P o e t r y Book

About love

You once told me, that you will never give up on love, and that I shouldn't either. You said love is always worth it.

It's worth the pain it can cause. Worth the time you might loose fixing your broken heart. Worth the rejections you will face. At the end, love is worth all of it.

And that's why you're not afraid to love, you said, and I don't have to be either.

That makes you the bravest man I know, I've said; but I am not brave. I'm fucking scared. I'm so scared to go through that pain again, because of this stupid fucking love.

I've closed my eyes then and whispered the thoughts that would later relentlessly control my behavior: I think I'm broken. And I'm afraid that it will numb me for love. Because I can't be hurt like that again, I won't be.

That was when you took my head between your hands, looked at me with the sincerest look and said:

It hurts, because it was real. You hate him, because you loved him.

No one can take that away from you, not even him. You are blessed, because you got to know how it feels like to love. Do not forget the good parts. I want you to trust me, that in your life, you will find so much more of that good part of love, and it will be worth all the bad parts. Because your pain, it will heal.

Then you've brushed my tear away with your thumb, lifted my head towards your eyes and said:

Just don't give up on love. You need to promise me that, Bella.

Back then my promise was only half hearted, because I did not understand it's meaning, yet. Now I finally do.

The reason why love, and truly any affective emotion for other people is always worth it, is because the opposite of it is apathy and loneliness. And in the light of that, a broken heart will seem almost like a gift. Or in your terms, a blessing.

I will never forget your words, I will never forget your caring. I thank you for all of it, I thank you for your love. 

26/10/19