Expelled - Harry Potter Fanfic

Twelve - A Couple Different Conversations

Tonks sat at the dining table, her hands wrapped around a steaming mug of coffee. She had hardly slept since the confrontation on the roof where they guessed Harry was being... mistreated, and that was three days ago.

She looked at the mirror hanging across from her and frowned for a minute, trying to make her appearance look a little like Harry's. Soon enough she had dark raven hair and bright eyes.

It looked wrong. Like after everything they think Harry's been through his eyes wouldn't be so bright. Tonks sighed, changing her hair and eyes back to normal and taking a sip of her coffee.

It has been two days since she stunned- then felt the need to put a sleep spell for real rest- both Sirius and Harry, and neither of them had woken up. She's a little afraid she put a too strong of spell on them, but after glancing at Harry's record (and the twins amusing stories), she assumes he'll be fine and this isn't the first time.

There was a quick debate shortly after she and Remus had gotten Sirius and Harry settled on telling the order or waiting until Harry gives them the full details. Thankfully the meetings weren't as often as they used to be and questions weren't asked.

Tonks sighed and glanced at the clock. Perhaps five-thirty was too early to be drinking coffee that'll be in her system the rest of the day.

She heard footsteps coming down the stairs and watched as the door creaked open and a very sleepy and very confused Harry was standing there. He looked mildly surprised at Tonks being awake, probably because there was a floating joke that Tonks was hardly able to get up for work in the morning.

She gave a small smile and conjured up a second coffee, pushing it towards him and gesturing to a chair. Tonks watched as Harry sat down gingerly and took a small sip of his coffee, scrunching up his nose a bit at the heat.

"How are you?" Tonks asked tentatively.

He shrugged, frowning slightly and deliberately not making eye contact.

She sighed. "Look, I'm sorry I stunned you, but you looked like you were thinking about jumping. I also stunned Sirius so that he doesn't go after the... them, and he hit the roof pretty hard and then the sleep spell and that was two days ago. Do you have any questions?"

Harry shook his head, briefly meeting her eyes, then hesitated. "I'm sorry," he croaked, staring down into his foamy coffee.

Tonks started. "Sorry?

Harry swallowed the lump in his throat and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry I ran away. I'm sorry I'm an obscrual. I'm sorry I ran away again when I saw Professor Lupin. I'm sorry I pointed my wand at you. I'm sorry I pretended to escape. I'm sorry I jumped out the window. I'm sorry I tried to get away again. I'm sorry I threw the book, having you feel the need to stun us both. I'm sorry I don't trust anyone enough to be honest. I'm sorry I exist." He shut his mouth at the last one. He didn't mean for it to slip out- for any of it to slip out-, much like the tears forming in his eyes.

Tonks stared at him. "Your sorry?" she asked. "Your sorry? I feel like all of us should've payed more attention to the signs. I don't blame you for running- what was that last one?"

Harry shook his head, still staring at his coffee, trying to blink back the tears.

"You're sorry you exist?" Tonks whispered.

Harry shut his eyes and nodded, his breath coming in ragged gasps and tears flowing like rivers down his cheeks.

"Who's told you these things?"

"Vernon. Dudley. Petunia sometimes. Nightmares. People around the neighborhood... myself," his voice wavered.

He pushed his cup away, no longer wanting to be more awake, and rested his head on the table. He didn't notice when Tonks stood up and moved around to the same side as Harry. She rested a gentle hand on his shoulder.