I Can't Do This

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Perrie

I opened my eyes slowly and blinked a few times to adjust to the sunlight pouring in our room. When I turned my head Her face was right there.

I was laying on my back, and she was curled into my side. So close to me. Her face was right in the crook of my neck, her soft breaths were tickling it. She had one of her legs hooked over mine, and her hand resting lightly on my stomach.

I sighed. This is what I've missed. This feels good. I moved a little, which made her stir, but not a lot. Her leg moved a little too, and she rubbed a few light circles on my stomach before she fell right back to sleep.

It made me smile, but my smile soon faded when my stomach turned. Great. All I wanted was to lay there and enjoy being so close to her again, but I had to quickly slip out of her embrace and roll out of bed.

When she felt me move, her eyes opened immediately and she lifted her head to look at me. I pointed to my mouth and then ran for the bathroom.

Gotta love morning sickness, ruining a good cuddle session.

I started off just dry heaving, which I hate almost as much as throwing up. Then everything came up. The bathroom door opened, and she walked right over to me.

I personally think that throwing up is not something I want someone else to see me do. I get embarrassed, but this is different. I'm sick because I'm pregnant with her baby, so it actually makes me feel a little bit better when I see her. It makes me feel supported. She's really good at that.

And she's so gentle.

She softly combed her fingers through my hair to pull it out of the way, and then lightly rubbed soothing circles all over my back. I had no idea how she could even stomach to be this close to me while I was basically exorcist vomiting, but I was glad she could. It made me feel a lot better.

When I started to whine and groan at how gross I felt, she softly shushed me and patted me on the back like a baby.

"Shh. Shh. It's okay. You're doing great. Get it all out. Good job, beautiful." She said softly, and once again, her words turned me into mush. She's so good at this. When I was finished and felt like there was nothing left in me, she pulled me up into a hug and reached around to flush the toilet. "Good job. I know it's nasty. I'm sorry."

I nearly melted in her arms. I wanted to cry. Before this, I've had to do this on my own every time, and it was hard. It was frustrating and exhausting not having her here to comfort me like this.

She walked me over to the sink and turned on the water to help me rinse my mouth out. She didn't have to, but she even cupped her hand under the running water for me, so I didn't have to.

I leaned down and started to swish the water around in my mouth while she continued to rub my back, and it felt amazing.

After I spit it out, I looked at us in the mirror. She reached for my toothbrush and squeezed some toothpaste on it, meanwhile I was stuck staring.

I'm so glad she's back home. I can't do anything without her. She makes life for me 100% easier in every way.

She handed me my toothbrush and then reached for hers, and we stood side by side, brushing our teeth together.

"Thank you." I mumbled around my toothbrush, looking at her through the mirror.

She just smiled and continued to brush, making me smile too.

Like I said, she's so good at this. At parenting. And being a wife. And taking care of me while I give her another child to parent.

When we finished, she grabbed two clean white towels from the shelf. She hung one over her shoulder and wet the other one with cool water. Then she turned to me, softly hooked her finger under my chin to lift my face, and started to wipe it with the towel.

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