Lost and Found (A Castle Fanfiction)

React to Re-Act

Rick's heart raced. His mind was absolutely full. He didn't know what to say or what to think. As he sat across from Kate, not a word coming from his mouth, he felt he could barely breathe. She sat quietly across from him, not saying a word. After having told him everything, she couldn't think of another possible word. Instead, she just watched him. She watched him stare at the table. She watched him try his hardest to process the news, but he couldn't.

As she watched him try to work through everything, she also watched Alexis run about with another kid behind him. She looked delighted to be alive. She looked absolutely thrilled to be here. Unfortunately, this was not something Kate could focus on right that moment. She had to focus on the matter at hand. She had to ask, "Are you-... Are you alright?"

He breathed out. "Ye- yeah. I'm- I'm fine. I just-... You're five months along?"

Kate tried to lighten the mood by saying, "Well, that is how long ago we slept together."

He didn't ease up. "I... Why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't know," Kate said, for the first time feeling shame in her decision. "I guess... I guess I thought I could handle this on my own."

"And you didn't think I would want to know?!"

She shrunk while his anger grew. "Rick, I-... No, I-.. I didn't-... I didn't want you to know."

"Why not?!"

"Because we broke up. We were done. I- I didn't want to-..." She couldn't finish that statement.

Unfortunately, he was able to finish it for her. "You didn't want to have to be tied to me anymore." She choked back on guilt. He watched her eyes fall in shame. "Wow. You must- really hate me if you were willing to go through raising our child on your own in order to keep from seeing me."

"I-... I just-..." She couldn't say it. All she could think was, "I just didn't want to have to be so close to you. It hurts too much."

He breathed. Looking down at the table, closing his eyes and debating in his head what he was going to do. If she really hated him that much, he didn't want to force himself into her life. He didn't want to put her through anything worse than what she'd already been through. Still, he knew, "I can't leave my kid, Kate. I- I can't just walk away."

She breathed. Seeing his eyes, knowing his heart, she knew he couldn't just leave his child behind. He wasn't that kind of man. He couldn't just leave his son behind. "I know," she told him, letting her eyes fall to look at her stomach.

Her eyes then misted as fear snuck into her heart. She knew he was a good father. She knew he had more money than she did. She knew he could work from home and that he was someone whom many people revered. She knew how custody cases worked. So, with a deep sense of pain in her chest and serious anxiety in her mind, she looked up at him with a glassy gaze and choked out, "Please, just- just don't try to take my baby from me. He's-..." her lip quivered, "he's all I have left."

As two tears slipped down her cheeks, Rick looked at her with absolute pity. His heart was breaking for her. "Kate," he said, taking her hands with his, "I would never do that. I just- I just want to make sure my kid is happy and healthy and that they never feel like I don't love them or that I wouldn't do anything for them."

She looked up at him for only a moment, and in his eyes, she found honesty. While she attempted to steady herself, she told him, "I promise, he will be."

Rick gave a half smile, nodding gently. He then wiped her tears from her cheeks, allowing her to sooth herself into his gentle touch. He watched her fears calm down and softly smiled at her inner peace. He then let his hand fall back to hers and asked, "So it's a boy?"

Kate looked up at him, batting her heavy lashes and telling him, "Yeah. Yeah, he's- he's beautiful. The doctor says he's completely healthy and he's got a strong kick for only being five months old."

"Wow," Rick said in a chop of a laugh. "That's- wow." Kate smiled and nodded. He then watched her look down at her stomach and asked, "Do you mind if I-..."

She looked at him, her eyes widening for a moment before she said, "No. No, I- I guess not. I mean, it's not like your hand has never been there before."

Rick then smiled, placing his hand where hers guided it. As he caressed what was really just her skin, he felt almost connected to his son. Even though the baby didn't move or kick, he could feel another life there. It was still incredible to him, no matter how many times he had felt it before with Alexis. When he finally pulled himself closer, eventually placing two hands on her stomach, drawing his face closer to her than it had been in a while, he whispered down to his son, "Hey, buddy. Hi. I'm your daddy."

These words, though brand new to Kate, felt one hundred percent right to her. Having his hands on her stomach, being this near to him, feeling him and their son together felt like-... heaven. As he caressed her skin through her shirt, she closed her eyes for just a moment and allowed herself to bask in this feeling as though it could eventually be a constant. But- then she remembered who she was. She remembered how temporary all of this was and how nothing good in her life ever lasted. She snapped out of it by asking, "So, um, I assume you want to have something in writing."

Rick pulled away from her stomach. "Well, we don't have to do that just yet. I mean, we could try to give us another try. We could try to make this work. I- I think we owe him that much."

"Rick-..." She looked into his eyes, and could honestly not think of a plausible reason to not try.

He sighed. "Come on, Kate. Just- one more go around. One more chance, you and me."

He watched her gaze. She watched his soul beg her to do this. She couldn't deny it was the right thing to do. She just- didn't want to get hurt again. Still, when her son kicked against the soft part of her skin, just below where her hand was resting, she knew in her heart she had to do this for him. So, she was left with no choice. She had to tell him, "Alright. I-... alright."

Just then, Alexis came running at the writer and jumped into his lap, asking innocently, "Daddy! Daddy! Can we go for icecream? Please?"

He smiled weakly. "Well, I guess we should celebrate somehow. Would you like to join us for ice cream, Kate?"

She looked at the young girl who was half begging her to go, and said with some feeling of obligation as well as a desire to do so, "I would love to."