The Timeservers

Chapter 53

New York City, New York

The Peccadillo Circus

December 20, 227 P.F.E

2358 hours

The tracks are worse than the rest of the circus. People here have had their fun out in the relative safety of the main station. Now they want more. The things that happen in the tunnel aren't worth a few marks, or a few meals. The things that happen in the tunnel are strike worthy. They would put anyone in a penance facility for years, even some chancellors.
Via's stomach roils and she's not sure if it's the drinks she had or all the things happening around her. She sticks to the shadows and averts her eyes, looking up only to make sure she's going the right way and to apologize for bumping into someone. She runs her hand over the brick walls so she can keep herself at least somewhat upright.
Track six is deep down the tunnel. She finds it about halfway down and ducks into it. There's a faint glow from there, and Via feels a brief hope that she'll be able to get above the ground. She stumbles down the track, towards the light.
When she sees what's in the tunnel she wishes she had never even heard of the circus.
There's a line of tears of tomorrow going on almost endlessly. There's a pipe running behind the tears and there are holes in it. She's not sure what the holes are for, but wherever there's a hole there's a tear. Most of them are empty. They swirl and glow, almost pulsing. Each one of them has a diamond forming in the center, small, but sitting there, suspended.
Via had only seen tears when she was briefly taken into Historian territory for training. They had been terrifying, utterly petrifying in every way. She wouldn't go within twenty feet of them. Not after all of the stories she'd heard.
The trapped people all hold different poses. Some of them look like they were pushed in, stumbling forward or back. Some of them look like they had jumped, running leap, a jump from a stationary spot, or from some ancient scaffolding put up to repair a section of the wall. Their hair is suspended, lifting behind them in twisted tangles that might fall to their backs again one day.
She doesn't want to find Tatiana here, but she can't leave, not without her. Via takes a deep breath and starts walking down the line of tears.
"Tatiana! Tat! Tatiana!" Via calls. Via walks down the line a bit, calling Tatiana's name. When she finally catches sight of Tatiana's face she rushes toward it.
Tatiana is frozen, staring out at the world from within her glowing cage. Her face is absolutely defeated. Her eyes are deep pools of depression and hopelessness. Her hair is splayed out behind her like she's underwater. If it weren't for the intense pain in her expression you wouldn't be able to tell that she's still alive, at least alive in some capacity.
There's a note, suspended with her. It's written on card paper so that it wouldn't bend while she jumped. Every letter is fast like she had to get it out like she couldn't stand to stay in this time for a moment longer than she had to.
No one is forcing me to do this. I wanted to get that clear first. I jumped into the tear. It was my choice.
People will be wondering why I did this. It's simple. I am- was a candidate for chancellorship. I was the second-best student. Then I was the first. The first before me left.
I hurt her, not very chancellory home. That's how it works though and if you don't know that then there's something wrong with you, especially if you're seeing this. I hated her because she had something I thought I wanted, the top spot. She's better than me.
I got what I thought I wanted. Now I know that it's the worst thing to ever want. I hated it. All the anger and punishment every other candidate had put on her, which I encouraged, fell to me. I didn't know there would be so much pressure. I didn't know how good I would have to be. It crushed me. I was broken. I've been cracking for a long time, I didn't notice it. This broke me though.
Someone let me know about this place. I came because I thought it would take some of the pressure off. It was stupid. I found the tears though. I formed a plan and it was the smartest thing I've ever done.
The next time I came I was prepared. I came right here. I jumped, holding what could be called a suicide note in front of me. At least I will. I don't want this life anymore, so I'm making a new one. I want to forget the old one, and this is how I'm doing it.
Goodbye, Tatiana Finch.