Lost Wanderers (Halbrand / Rings of Powers)

8 - King of Ashes

The promised king.
On their way to Pelargir, Bronwyn explained to her the story behind the promised king that Halbrand should be.
Luthien felt so lost that she didn't notice how weary she was. The way to the city was still long, but she just surrendered to the darkness again and fainted.

When she woke up, she was in her familiar room in the palace wearing clean clothes. Her father and her brothers were around her.
Healers offered her something to drink and instructed her to limit her movements to let her bones repair.

"My bravest warrior" her father whispered caressing her hair, after the healers and servants left "I prayed all the Valar to see you and your brother back. I don't mind hell, if I can still have all my children with me".
"Then I'll mind if for you. Because this is truly hell" she murmured with husky voice.
"I wish I can disagree, Lou. I never imagined something so terrible in my worst nightmares" Rhys said leaning against the wall with his arms crossed.
"Let's leave it for another day. Now it's time to rest and recover" their father said sternly.

"What about the promised king?" Griff teased, his injured arm tied to his neck.
Luthien froze and held her breath. She still couldn't link the word king to the name Halbrand.
Lord Halbrand was enough.
Why King Halbrand? The promised king?

"What did you learn about him? I saw you two growing close when he was hosted here" Rhys said allusively peering at his sister.
"He never told me he's any promised king" she spat.
"So he pretended with you?".
"Not as much as I did. I didn't tell him I'm the Stewart's daughter" she shot him a mocking grin.
"You forgot the most important detail. What a pity. Maybe if you told him, he would have asked for your hand. You would be queen" Rhys mimicked to place a crown on her head, no matter how she glared menacingly at him.
Griff slapped his hand and he crossed his arms again.
"He's a king of ashes. I won't let her become queen of ashes" the Stewart said standing up from her side to walk back and forth.
"But Elendil's son is dead" Griff murmured with sadness.
Their father brushed a hand on his anguished face "A terrible loss. I still prefer an alliance with Numenor. If this Halbrand was a Numenorean Lord as we suspected at first, it would be alright. I want you far from this hell, Luthien".
She scowled at him "I don't run away".
"If not for you, for your family then. We'll stay here and fight. But we need hope. Hope that our blood is still running in someone's veins. Your veins" he stopped by her bed tapping her arm.
"I'm not going to Numenor. I don't want to be stuck on a bloody island while my home is burning" she protested.
"Let's leave this discussion for another day. Before she burns the whole palace down with her fury" Griff suggested and the other two men agreed.
She shot him a grateful look, then waited for them to be gone, so she could be alone and let her tears flow freely.

Haunting days passed before she was allowed to walk and leave the building again.
She struggled to get used to be careful with every breath and every little movement to avoid feeling that awful pain stabbing her chest again.
Her eyes were hungry for life, after seeing death swallowing everything in the blink of an eye.
She admired flowers, leaves, insects. And the people of her city.
Every single life seemed so precious now.
Her mind often wandered to far lands. She wished to know if he Elvish medicines saved Halbrand, but thinking of him always brought some sorrow.
She could remember clearly how he was the only reason that made her keep breathing when everything around them was burned, how she was terribly scared and their breaths entwined as they waited for the orcs to move away or they helped each other to stay on their feet and keep walking.
At night when the sky was clear, she stared at the stars, wondering if wherever he was he could see the same stars or if the view was different.

