Lovesick

Chapter 17

I flexed my neck, feeling Soobin's hot, whiskey breath. His words did not scare me. Kate would want me to stand my ground and protect our love, our future family. And I wasn't about to allow him to tear us apart. Or so I thought as I turned the doorknob. If that's the case...then why am I running? I jerked open the door. Stopped. Took a deep breath. I wasn't ready to face the confrontation in front of me. I needed to talk to Kate. I walked away leaving Soobin standing there tangled in his web of emotions for my wife. I could feel his dirty little sneer boring holes into my back. I closed my eyes, my heart pounding hard in my chest with each step I took towards my room. I reached to turn the knob noticing my hand was shaking. Soobin had definitely rattled me from the inside out. I walked in and noticed Kate laying on her stomach on my bed, headphones on her ears, swinging her legs in the air. She looked up from the opened magazine in front of her. Panic fell over her face, "Cookie?" She pulled the headphones from her ears slowly and questioned me again, "Cookie?" I closed the door gently, and leaned against it, "Kitty Kate." My head fell back. She moved her legs behind her sitting up, "Oh god, Cookie. What's happened? Is it Soobin? Does he need me?" That was the last thing I wanted to hear. My brown eyes darkened as I peered at her, "Honestly, Kate?! If it's not Junnie, it's Soobs. You need to hear me out now. For us. For our baby. Put an end to this now." I made a move towards her, joining her on the bed. I folded the GQ magazine and laid it aside. I reached for her hands, "Kitty Kate, open your eyes. See the fool he's playing you out to be." The corners of her mouth turned up. Damn it! She was smiling at me. My heart did somersaults right there on the spot. But this was no smiling matter. I had to get her to see. She stated softly, "Cookie, you have to trust me, ok? There's really no need to be jealous or over-cautious." She raised a hand, the tips of her fingers coming in contact with my cheek, "I know you're only looking out for me, but you really have nothing to worry about." I hissed turning my head ahead. As much as I always welcomed her touch, right now I could not allow myself to get caught up in her caress. I pulled her fingers away, "Jealous? Over-cautious? Worried? Kate, you really have no idea of the tricks Soobs is playing on you, do you? I thought we could make amends, but he reminded there's no coming back from the hell he's put me through. He's out to get everything I love...including you, Kate. Kate, I beg of you. Stay clear of him. Protect yourself. Protect our baby. What if Soobs loses it again? He could really hurt you. If you want do it for yourself, do it for our baby." She shifted up closer to me, "Cookie, my love." I shook my head, "Kate, no. Don't sugar coat me with affirmations of your love for me. That won't help the situation at hand. I mean it, baby. I love you, and I'm tired of standing on the sidelines watching you dote on him. He's pure evil. He's a genius at dirty deeds. And your is puppet. All he has to do is tug on a string, and you'll dance for him." She pouted, tucking a strand a hand behind her ear, as she looked away feeling ashamed, "Cookie, is that how you really see me? You think I'm that gullible?" Oh dear...now I've hurt her feelings, but we have to talk this out. My parents had always taught me the best resolution in a marriage is to talk things out. If we want to work at having a good marriage, we have to be willing to express what's on our hearts...not just sweep them aside. I reached for her right hand getting her attention, "Hey..." She turned sad blue eyes on me, "Really, Cookie?" I sighed, squeezing her fingers with my own, "Kate, I didn't mean it like that. You're an over caring person. You always look for the good in someone. But baby, sometimes the good doesn't exist. Maybe at some point in time Soobs was a good person, but he's bitter, cold, lost. Kate, you know this. He's hurt you in ways that is so unimaginable, so unforgivable." A tear burned the corner of my eye. Just thinking of it pained me. I love my wife, but sometimes her heart of gold makes her so stubborn. She's too good, and my friends know that, so she's easily to take advantage of. My chin dropped to my chest and I shook my head, "Am I just wasting my breath? Kate, for once, think of us. Think of how this is affecting our family. I did my best to get you away from him, away from this place. As much as I want you here with me, I need you safe." I felt her fingers in my hair, sifting through strands. Kate pressed her lips together, "Cookie, look at me." I closed my eyes, "Kitty Kate, I can't. Not until you promise me to leave well enough alone with Soobs...." then I added in a whisper under my breath, "And Junnie." I knew with Junnie it was asking too much, but that relationship needed closure too. I heard a soft huff fall from her lips and her shoulders dropped, her petite fingers falling away. She didn't say anything. The silence between us was deafening. I looked up at my beautiful wife through my long eyelashes without lifting my head. She was fidgeting with the rings on her left hand and nibbling on her lower lip. She was definitely pondering on my words. I tried not to smile. She was so damn stinking cute, and it delighted me to know she was mine. I watched the way her tongue peeked out moistening that same bottom lip, and my stomach tightened into knots. She let out a ragged breath, "Cookie, I know this isn't easy, and I know it puts a strain on us. But you have to trust me." I wanted to grab her and shake some sense into her. I did trust her. Wholeheartedly. Fully. It was my friends that has driven the line of trust between us. Suddenly I'd done just