Chipped Heartz & Broken Smilez

Homosexual Reformation (1)

'For the days you feel low.'

The note was signed by 'Olivia Golde'. I opened the neatly wrapped package to reveal a wooden chest with a tiny lock keeping it shut. It wouldn't take much force to break the lock open, but there was a key taped to the lid, so I used that instead.

With a flick of my finger, the lid swung back and clanged on the counter. For someone who had cut me off, Olivia wasn't doing all that great at staying away from me. If I weren't being watched by the morality patrol and worried about ruining her reputation, I would visit her and feed Teddy some crackers.

Two rows of ten hemp cigarettes rested in velvet beds. I took up one and studied it. It felt denser than the one I had smoked with Olivia, as if there was something more than dry flowers inside. I squeezed, and something hard resisted the pressure applied by my finger.

The edge of one of the cylinders had risen to reveal a greyish cylinder underneath. Once I peeled off the sticker, I unveiled a naked tape recorder. Curious about what devioucities Olivia was up to, I hit the play button.

"Hey. I have never recorded one of these, so I'm unsure how to go about it. Should I say my name even though you already know it?" She took a deep breath, and I smiled. Her voice tickled my ears as she said, "So, my name is Olivia, Olivia Golde. I wanted you to know that what Jason told me about his music video was nothing like the final product. He made it seem like it was about a girl going on a journey and getting to know herself better.

"If I had known he would ruin your reputation like that, I would have told you to quit. All I wanted was to help you earn some money to become a doctor, but now everyone hates you."

"Not everyone," I whispered.

She continued, "I was going through some of my belongings and found some pictures of us in the military and remembered my first impression of you. Back then, you were strong-willed, unafraid of the powers that tried to hurt you. You spoke up when you thought we were being mistreated. I remembered watching you break slowly over time and wondering if there was anything I could do to stop it."

"If you aren't okay, come see me. We might get in trouble, but I don't care anymore. I don't want you to self-destruct like you usually do. Let me comfort you."

There was a pause, a cluttering of dishes. I sat on the ground, leaned against the wall and waited for Olivia's voice to return.

She started to sing softly,

'I used to wonder why, why I could never be happy,

I got everything I wanted, so why do I feel so crappy

My mother used to say, 'If you find someone you love, keep them close.'

But I let you go, and now it hurts to see that you're better off without me.'

Then in her usual voice, Olivia said, "God, you must think I sound mad."

"Only a little bit," I told her.

Olivia continued, "A few weeks ago, I found a little camera in my shower, and with so many people coming in and out of my apartment. I—" The device beeped twice, then said, "Memory card full."

I picked up another cigarette. Olivia started speaking again, "So I've been trying to find out who planted the camera.... I contacted you-know-who. She asked about you, why you haven't reached out to her and if anything is going on between us. I told her there wasn't.

"Anyhow, she offered to help me. She followed her instinct and focused on two suspects; one of them was Jason. About two months ago, he bought a camera, the same model I had found in my shower. When I confronted him, he denied it a first, but when I told him about his recent purchases, he turned pale and started to get flustered.