oh, to be a little fat girl...

Realization

After another horrible day with her boyfriend, Casey walks home, sad and weak with hunger. She remembers vividly everything Henry said to her, crying silently and tearlessly to herself. She was only 105 pounds, but Henry wasn't a fan of it.

He judged her publicly and constantly, saying things like it looked like she gained weight or that she was on the edge of losing him. Casey was growing used to it, unfortunately.

She went up to her room and sobbed into her pillow, trying to cry out her sadness. She hated how she looked, but she knew it was just because she looked anorexic. Was it really though? Yes. It was.

Whatever. She went downstairs and ate a leftover piece of grilled chicken. It was small and she was still very hungry, but her parents and siblings would be home with something tempting any minute now, so she went back upstairs and locked herself in her room to avoid it. She flopped down on her bed and found herself angry at Henry. Since she couldn't find out why, she tried to think about it more without spiralling into self-hate.

When she found the center of the anger, it all made sense to her. It was because Henry himself was quite overweight for what he did at school. Somehow, he was the number 1 jock and weighed in at 245. He was only 5' 10" and could legitimately get Casey to a healthy weight at least if they split his flab. Casey thought that was ridiculous, absolutely insane. It would have been better if his fat at least looked good on him, but it absolutely didn't. Most of the weight was around his waist and gut, but the rest was sparsely distributed around the rest of his body and the result was almost unbelievable. You had to see him to believe anyone's description of him.

His best friend, however, was the most attractive guy in the world to Casey. He was bigger- taller and fatter- than Henry, his weight was distributed much more attractively, and he was actually nice to her, encouraging her to eat more than what Henry allowed and complimenting her all the time. Ben seemed a much better choice now compared to Henry, but she didn't know how to get out of the relationship without losing every single friend she had because of Henry's popularity. She was smiling thinking about Ben, so she started thinking about ways to break off the relationship with Henry in the best way possible.

Then she remembered that fall break was just two weeks away and Henry would leave for his parents' vacation house. He always cheated on her when he did that, and she expected that he would break up with her after finding a 'hotter' girl.

Just then, she realized that her parents were home and they were talking about something with her siblings. She waited a little while and her dad knocked on her door.

"Hey Casey, we were talking about our plans a cruise over fall break, do you want to come?"

"No, I'll stay here, thanks."

"Alright, just offering."

"Of course."

"Do you want some dinner?"

"I don't know, save some for me though, I might be down in a minute."

"Alright."

Casey's dad smiled and closed the door behind himself.

Casey sat down in her bed and wondered why she said to save some in case she came down to have it. When she thought about it, she started thinking about why she wanted a fat partner but didn't want the same for herself.

Why not?

Because of Henry?

It's not like he cares about his weight. Why should I care about mine?

It's probably because I want to be popular, and he's the most popular guy in school.

Unfortunately.

She started thinking again about how Ben might want her. He always encouraged her to eat, but that may just be because he wanted to see her healthy.

But he always watches the fat girls at school...

No, it's nothing. Although, she was so hungry she felt sick. If she was going to break it off with Henry over break, she couldn't gain too much weight. She had to make him believe it was entirely his decision so she wouldn't lose friends.

She did go downstairs and eat the dinner the rest of her family was eating, and she didn't feel hungry for the first time in a couple years afterwards.

Casey dreamed up her plan for making Ben fall in love with her at school the next day. She watched him more carefully now and found out for real that he loved fatties. He always looked at Nora, a 230 pound girl, when she walked across the cafeteria, and Casey could swear she saw him blush.

So I need to get fat too,

That was only her first order of business. Since she knew she liked not being hungry, she thought she might like being full, too. Her full plan went as follows:

The second the news came in that both her family and Henry had left, she needed to gain as much weight as quietly as possible. Then, she needed to find where Ben worked and try to draw his attention there. Once she did that, if Ben liked her, everything would fall into place from there.

When she finished scheming after school, she went downstairs to see what her parents and siblings were having for dinner. That night it was Takeout Tuesday and they had gotten Chinese food.

"Hey Casey! You want some of this stuff?" her dad said cheerfully.

"Yeah, actually! I'll get a plate and fork and be over there."

She filled her famished body to the brim with the delicious food, eating until she couldn't take another bite. It wasn't too much, but she went up to her room immediately after eating and enjoyed the feeling of being full until she could think about what it meant for her.

Once she started thinking, she became elated. Now that she knew she wanted to be fat as well, she could indulge during fall break and not feel guilty about it. Unfortunately, she still had a week and a half of waiting and being around her insufferable fat boyfriend before she could make her first move.