Ace of Spades

The Morning After (Part 1 of 2)

Soft, warm, smooth.

For the third time in Risa's life, she awoke to the same feeling. The first one in Hong Kong, the second one after the night they shared at the hotel, and then this. She awoke to the softness of the naked body that laid beside her, the warmth of the other person's breath on the back of her neck, and the smoothness of their skins gliding against each other.

Risa dared open her eyes and the light from outside the window. It hurt. Like she'd been crying for hours without end.

Oh no.

She looked over at her side and there was Leni. Arms wrapped around her waist, breathing calmly and steadily. She looked so peaceful sleeping beside her. Waking up next to the other woman, naked or not, were memories Risa kept in this little box in her heart. Something she'll forever treasure and hold close to her because it's the only time, the only opportunity that she has perhaps in this whole lifetime, to look at her in the silence of the world, and not care about anything else.

Her heart ached at the sight of the lover she lost. Or better put, the lover she had at one point and had no choice but to lose. A strand of hair fell on Leni's face and Risa brushed it away, tucking it behind her ear. Ang ganda ganda mo, mahal ko.

Waking up after a panic attack was always something she dreaded. It was awful — throat scratchy, eyes swollen and bloodshot, head pounding, and you had only the vaguest clue about why you had one.

But waking up beside the woman you love after one of the worst nights of your life, Risa thought she'd never been this happy since after the elections.

And she knows how fucked up that is.

"I'm so sorry for putting you through that," Risa whispered, caressing Leni's cheek softly. She was careful not to wake her up. Wanting to prolong this quiet moment where she has her within arms reach. Where she doesn't seem too far from her, or too guarded for her. If Risa were to choose which moment she'd want to relive for the rest of her life, this would be it.

In the arms of her ex-wife — the love of her life — their limbs tangled while the rest of the world was locked out.

Risa pressed her forehead against Leni's, hands still on the latter's face. Their breathing matched as if only one heart was pumping blood through both their veins. Risa inhaled, shutting her eyes tight and reveling in that sensation.

You make me feel, Leni.

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Soft, warm, smooth.

Leni stirred beside her, eyes opening slowly. She was welcomed by the sight of Risa so close to her. Their noses brushing, eyelashes fluttering against each other's, eyes shut. Yet her face conveyed so much affection that Leni felt her heart swell in her chest.

"Hi," she whispered, moving her warm palm from the small of Risa's back higher to soothe her back.

A soft smile appeared on Risa's face. "Hi."

"Giniginaw ka pa ba?"

Risa shook her head. "Okay na ako."

"Sure ka? Baka gusto mo i-off ko muna 'yung fan."

"Okay na ako. Nandito ka eh."

Leni shifted her position, then pressed her lips on Risa's forehead, her arms wrapping around her shoulder to pull her into a hug.

"Pinakaba mo ako. Akala ko mawawala ka na sa'kin."

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Time passed with them just laying next to each other. They were only pulled out of that moment when Risa's stomach rumbled.