Diary on The Shelf!

Chapter 3

'Uncertain Webs'

HALIMA WATCHED as the adults made their way out of the sitting room and to their backyard. Ismail shifted under Ifrah's hard stare, the woman looked like she wanted to rip his balls out. Halima softly nudged her sister, the two stared at each other in long silence, exchanging words with their eyes.

Finally, Ifrah let her hand go and stood up, she glanced one more time at Ismail before she walked back upstairs. And then they were two. Halima was never one to approach people and especially not a man, but seeing as Ismail was not moving an inch she saw it best to sit next to him.

Awkward silence enveloped them, Halima played with the patterns on her dress, while Ismail avoided eye contact. Finally breaking the tension, he cleared his throat softly, drawing Halima's gaze to him.

Halima acknowledged that Ismail was good-looking, his facial features were both soft and strong. His eyes appeared gentle while his chin carried a certain firmness. His smile made her realize he was softer than she initially thought. Despite this, she found it difficult to maintain eye contact. She returned his smile and turned her attention to her lap.

"I'm sorry for the suddenness of all this. I know it's overwhelming," Ismail's voice was gentle, and Halima's eyes widened in surprise. She hadn't anticipated an apology, assuming he would be eager for a private conversation.

"It's okay." She mumbled.

Ismail grinned widely, "Your uncles are a lot." He laughed causing her to chuckle softly.

"Yeah."

"Would you like to go somewhere more private? Somewhere they won't be hovering?" Ismail gestured toward the adults, who quickly averted their gazes, pretending not to eavesdrop.

Halima hesitated momentarily, unsure if it was permissible to be alone with him. However, she figured it wouldn't hurt to have a private conversation. "Sure."

She led them to their library and asked him to sit on one of the dusty-looking sofas.

"Thank you." Ismail charmed flashing her a pearly smile.

"Anyway, it's really nice to meet you, Halima. I know it's not ideal to ask for your hand in marriage so quickly and I am willing to wait until you're done with your studies, but I didn't want anyone taking you before I could." He chuckled a little.

'Taking me?' Halima mulled, she shook her head feeling a bit disappointed. She felt as though she was property the way he said it like she was someone to own.

"Also, I think we're really great for each other."

'Wow! Some balls.'  Halima thought, unimpressed. She held her expression, feeling a slight pang of discomfort.

"I don't mean it in a negative way, Halima. I just think that given our education and backgrounds, we could complement each other well. I understand it will take time for feelings to develop, and I'm willing to be patient."

Halima sighed, she knew she didn't have a say when her parents had already made the decision for her. Even if she was to tell Ismail about her thoughts on arranged marriages, he would have a fit and tell her parents about it, and then she would have to sit through hours of lecture on the importance of women's

"Okay." She said shortly.

"Yeah? Oh, you have no idea how happy that makes me Halima. I don't care how slow we take things, as long as we're together." He grinned widely. Halima found herself grinning, his smiles were infectious.

"So, a doctor huh." Halima teased, shifting the conversation.

Ismail chuckled and scratched his eyebrow. "Yeah, I'm still in residence but only for two more years and then more years in Medical school before I'm a certified doctor."

"That's got to be cool, I've always had Medicine as my second career option, and were it not for my mom's incessant pushing I would have done it."

"Ah, so you did Communication as a protest I assume." He asked a little smirk on his lips.

"Exactly. Though I don't regret it. It turns out my passion lies in production." She chuckled softly. Conversation flowed more naturally when they weren't discussing marriage.

"I bet you do, who knows, maybe someday we'll get to hear you say, he cleared his throat, made a makeshift microphone with his fisted hands, and with the best feminine voice he could muster he said, 'Halima Mohammed, NTV.'

He just wouldn't let it go huh, Halima grimaced at the use of his name as her second name referring back to them getting married. She heavily sighed and decided not to say a word. Ismail laughed at his joke and then quieted.

"Well, then I need to go back to work but I am looking forward to our next meeting. Your mother gave me your number so expect a text from me soon beautiful." He smiled and then stood up and walked right out the door.

Halima sat there in shock, she had never been so speechless for the wrong reasons. Ismail's confidence, while admirable, didn't make her feel anything, his compliment didn't make her bashful, and even his handsome face didn't make her heart clench and stomach twist.

Was she going to get married to a man she just didn't have feelings for? Maybe they would eventually grow as they spent time together.

"Why do you look like Ismail just proposed?" Ifrah's voice interrupted, as she appeared from the book aisle. Halima glanced at her sister, noticing Ifrah's return to her usual self—no hijab, sweatpants, and her carefree demeanor.

Halima observed her sister for a moment, wondering what it would be like to be as free as Ifrah. Was Ifrah genuinely free, or was she merely digging a deeper hole of recklessness that she might never escape? What if Ifrah's pursuit of worldly desires led her to spiritual ruin? Was freedom truly detaching from religious principles and indulging in earthly pleasures? But weren't these pleasures fleeting, while the Hereafter held eternal consequences?

Ifrah watched her sister battle internally for a few minutes, she smacked her lips and walked to her. "Come on you, let's get something to eat." She stretched out her hand for her to take, Halima managed a small smile and let her sister walk them back to her room upstairs.

Ifrah eagerly opened Halima's snack drawers, grabbing dark chocolate bars, a bag of potato crisps, and some chewing gum. She tossed them onto the bed before collapsing on top with a soft thud.

"Careful, your phat ass could break my bed." Halima playfully scowled.

"Honey, Valerie worships this phat ass," Ifrah teased, winking and causing Halima to snort with laughter.

"Shut up,"

Ifrah chuckled, tossing a bar of chocolate at her. "So, how did it go with the doctor?"

"Decent, I suppose," Halima sighed. They settled into a comfortable silence. Ifrah lay on her back on the bed, one hand propped beneath her head.

Halima longed for what Ifrah had—the genuine affection of someone she loved and knew, rather than the uncertainty of an arranged match.

"How is it with her?" She asked breaking their silence.

"With Valerie?" Ifrah asked propping herself so she could see her sister better.

"Yeah."

"Why little sister, are you having haram thoughts?" Ifrah teased, a smirk playing on her lips.