Ambivalently Yours

Three Days Later

"It's been three days. Should I call or text him?" you ask Liz as you lay on your back with your head hanging off of her mattress.

She gives you a look mid-swipe as she paints her fingernails at her desk. "No. He said he wanted time, give him time."

"As lame as it sounds, I don't know what to do with myself now that we're..."

She's back to her nails, concentrating hard since she's using her non-dominant hand. "I know the wound is still fresh, but just because you aren't saying that you broke up out loud, that doesn't make it not true."

The night after you'd returned early from Kildare Island with Rafe, he had shown up at your apartment to tell you he wanted to take a break. Wanting to respect his wishes and give him space, you'd agreed, and somehow managed to save the tears until after he left.

"We're on a break. We didn't break up," you clarify.

"What's the difference?" she asks.

You absentmindedly touch the engraved necklace he'd given you just a couple weeks prior, sliding the coin charm back and forth on the delicate chain. "He didn't use those words," you answer after a beat.

She caps her nail polish and looks at you again. "Babe," she says gently. "Sometimes you have to call a spade a spade."

"I'm not in a place where I can admit that's what this is," you say. You sigh heavily. "Am I stupid to hold out hope that this is just a bump in the road?"

"No, of course not. Not until you've had the talk."

"That's what I'm afraid of. The talk. That crushing moment of realization that we aren't on the same page anymore, and that it's over." You feel your eyes well up and you take a deep breath to keep the sob building in your chest at bay. "I can't just let him go."

"So you fight for him," she says definitively.

"You just said not to contact him," you say, sitting up so you can look at her properly.

"Let him reach out first, then dig in and fight for him," she explains. "I know you love him, and I expect you to try to hang on, but is it worth it to do so if he doesn't show that he wants to be fought for?"

"Who even are you right now?" you scoff.

She checks her nails. "Someone who now has dry nails and needs to get ready for Jonathan's party. Which, may I remind you, you agreed to attend with me."

You roll your eyes. "Yeah, before I was heartbroken."

"You're going. You need to get out of this apartment. You haven't gone anywhere since you got back from the Outer Banks the other day."

"That was on purpose."

It's her turn to roll her eyes. "I get it. I really do, but you need to be around other people. Let yourself get distracted for a few hours. Do something besides mope at home for the night. It'll be good for you."

"I'll try, I guess," you concede. "For a little bit. A drink or two probably won't hurt."

"That's the spirit," she says with a smile. "Go get ready. We need to leave in an hour."

~

Rafe wasn't even sure what day it was at this point. He'd been doing what he said he needed to do—think. He thought about his dad and the lack of respect in their relationship, his future as the eventual owner of the Cameron family business, the idea of building his own career without the influence of his father or the connections to his name, and most importantly, you.