BONUS CHAPTER V
Chapter 44.5
"Golden boy,"
Elliot's heart skips a beat, spotting the blond in the doorway. He hasn't expected to see him there, and then seeing him there, it is nothing short of a sweet surprise. Everything around him falls away and the only thing he can focus on was is golden boy. He is here, he is waiting for him.
He wants to approach his boyfriend — hold him, kis– Elliot stops his train of thought abruptly when he notices the frown on the boy's face; he hates seeing his golden boy being anything but happy. He wonders what causes the frown on his face, and that is when he feels someone tug his arm, and in a flash he remember — Stanley.
Seeing Josh, he has forgotten everything that took place before — nothing else matters when it comes to his golden boy.
But... there is Stanley. And it is like someone has suddenly splashed cold water on his face, everything that happened before flooding his mind once again.
No, he doesn't hold any sort of feelings towards Stanley anymore, but that doesn't matter as long as Elliot still held on to his past. Stanley is his past, Elliot should let him go, let everything go and focus on moving on, but how can he when he still had his hands tightly bound to the immovable rock that is his past.
He looks at Josh and wishes with everything he has that he'd understand, he'd wait for him, Please, Elliot begs silently, hoping that he'd hear him.
Elliot turns to face Stanley, the boy who once erupted a thousand butterflies in his stomach, but now... now, he just makes him exhausted.
"I can't keep doing this, Stanley," he sighs weakly, "I need you to let me go,"
"I'm not the only one who has to let go," Stanley glances over Elliot's shoulder for a few moments before looking back at the boy before him, "Does he know?"
Elliot runs a hand through his curly-hair exasperated and hangs his head low, knowing where this conversation is heading and curses under his breath.
"That does not concern you," he says, his eyes flashing in warning.
"You love him, don't you?"
Elliot doesn't say anything, setting his lips in a grim line and continues glaring at him — he has long realised that he loved his golden boy, but he doesn't have to tell him that. He doesn't want the first person he told that to be anyone except his golden boy.
Stanley lets out a bitter scoff, "Don't be a hypocrite, Eli — you have to tell him. It wouldn't be fair to him,"
"I know what I'm doing,"
"Do you?" letting out an audible breath, he continues, "Look I'm happy for you, I really am. And I'm definitely sorry for... everything that happened. I.... just–" he takes in another deep breath before continuing, "You know when I first saw you today, there was something different about you — I couldn't figure out what it was, but I get it now," he gestures behind him, "I shouldn't have asked you to come home Eli. You are home. Just don't fuck it up,"
And with that he gets into his car and leaves. Elliot stands frozen in place for a moment, gathering his thoughts. He knows Stanley is right — he is being unfair, selfish. He doesn't want to have to hide anything from his golden boy, he loves him. But still he can't help but give in to his irrational thought — what if he left him.
What would stop him from leaving?
After all, Elliot would leave himself if he could. He groans inwardly, this is why he never wanted to approach the golden boy in the first place, but fate had different plans for them and look where that has led them. It still isn't late, Elliot tries to tell himself. He still can tell Josh everything, and deep down he knows his golden boy won't leave him.
But somehow there is this little nagging, annoying part of him that keeps holding him back, keeps telling him that he would leave.
Elliot knows it is time to decide — be stuck in the past, or let go and move on. Seems like an easy choice, but still why is it hard to make a decision and stick to it.
The dark-haired boy turns around half-expecting his golden boy to be gone already, but there he is. But would he always be there?
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the boy on the bridge ✔️
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