it is september 23rd of 2015. on june 26th this year, gay marriage had become legal. i already had a boyfriend before it was legal, we've been together since only june of 2014 his parents were okay with it, mine not so much, so i stayed at his house the majority of my time.
our relationship started out great. we were already good friends since middle school, he was the only person i ever told about my sexuality in the 8th grade. i thought he wouldn't like me anymore, but he didn't care. that's when i realized he was my best friend, because everyone else did care. freshman year, tank had girlfriends and played football, that didn't stop him from hanging out with me every single day after practice or his games. it started out that he'd show up at my house unexpectedly, until he did it everyday and i always knew he was coming.
september 12th, 2013
a knock at my bedroom window, it was 11pm, a little after tank's game had ended. my face lit up, running to the window to let him inside. he smiled towards me. he was so sweaty that his hair was wet and his face was red. letting him in, an odor of men's locker room and dirty socks hit me. i tried playing it off. "how'd it go?" i asked him.
"we won, close game though, fucking mccarthy tried to fight me on the field." he told me.
"do you want a water or anything?"
"that'd be great thanks." he said.
as always i told him to stay in my room while i went downstairs. if my parents knew he was there they would kill me. while in the kitchen, i grabbed him an icepack along with his water.
"what's the icepack for?" tank asked as i entered back to my room.
"i thought it would come in handy."
he laughed, as i tossed his water and icepack toward him.
he sat on the edge of my bed, looking down trying to breathe. i sat with him.
"are you okay?" i asked.
"yeah why?" he said looking up.
"well i know you're tired from the game and stuff, i just feel like something else is on your mind?"
he nodded, looking down again.
"what is it?" i asked again.
"kate, she broke up with me right after the game tonight."
i sat quiet trying to think.
"what for?" i finally said.
"she said i was too talkative with other girls at school. i cant have friends now? i don't get it." he said, "she says i dont hang out with her enough."
i sat listening.
"she told me that you and i hang out too much. that i never have time for her." he continued.
"sorry." i spoke, "do you not like that?"
he took a while to respond, "i don't care."
"what do you mean?"
"i mean, yeah me and you hang out. i don't see a big deal out of it. it's not like i'm hanging out with girls, i'm not cheating on her, so what's her deal?" he gestured his hands as he spoke.
i crossed my feet, looking down, not knowing how to feel about any of it.
"do you think we hang out too much?" he asked me, looking at me again.
i looked too, shocked at the question that i had no idea how to answer. i looked so stupid trying to come up with words, my mouth moving as if i lost my voice. "i don't know? do you?"