One morning her brother Griff found her in a different place from the ones she spent her last days.
Luthien was in the graveyard, a place of dead.
She was kneeling on the ground and placed a bunch of flowers on their mother's tomb.
"I should have visited her more often" she whispered with guilty.
Griff sat next to her and stared at the tomb "She wouldn't be upset if you spend your time more with the living, instead of the dead".
Her lips twitched with conflicting emotions.
"She used to encourage us to become strong, invulnerable. When she couldn't survive a cold".
Griff sighed "She was too good for this world. That's why she joined the gods so early".
He patted her back with his free hand "She would be happy now, to see us still alive after what we faced".
She didn't react "At least she's happy".
He studied her sorrowful expression and retreated his hand to adjust the arm hanging from his neck.
"If you're worried about Lord Halbrand, I bet he's recovering well now" he sighed at how his words affected her mood, darkening it more "I saw your face when you heard the people calling him king. I'm sorry that things are so complicated".
She fought her tears with her usual stubbornness "We never faced death so closely, Griff. All this politics, everything seems meaningless now. What I regret is not simply surrendering to my instincts in the few time we shared together. I know what you're thinking. I barely knew him for few days, I can't be already so attached to him. Yes, I don't know him much, but I've never wanted someone as much as I've desired him. And now I also owe him my life. But the truth about his legacy...".
Her voice choked in her throat and she fell silent.
"Love is a double edged sword" he said carefully "If what you feel can be called love. We've been taught that love isn't something we can afford, if we want to keep serving our people".
She scoffed "Didn't our father sacrificed everything to marry our mother? Wasn't it love?".
He hummed in agreement "Father didn't care of love in his youth. And destiny played a joke on him by making him fall for her".
She frowned, her eyes still lingering on the tomb in front of her "He never regretted all his choices to be with her".
"He never stopped loving her, even after she went where he couldn't follow her. Not yet" he swallowed hard "But look around us. Most of married couples are bad matches, or feelings fade after few years or even few months. Love is a fire that isn't easy to keep alive, sometimes it cools off, sometimes it explodes...".
"Don't speak of fire, please" she warned, closing her eyes and standing up.
"Sorry" he mumbled and imitated her "But wasn't it what you felt? The desire you mentioned? Like a flame?".
She kept her eyes closed for a while, then she opened them slowly and replied "Yeah, I guess".
"And now what do you feel?".
"Ice. I only want to feel ice" she hissed "I was planning to travel to Lindon as soon as I recovered enough. Now I feel conflicted. I don't know how to feel if I'll meet him again, knowing all the obstacles that suddenly rose between us".
He studied her torn expression "You don't want to become queen of ashes. Your worry is that you don't want anyone else to take that role".
Her face broke but she didn't allow the tears to fall.
"What's the matter? If more likely we'll burn in the next battle?".
"You have a choice, to avoid a possible disaster. You can just move to Numenor" he reminded her.
"My fears and my anguish will chase me there too. I'd end up throwing myself into the sea for the desperation" she spat.
"Luthien..." he said with a shiver.
"I mean it" she shot him a burning glare "Sending me away won't save me. I feel death like a shadow at my back. I'd rather fight until my last breath to defend our people".
He grabbed her shoulder, like to hold her there, wishing to protect her from that shadow she mentioned.
"I hope it will pass. That it's just the trauma of what we faced" he whispered "You have to live, little sister. You are our hope. Keep shining for us. Don't let wars, fears, not even love, cover your light".
She stared at him, surrendering to her feelings and letting the tears run down her cheeks.
She wrapped her arms around him and cried.
"I love you, brother. You're annoying but I care for you" she said through the sobs.
He held her close and kissed her head with a glance to the tomb "Love you more, Lou".

A/N

Wednesday 12th October 2022

🎵You'll be the saddest part of me
A part of me that willingly never be mine

You're still the oxygen I breathe
I see your face when I close my eyes 🎶

Listening to this song for the whole weekend helped me to make this chapter the most gloomy I've written so far for this story 😅

I find it very sad because Halbrand doesn't appear physically in the chapter, but he's a haunting presence in the characters' minds, specially poor Lou's 💔

What would you choose? To ignore everything else and choose Halbrand, even if he's a King of Ashes? Or to put duties first and help your own people?

This chapter was also an occasion to give some space to Lou's family, that so far has been mostly in the background 😊

And I've just discovered that Charlie Vickers acted with Sam Neill in a movie called Palm Beach 😍 (Sam Neill plays Lou's dad, the Stewart of Pelargir)

Personally, I chose Sam Neill because I loved him as Merlin and I needed to remind myself that magic and sorcerers are part of the LoTR world, while for now Halbrand seems far from that kind of stuff 😅