Vir Fortis vs Malificus

The First Affliction

I was not looking forward to today. And that was because Ossei was coming over to visit.

But I told myself I needed to be a hero, just like Chaser. If I couldn't go out there and save people, take part in important debates, or convert folks from bad to good, the least I could do (or, in my case, the most) was to act nice to Ossei and offer to help him. Even if he did go on and on about how this other kid named Reese was so great and amazing, he was his favorite orphan child, he wanted to adopt him and replace me with him...Okay, he didn't say the last part, but actions spoke louder than words, and I wasn't a fool; he cared about that other Reese more than me.

I walked around outside in the backyard. It was ten in the morning and quite a beautiful day. It was cool and windy, and the sun was only occasionally covered with fast-moving grayish-whitish clouds. The sky above was a pale blue.

I recalled how my last quality time with Chaser had been very dear to me. The times spent with me were very rare, but I valued them deeply. Sometimes I tried to watch him and learn how to be an even better hero, but sometimes, all that was thrown aside in the face of fun and happiness.

The only negative thing was this:

It was funny, Chaser and I going for a walk, two people doing the same thing. Yet for Chaser it was a casual walk, nothing more than a simple stroll. But for me, I was struggling not to freak out with my phobia. It was interesting, we were doing the exact same activity but with so different feelings. I was enduring a hardship, trying to overcome and conquer an oppressive fear, like I was going on a difficult, dangerous mission, but Chaser was treating it as if it were nothing, an everyday event. My greatest struggles were equal to his nonchalant enjoyment.

This was not to say I resented Chaser by any means. It made me think of how unfair life was, and mostly made me angry at myself for being so pathetic. Isn't Chaser the normal one in this situation? I was the one who was a freak, a coward. And I couldn't even brand myself as "special" or "different." All I was, was just inferior, pitiful, and weaker. Sometimes I found myself longing to tell him about my day, but I knew it paled in significance. I could tell him I saw a funky-looking car outside the window, I could tell him I found a praying mantis in the backyard, or I could tell him what I overread in a book. But it would be absurd, because he could tell me about how he saved a city, rescued an entire species of endangered animal, or reunited old lovers separated from each other. Everything I did blurred in comparison to his deeds. My best was equal to his worst.

A car engine drove up our street, slowing wheels crunching fallen leaves collected on the curb. I felt a bit of dread, but mostly annoyance. I am so looking forward to me having to listen all day about how great people are in comparison to me, I thought sarcastically. Ossei was a people-person and always loved to tell me about that oh-so great Reese, and in turn, make me feel inferior to his admirable skills or rich kindness.

My first glimpse of Ossei was of him coming to the gate. He spotted me and waved enthusiastically. He opened the gate to come through, obviously suppressing a large grin.

Fighting the urge to roll my eyes, I waited until he had approached me, doing my best to maintain a polite face and gesture. I can tell you're just bursting to tell me about your week.

"Hi," Ossei said, his voice coming out as controlled and dignified to pretend he wasn't bursting at the seams. "How was your week?"