An approaching winter, the sky no longer a blue but appears a snow white. I could say what our food supply is like, but in simpler terms we're practically starving. We walk days looking for a place to stay, a new home, there is nowhere. Even if we were to find a house to stay, I would feel bad because I would think, "This used to be someone's home." A place where memories were built among a lost family, holidays that were celebrated while the family gathered, children so happy just to see their cousins and kin. I know since times are different I shouldn't feel any empathy about that, I can't help it.
While on our journey, I've noticed different splits of communication amongst the four of us. Nikolai, caught up in his own head most days, he's not looking for a home, he's looking for his home. Richtofen keeps to himself as always, not the type of guy to talk about his feelings, but even he is starting to look exhausted. Takeo, a true warrior looking for peace, he has the most faith of us all, even if we all know he should just give it up. He tells us that being negative would never help us through this, I think he's being kind. I don't know how I really feel, I know I'm not alone no matter what I'm going through because I can always bet money these guys are going through worse. I just need a distraction, I'm tired of being in my head always.
"What do you think they're chattin' about?" I spoke while walking near Takeo as he had his head down.
He shrugs, but then smiles toward me, nudging me playfully, "I was waiting for you to say something." He says.
I laugh, confused, "We haven't been talking this whole time?"
He shakes his head continuing to laugh at me, "Not at all, this whole time I thought you were sleep walking."
I look away, hiding my far-too-big smile, "Okay then.." I cleared my throat, looking to him again, "What did you wanna talk about?"
Takeo drags his feet across the railroad tracks, still looking down with a slight grin, thinking of what to say I assumed, "I miss you." He says quietly.
I laugh once again, shocked, not understanding what he meant, "Miss me?"
"You know I get bored by the others.."
"And not by me?"
"How could I?"
"Why didn't you say anything?" I asked him.
He takes a second, "I didn't want you to think I cared too much."
I didn't laugh this time because his tone had shifted, yet I was still confused, "I don't understand. Why would i think that?"
"You're observant."
"So what? What does that have to do with what you said?"
"I didn't wanna come off as vulnerable because of how much I do care for you." He told me, glancing up.
I started walking slower trying to process. I called out to Richtofen and Nik saying, "hey we're gonna stop for a little, we'll catch back up!" And I turned to Takeo telling him, "I want you to care Tak, I don't know where this is coming from."
He looks down embarrassed, "I know. I don't know."
"Did something happen with the others?" I asked.
"No i just wanted you to know." He sighs.
"Okay, that's okay." I say, hugging him gently in the middle of the tracks, "you don't need to worry about that Tak, I'm here always."
I reach for Takeo's hand after our hug, continuing to balance along the railroad tracks.
