Gotham's Lucky Charm (Daminette)

Ch 18 - Not Alone

Secrets....

Secrets...

Secrets...

Nothing is so lonely as a secret.

Marinette tried to keep her secrets safe. She was not lonely as the guardian— she lied to herself. She didn't care that Lila turned their classmates against her— she lied to Chloe and Alix. She was happy— she lied to Luka and Kagami. She was strong— she lied to the kwamis. She was fine— she was not fine.

Three years of secrets. Three years of lies. Three years of loneliness.

Marinette was imprisoned by an ocean. Blue waves of secrets, lies, and loneliness crashed around her. The waves were a barrier that separated Marinette from the rest of the world. In the center of her ocean... Marinette was alone. The waves crashed and dragged her deep below the cold waters.

She was drowning drowning drowning below waves that tasted as salty as tears.

Alone...

Alone...

Alone...

An outstretched hand breached through the blue. The hand was tanned and calloused. But gentle. It was the hand of a green-eyed boy who worried when she disappeared from class, called his family when he couldn't find her, and pulled her tight against his chest when she returned to him.

Marinette imagined his voice calling her name over the sound of crashing waves.

"Damian!" She shouted. "Stay away! The waves are dangerous!"

"Habibti!" She imagined Damian ignoring her warning and reaching out even further towards her. "If my hand is heavy, will you carry it for me? If your heart is heavy, will you let me carry it for you?"

Memories of locker doors, heavy textbooks, and hand holding in the Gotham Academy hallways flooded Marinette's mind.

"I want to." Marinette stared at imaginary Damian's hand. "I want to trust you with my secrets. But I'm scared. I think... I love you."

"Then love me. Trust me."

"I want..." Marinette shook her head and sank deeper into her lonely ocean. "No. It doesn't matter what I want. It's my duty to keep Paris safe. And to keep the people I love safe, I have to keep my secrets safe—"

"MARI!"

Marinette's eyes shot open. The dream of crashing ocean waves and Damian's outstretched hand disappeared. She stared up at the concerned faces of Ivy and Harley.

"Oh! It worked!" Harley's cool hand brushed Marinette's bangs away from her sweaty forehead. "Ya finally woke up!"

"What..." Marinette sat up from the floor. "What happened?"

"You fainted." Ivy smiled gently.

"I..." Marinette's vision blurred. She tasted salt on her lips. Tears? When had she started to cry? She used her sleeve to wipe her face and wished that she could also wipe away the awful feeling that made her heart sink in her chest.

"Marigold?" Ivy eyes were filled with so much worry and tenderness that it made Marinette's heart feel just a little lighter. "Are you okay?"

When was the last time that Marinette's parents had looked at her like that?

She couldn't remember.

"Je ne vais pas bien," Marinette mumbled. It was becoming harder to breathe, but she couldn't stop the words spilling from her lips. "Je ne vais pas bien, je ne vais pas bien, je ne vais pas bien, je ne vais pas bien—"