what I'd thought. I grabbed her by the upper part of her arms and shook her, "Kate," I growled through gritted teeth, "For the love of Korea, wake the fuck up! It's him I don't trust! His words have proven his useless worth!" She looked at me in sheer terror, "Cookie, I hear you. You're hurting me." I hadn't realized my grip had tightened in the process. I massaged the upper part of her arms and apologized softly how sorry I was. Then I took her face into my hands, my thumbs caressing her cheekbones. I rested my forehead to hers, "My sweet Kitty Kate, please forgive me. I just love you so much. I love this beautiful life we share. I love our baby. And I don't want anything to happen to tear us apart. I can't bare to lose you or our baby to Soobs or Junnie. You have to believe that." She nodded and curled the fingers of her right hand around my left wrist, "And I do, Cookie." My tears reflected in her eyes, "Kate, promise me you won't rush to his aid anymore. You won't rush to his beck and call. He doesn't need you like you think. It's a game. A sick game, Kate. He's toying with you, and I won't stand for it anymore." A slid down her cheek absorbing under the pad of my thumb. Neither one of us liked it when we argued, but we needed this talk. Kate needed to hear the awful truth about Soobin. We all wanted to believe he was getting better. However, he's a deceiver, and he deceived us all. The pills, the suicide attempt, all of it was just a destructive way to pull Kate in closer. And so far, he's done a damn good job of doing it. As desperate as I am to keep her away from him, he's threatened me that he won't stand down. And Kate needs to understand that. Soobin is only looking out for himself. He wants my life, my baby, my woman. It's sad to say, but it's so much easier dealing with Junnie than Soobin. My fingers fell to my lap and it all just hit me. If I lose Kate, I lose everything. I shutter within my skin, feeling the chill. Kate leans in, wrapping her arms around me, kissing my temple. She says warmly against the shell of my ear, "I promise you, Cookie." I buried my face into the crook of her and gripped at her hips helplessly through the material of her jeans. The very scent of her mingled with mine. Us. Sweet. Sugary. Fruity. I had to tell her. I sobbed, "Kate, you're going to have to be strong. Soobs is going to try every way he can to sway you away from me. He's told me so. I'm afraid even when you return to Daegu it still won't be the end of it. I'm trying so hard to be strong, Kitty Kate. I really am. But I'm just a helpless fool for you." She held me tighter, "Cookie, you're no fool. And I love you. Always remember that. I promise I'll tip toe around him." I raised my drenched face, "No, Kate. That's not enough. You have to go back. I don't want you to, but it's the only way." She shook her head, "Cookie, no. My job isn't that pressing at the moment. I want more time with you. I'll stay under your thumb. I only thought I was helping him. All the things he said..." I added softly, "Was to lure you in."  We both heard a door slam. Kate jumped and eyed the closed door. It was a sound we both knew all too well. Kate's eyes shifted to meet mine. She mouthed, "Soobin?" I shrugged knowing damn well it was him. He was furious about something. I know our conversation didn't end well, but was he angry at me? Who cares if he was? Kate was my life, not his. Something disturbing reflected in my wife's green eyes. Was there something she wasn't telling me? The footsteps descended down the stairs. She let out a breath she'd been holding in. I felt her tremble. I asked  being the concerning husband that I am, "Baby, what's the matter? Did he say something to you? Did he do something? Tell me, Kate. Like I said, this has to end." She moved off the bed, and stood at the window with her back to me. This was not good. I broke out in chills. Tears filled the back of my eyes. I could feel the tips of my ears turning red. She rubbed the upper part of her arms, "Cookie." She was crying, "I'm ok." I moved up behind her, laying a hand over her lower back, "Sweetheart, you don't sound ok. Talk to me." She turned her head to look at me then back out the window. Just seeing the tracks of her tears tore my heart into. What had he possibly done to her to change her attitude towards him? I'll kill him whatever it is! He's gone too far now to hurt my family! She was fine up until now. What happened? She sniffed, "Cookie, as much as I try to help him, he still frightens me. It's the things he does. His motivations. I was in the bathroom earlier trying to clean up. Tae had been talking to me, and Soobin through his drink at us, and it got in my hair and..." I swallowed the hard lump in my throat. I didn't like where this was going. What the hell?! Just because she was talking to Tae, or did he happen to see something else to cause such rage? She shook her head, hugging herself, "He made advances at me. He asked me to meet him in his room. He wanted to...you know." Dear god! I snapped falling back a step, "Kate, no? Please tel me I'm not hearing you correctly! He deliberately asked you to ffff...him?!" She dropped her face into her palms, sobbing, "Yes. Please don't go ballistic on me. I didn't do anything." I was fuming. Pissed off.  This was the last straw. I am putting her ass on the next flight out, or I'll personally drive her back to Daegu. I can't take this anymore. Who the hell does he think he is asking her to do some crazy shit while we are all under the same roof?! Pure evil, I tell you! I roared, "I'm going to kill him for this!" She wept, "Cookie, no. Just let it be." I needed to console her, to hold her. But I was too mad at the moment to do so. I left her, slamming the door behind me to announce my leaving.