y/n has disappeared.
off charts and communication channels.
maps didnt remember traces that one made
last active session on wattsapp was over month ago.
ed tried to keep the situation under control. his british discipline in maintaining politeness in moments that seek to shake the foundations of normalcy, came to limelight as the greatest personality trait he can always count on in times of distress.
those that came to ask in fake worry trying to so obviously fish for dirt to sell around, he tried politely laugh it off with a joke. those that didnt fall for it, had to be told off with crude reprimendation for bothering them with insinuations and attention that will have police coming on their doorsteps if they don't bugger off. some people had to be told how silly they are before offering them some cookies served with latest politics news.
those that really care were rare so they were sent away conviced he had it all sorted out as usual since two were known to be thick as thieves. friends know how to have you back and clean the mess in your absence without raising hells.
ed wasnt kind of man who could easily be worried. Jumping to conclusion wasnt in style in their meadow. first two weeks he wasnt bothered. he knew his friend. it wasnt unknown of her to go on one of adventures, always coming home alive with story to tell. Always chasing, that one, chasing remnants of freedom world has left to offer. there was no place for concern. thats what parents do. suffocate life out of life they brought to earth, because their fears were never treated and diagnosed and properly medicated. we get hurt. we live in fear of things we havent experinced. we go through life with fear of meeting them and not being prepared. so we stay locked in bedrooms and lock children in their heads because that's where we hope they will stay safe. how messed up it all is! come back when and if you want to, for fuck sake! you dont own anyone diary entry of your movements and plans.
but underneath nonchalance pouring whiskey to everyone who came around, and chuckles adorned in maroon sweaters, he was coming up with puzzle as days passed and no calls were received and texts stayed on delivered. where the hell are you you little rat?
daniel kept coming back with consipracy theories and maps and notes full of ideas scribbled underlined circled deep set ink revealing his distress. even y/n would find entertaining these for there were whole plots in them.
His royal blue eyes looking at Ed as he stood over spread material on dining table where they sat in golden light, like lorenzo in him has taken over. Nothing he can't turn over and find a way for resolution.
Ed's nonchalance bothered him.
'How can you be so calm?' He asked incredulously, lahey puppy boy expression written in naive confusion.
'Y/n is fine. Trust me. Have you heard about this new resolution, i just read about it in Guardian...'
After one month, he decided on little trip as filming wrapped up and nicer days came by.
Romania proved to be resistant to calendar. it welcomed him with chilly hesitant to spell out summer hug that had him taking coat out of his briefcase on train platform. cold bit at his skin. he cursed himself for forgetting his moisturizing cream.
ed finds her roaming carpatian forests looking for witches mentioned in some documentary on national geographic. it didnt take him long to figure out
"i couldnt take it anymore. i had to leave, ed. somewhere no one expects and demands anything from me. i couldnt bloody take it anymore! always other people knowing me better than i know myself because they older but for fucks sake ed no one has walked in my skin not a single step of the way! how could they make me so irrelevant in my own life?! how could they? gosh i hate them all there is so much anger in me i think i might kill someone if they found me anyone other than you. promise me dearest fried, to look away as i descend into madness. i cannot bear to look at your sadness when we both know i am too far gone to be saved."
"i wont call the cops. i dont think anyone would even find you here"
"and yet you did. " suddenly y/n gets sad. "if you are here", sadness descends into furious crescendo, "to take me back and tell me all will be fine, i will run away again. you will have to lock the doors and bolt the windows to keep me in that world of gossip and rumors and persuading and judging that doesnt stop once you pick up the fight. circle is vicious it only ever ends if you break the chains and turn into ghost. words will remember. but they will get sick of same old ones coming around. they will find new target to skin alive. how you dont see it? we all go mad. but its rare we are allowed to go down on our own terms."
"you are not electra, love." patience in his words went hand in hand with stillness of forest. he stood above her ,sneakers skimming dead leaves like he doesnt want to hurt what might be alive underneath. "and natgeo."
"there is no way to even go mad in your own terms, ed. they label you, fill you with drugs, put themselves again above you, proclaiming you are are unfit to take care of your own existance. it is shit and we all know it. people are just adddicted to exercising control over another living thing. oh look who came to say hello" squirrel came up from pile of leaves and sniffed at ed's jeans, then looked around and climbed up in trees.
he bows down to kiss her head "ay dont let them get to you, love."
"I knew you would have that one figured out"
"only map you could have run to."
ed takes out atlas of cursed places, red bounded book made into series they religiously watched every sunday with cookies and hot cocoa.
"did you find them?" he said going over pages filled on margines with notes they added after watching each episode.
"no. they arent real, ed." he looked at her shocked. teasing smirk playing on corners of his lips. "pray tell." she laughed despite herself, and offered him cookie from somewhere deep within pocket of her coat.
sun was gilding mountains in afternoon calm. they made their way down into town, where some shops kept fairy lights but also strange little flags and dolls and words and plant remedies in displays on window frames and doors, strange figures and rhymes carved in planks and street signs. they remembered what they learnt about folklore and beings that roam at night or in plain sight. suddenly they felt cold underneath sweaters, so they pulled up their lapels and quickened their step, ed holding his hand on small of her back guiding them somewhere more lively. "not creepy at all" he murmured pushing her forward. it felt almost as if someone was trailing after them. or perhaps it was only mist following them around, erasing traces from the map, dots from atlas, words from margins.
Rest of day was spent looking around, glued to each other, he never let her go, his presence when he holds her as she pushed her head into his coat, made all the troubles seem locked underneath frozen lake that cannot be broken while friend's warmth keeps her safe, its like a paradox in practice. as long as warmth is near, bad things will stay cold and dead.
Not much mattered in this gloomy mysterious weather. They could be anyone, burdens were loosed when carried by two. Ed knew he cannot take all y/n's worries even if it hurts him to bones to see her battle so many monsters on her own, he knew that best a friend can do, is be their home when they need a rest and help with new strategies how to exile bastards in your head.
They were having dinner in one of fancy cozy little restaurant as night settled on cobblestones and delicate street lamps began their dance with shadows and gold. when ed's phone started ringing. He gave confused look to y/n, since caller has more to do with hers than with his narrative. Moment later he remembered her phone is probably long dead. She will never grow up. But then again, who has it ever helped?
It was george daniels telling him he knows y/n was with him, and that he should bring her to poland because matty is freaking out.
A/N: next imaigne is connect to this one.
