Things Fall

Falling-(1)

Falling.

Falling like a star, but not from the sky, from a cliff, and screaming a scream so high pitched and loud enough to be heard 10 miles away, but it doesn't make a sound, I don't make a sound, then only a few seconds before I hit the ground or fall in the water, or whatever happens at the end of my dream, I wake up.

I wake up in sweat covered clothes, sweating from the terrible dream I have almost every week, like clockwork.

I'm walking along a path with someone who seems familiar, a guy, who, between you and me is quite handsome, and soon enough we reach our destination, according to him. Our destination on our date, and we sit down on the edge, the edge of a cliff, just enough away to not fall.

We talk and talk, for hours it seems, about ourselves and things interesting in our lives. Then all of a sudden he gets up, I copy him, and we walk, step by step, closer and closer to the edge, still just far enough to not fall. I tell him to stop and come back but he keeps going, he doesn't stop until...

He falls, and I was stupid enough to try and save, or just watch.

CRACK!

Shit, oh shit, I back up, slowly, carefully, trying to not make it crack more then, I fall, trying to scream as I go, down, down, down, as I get closer to the ground, or water, I pray, to whomever is listening, watching as I am about to reach my end, asking to be saved and then.

I wake up scared to death, tears rolling down my cheeks, startled enough to not make me wanna go back to sleep. I usually wake up around 4 or 5 and then I can't fall back asleep, then I just have to get up 2 or 3 hours later.

It sucks, falling, whether it's falling literally or falling in love, or falling under someone's control. 

The last one was a little specific, but it's because it happens too often, it happened to me, under a man's control, it sucked, it was so specific and repetitive. 

It was the worst thing that has happened to me in a long time.

It also lasted a long time, it ended 6 months ago and it lasted 7 months, it's been more than a year since it all began.

~1 Year Flashback~

Walking down the street, about to pass the Café, with my bestfriend, Cassidy.

"Ooh, he's cuttee!" Cass said pointing to a boy sitting inside the Café.

"Yeah, kinda." I halfway rolled my eyes, I looked around and saw a beautiful guy sitting at a table outside the Café. Not cute, not hot, beautiful. 

Slightly sharp jawline, amber tanned skin, short but fluffy brown hair, a little stubble, strong arms. 

"He's beautiful." I said in awe, pointing with my nose. 

"Beautiful huh?" Cass asked in a mischievous way.

"NO, don't even think about it!" I screamed at her.

She then pushed me towards him and basically ran inside the Café screaming, "Your welcome!!"

He looked at me awkwardly and so did I.

"Hello." He said in a sort of gruff voice but he said it politely and welcoming.

"Hi, I'm sorry, um, is this seat taken?" I asked after a minute.

"No, um, I guess you could sit there. If you want." He said, unconvinced that I was going to sit by him.

"Thanks, sorry, I uh, don't know if you heard any of that. Did you?" I asked hoping he didn't.

"No," I sighed relieved. "Just that I'm beautiful, and that she forced you over here."

I gasped quietly. "Oh, my god. I'm so sorry, you are very handsome though. I hope you know that."

"I do, I get compliments daily." He replied, looking me deep in my eyes.

I started to get uncomfortable. "Are you sure I didn't take someone's seat? Like your girlfriend's or your friend?" 

"What makes you think I have a girlfriend?" He asked, sounding offended.

"You don't!" I asked astonished. "How, you're jacked, and hot in general, and you seem nice enough."

He laughed.

"What!?" I asked astounded. He sighed a small sigh and shook his head.

"I don't have a girlfriend." He said in a serious tone looking me straight in the eyes.

"O-o-ok." I could barely hold myself together as he stared into my soul with his green eyes.

They were a beautiful moss green with golden brown specks. They were swirled a little in a few spots, the green and golden so he had a few amber looking spots.

I almost fell out of my chair in shock when he finally said, "So, who are you? I never actually caught your name."

"Oh, right, sorry, I'm Andrea. And yours?" I asked. "My what, oh, sorry. I'm Jake." He replied.

"Hi Jake. So, uh, how's your day been." I asked trying to start conversation to make it not awkward anymore.

"Pretty good. How about you?" He asked.

"Good, it's been a little weird. Have you ever had like a day where your brain moves faster than your body and you feel like you're moving in slow-mo or something?" 

"Um, I think? I mean I guess, yeah. That's a good way of explaining it." 

"Well that's how my day has been. It's a weird feeling. I think I might have like, ADHD or something." I replied.

He burst out laughing for a whole 2 minutes before I asked, "What!?"

"I'm sorry, that was just very random." He managed.

"See, I'm telling you, I'm sure I have ADHD!" I started laughing too.

We went on laughing for another 2 minutes before Cass walked behind me and scared the living crap out of me.

"Here you go," She handed me my latte and then said to Jake with an evil grin, "Hi, I'm Cassidy, you can call me Cass, and I'm Andrea's bestie."

"Hi, I'm Jake. Or, uh Jacob but I don't like being called Jacob, so you know, Jake is fine." He replied sounding a bit nervous, especially more than before.

I wonder if it's because of Cass. 

"So," She started as she pulled a chair up and sat. "How are you?" She asked him.

"Go-good, we were just um, talking about how Andrea here has ADHD, or so she thinks." He told her, about to start laughing again.

"Stop, you're gonna make me laugh again." I chuckled, setting my coffee down.

"Ahh, ok, but we know you don't have trouble in school, like at all." She looked at me while saying this. She then looked at Jake and said, "She has no trouble with school at all, she is an A student, like all A's but I know you have difficulty sitting still." She pointed at my leg. 

My foot was on the ground and it was bouncing, like it always does. I made it stop and then a few seconds later my finger started tapping on the table.

"Damn it, I know, I just can't sit still." I went back to bouncing my leg. "What about you, any weird quirks?"

"I mean, I'm depressed? Does that count!" He replied smiling.

"Don't worry you can laugh about it if you want, it's not all that bad." He said again, but we weren't laughing.