A/N: this can be read as one shot standalone, but it's written as part2 to previous Kit imagine 1, so I suggest reading them in that order for wholesome experience.
Friend from seven seas away and seven summers ago visited to return my pin and remind me why our love will never die
He came one day in january or was it december
I dont know. I dont count my mistakes anymore
He came with cold bite northern clutch
He came to wish me merry christmas
But we both knew he was carrying velvet box that became part of his every pocket
He still looks for me in crowds and next to him when lonliness hits, he upturned entire garden and smashed all mirrors in home that is more sanctuary than paradise, but still he hasnt found origin nor end of his anger carved in plaster of fustration peeling layers funny how once it finds soil you can never get to the bottom of it despite being the host. You feed your insanity because it keeps you from losing it all together, madness is not product; its perpetuer that gave name to reaction of defying to succumb to ilogic in matrix, bear the name of enemy trick to outcast the unwanted in system more easily. Am i being too harsh? Who would love me with mindset that sees fire under snow, enemies in parents, friends in taken, home in forest, liberation in thunder, imagination as only religion that can deliver, rhymes as confessions of unspoken sacred poem why you cant see vials are not only way to bleed the person and leave a heart dry cooled off skeletonial construction a churred hull nothing can grow from no one to call it a home. I am exiled from my own heart. ( i listened to others too much and wrote not enough lock picks to get me out of prison my mind fortified around who i am. who are we? Slimy grey liquer they pick apart under microscope or etheral reflection of stars? I have to be more than this materalisation of doomed for failure)
He had big fireplace. We used to sit there on thick plush carpet pondering over meaning of it all. Him drinking, me watching his throat move with every gulp, high on sadness. Mind you, i didnt know david yet, nor his metaphorical perfection eclipsed my every romance thought. Kit was everything i wasnt, yet my stream of conscious always met his; i watched him with adoration that comes when you are exposed to art for the first time. I went to museums before, but I was never allowed this close.
Sometimes we would be joined by other fallen fellows. And we would drink for all the lovers who will never return affection for pain of loving them in silence. No one ever cared for my heart enough to show me love can be burden divided. Meeting them, showed me happy endings live on screen and in pages that dont spill in reality that is same losing sanity game for most people. Only reason there wasnt shortage of bandages, was because we were all liars, inheriteted strategies, hiding the wound smilling while bleeding, sooner die than let someoe see. But he saw me.
My best friend alex was dead for some time when my first friend came to our northern town. It was seventeenth day of christmas, harbour cafe bars were adorned in fairy lights, carols were mixing with generic mandatory christmas pop songs down the street, cinamon and clover drifting from patiseries on corners, ships and gullys christms trees wraped at bottom with blanket of frozen sea that will keep them stuck here in this fairytale wilderness till spring awakens with yawn that will run cracks along sleeping hardened earth and everybody will throw away their coats elsewhere in the world but not here, here cold lives with us, in cracks on pavement and drinks served with mittens.
He wonders if thats all thats left of me, if i took it little to literelly, to settle in place and make it home, lose yourself so they like you or go where they are like you.
I never told him about alex. He heard i moved on replaced our love with new friends, and i still dont know if i broke his heart when he told me to move on and i didnt fight for him to stay, he told me to be happy to find another crowd and i let him go like he didnt teach me meaning of patient love.
