger. I shrieked. He winced and let me go. I ran to my bedroom and locked the door. 

I immediately called my mother to tell her I couldn't take it anymore. It is the first time this month.

I know what her answer would be to try and stay with him. And god knows that I try. I try so hard that I have lost myself. 

The only time I feel like myself is when I am bickering with the asshole. I hate him but he makes me feel things like ya I know he can also shove the pepper spray away from my hand given that he is so big but he always steps bac- 

Wow, I didn't even know that I feel like this.

She picked up my call. Before she could say anything I told her everything.

"Please..... please I can't take it, mother. Please don't make me live with him," I said at last.

"Diana, you chose him. I was not even supporting you with the decision but you know that no one in our family had ever got a divorce and I don't want you to be the first one."

I was so angry at her. At Allen. At myself for choosing him. I hung up. 

I will not cry. I will not cry. I kept chanting it while bandaging my finger. I keep chanting positive things whenever things go south.

 My finger was red and swollen with a cut that will bruise in no time.