𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞

18

dylan hayes

I sit on the floor in my shower, letting the water curl around me like a warm hug and without even realising it my mind drifts off to think about Elliot, something that's been happening a lot lately. In the middle of my thoughts it suddenly hits me that I like Elliot, in more than a friend way. More than a best friend way.

Panic washes over me at the realisation. When did that happen? When did me liking him as a friend turn into something else? Why haven't I noticed it until now? Why do I always have to ruin something perfect?

There's no way Elliot likes me back and now it's going to be one of those friendships. When one person is in love with the other but they don't feel the same. What happens if he gets a girlfriend? What do I do then? Die.

How do I stop liking him? I don't want to distance myself from him, he'll know something up and I don't think I could even if I wanted to. But now every time I'm around him I'm going to be awkward, I'm going to make everything so awkward.

I groan and shove my head in my hands trying to think of every possible ick to get him out of my mind but none of them seem to be working. I really must be in deep then.

After finishing off my shower sit on my bed in a towel robe while I scroll aimlessly on my phone. A message from Jayden pops up telling me that everyone going over hers for drinks tonight and telling me to be there.

I tell her that I'll come and carry on scrolling on my phone for the next hour before deciding to get ready. I slip on a pair of navy track pants and a white halter neck tank top. I do my makeup and I listen to some music while I finish up my hair.

I give Poppy her food and let her out in the garden for a bit before locking the house and leaving. I drive to Jay's place knowing that there's no chance I'm driving home tonight cause I'm planning on drinking. Before leaving my car I apply an extra layer of lipgloss and a tiny bit more perfume.

As I'm knocking on Jay's door it dawns on me that I'm going to have to see Elliot. I'm really going to need a drink before then.

"Dylan!" Jayden smiles excitedly as she opens the door, pulling me into a tight hug.

"Hey Jay." I reply, hugging her back equally as tight.

"Drink are in the kitchen everyones in the there," She points towards the living room, "But come kitchen with me for two seconds?" Jay pleads and I nod, letting her drag me there.

As soon as we get in the kitchen she blurts "I have a girlfriend."

"Okay?" I say slowly.

"Well technically she's not my girlfriend, not yet I don't even know if she's gay but-"

"Slow down babe." I remind her and she nods, taking a deep breath.

"I met this girl a few weeks ago and we're like good friends but I don't know if she likes me like that and I know for sure that I like her like that."

"Yeah join the club." I mutter and she shoots me a half shocked look.

"Why are you worried about it now?" I change the subject swiftly.

"Cause she's coming in about five minutes and I'm freaking the fuck out." Oh, damn.

"First of all have a drink, you need to calm your nerves. Second of all just focus on introducing her to everyone and try and stay around people, don't end up alone- you'll end up doing something stupid." Most of my advice to her is for me too.

"Yeah okay sure, I got this." Jays says to herself, grabbing a drink from the counter.

"Yeah you do." I say just as the doorbell rings and Jay's confident expression drop into one of total fear.