Church Camp For Dummies

warming up to him

I didn't recognize it at first, but I felt a warm, sunshine scented touch across my body. As my nerves thawed, my desperation to receive more rose within. I seemed to be feeling more warmth pressed up against me and I grabbed at it with shaking hands. The rest of my body also pressed up to the heat, never quite feeling close enough. I didn't open my eyes despite shifting lights filtering through my closed eyelids. I don't remember much, only being too tired to see or feel or hear, but I definitely remember the primal instinct to attach myself to the comfort I received.
The next thing I remember is the annoying thwoncking of a woodpecker. When I finally adjusted and woke up officially, I was still quite chilly. I was in the nurses office, as I presumed by the first aid tools scattered around. There was a thin fish patterned blanket sprawled over me and a plastic covered mattress underneath me. Groggily, I turned to take in my surroundings as my eyes slowly became familiar to the burn of the new sun. There were more fishes on the sky blue walls, seemingly painted on by hand. My bed was pressed up against a wall and across from me was a kitchen, very much made in the 70's.
I smelled pine wood, black tea and that familiar sunshine scent. I looked down to see I was wearing a maroon polo shirt, the name of the camp written in cursive lettering above the right breast pocket. It was incredibly too big for me, but I didn't have the conscience to care yet. The nurses office was much tackier than I imagined it would be, but it had a charm to it. I blinked slowly, my memories pouring in. Then, the pain hit. My shoulder and ankle throbbed and burned like fire. I let out a weak grunt, a bit squeakier than I would've expected coming from my mouth.
"You're awake?" I heard floorboards creaking behind me and an older woman came into view. She wore blue slacks and, you'd never guess, a fish patterned shirt. Judging by the stethoscope around her neck, I came to the conclusion she must be the nurse. To my surprise, the stethoscope had a little fish pin on it too. Something tells me she might like fish.
"What happened?" I mumbled, my mouth dry as sand.
"We found you laying in the shower room this morning, cold as ice," So nobody found me until the morning? I thought. She continued.
"We've been trying to warm you up since, but your appendages are probably still numb. You were already breaching the line of stage 2 frostbite by the time we found you."
I pulled my hand out of the blanket and scanned it, a little scared. I've seen what frostbite can do to fingers. The nurse laughed
"Don't worry honey, all your fingers are in perfect shape, just a little numb probably. Just wait there, I'll get you some tea."
I let out a sigh and noticed a clock on the wall. 5:45 am. The camp hadn't even started yet. I pulled my body upright and let out a heavy breath, thinking over that hell of a night. Before, I had thought that this camp may be uncomfortable for me, but not dangerous. I was wrong, apparently.  The nurse walked over to me.
"You're pretty old to be at this camp, aren't you?"
“Yeah, I’m aware.”  The nurse eyed me and then let out a realized grunt.
“You're that girl, aren't you? The one who's agnostic!” Her dark curls bounced as she walked toward me. I heard water boiling on the stove.
“Yeah, that’s me.”
“You must have it pretty rough here, huh? I get it, it can feel very isolating when you find yourself in such a different environment.” She smiled knowingly at me, which I responded to with a raised brow.
“You understand, huh? How’s that?” She fished (no pun intended) out a necklace that was tucked into her shirt. To my surprise, it had a little star of David at the end.
“Wow, you do get it. How do you manage to not lose your mind?” I was genuinely curious at this point.
“Hun, I’ve worked here for 30 years, I have seen it all. In fact, it used to be much more strict here before Joseph inherited the camp from his father.” She held my hand gently and began massaging my fingers. They were a bit sore, but it felt good.
“Joseph didn’t make this camp?”
“Goodness, no. His father was a local priest that bought the land to spread The Word and when he passed on a couple years ago, it all fell on Joseph's shoulders. As I remember, he was sort of a rebellious young soul who went against all his fathers rules. He never wanted to run this place, but after his dad died I think he felt the need to continue the camp out of respect. He's fallen in love with the land, but he's still very young. It’s a lot of pressure.” Her eyes were filled with a warm nostalgic sadness. She really seemed to care for Joseph, like he was family.
“Wait, how old is he?”
“His last birthday passed a couple of weeks ago, so…” she counted for a second, “I think he's 22 now.”
My mouth fell open for a second before I snapped it shut. He had such a mature aura, I thought he had to be at 4 years older than that. Running a camp for kids must really wear you down. I pondered on something for a second.
“How old was he when he had to start running the camp in place of his dad?”
“About as old as you are now I think.” She moved to my other hand now. My mouth was agape once again. He was nineteen?
“He was nineteen?!” I exclaimed, a bit louder than I meant to. She chuckled.
“Yeah, Joseph had to grow up pretty fast. Too fast in my opinion, but I’m just a nurse. He’s quite passionate about the camp, though. Takes it super seriously. As we speak, I'm pretty sure he's firing the counselor who was in charge of making rounds last night.”
My neck almost snapped, I whipped around so fast.
“He’s what?”
“Oh, yeah. He was infuriated that you were locked in the shower room all night. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him so angry before. Once he carried you here, he went out that door in a real huff, face as red as a beat.” She clicked her tongue in disapprovement before turning away to pour my tea. I, on the other hand, was shitting myself. I was already on a metaphoric island of solitude in this place and I still had a week and a half of being here. The last thing I needed was the counselors to be praying for my downfall along with the kids. With the connection these people have to the hypothetical God, if they combined their power, I’m pretty sure Jesus himself would come down from heaven to blow me up personally.
Without a second thought, I bursted out of the door like a bat out of hell, ignoring the resistance of my ankle. I was barefooted and I ended up having to prance around in order to not impale my feet on a stray pinecone. It occurred to me then, I had no idea where they would be. That's when I heard faint yelling in the distance. I quickly jogged over to the sound, arriving at the cafeteria. Oh yeah, that was Joseph for sure, but much more stern and loud then I've ever heard him be before, at least from the limited time I’ve spent with him. I opened the door gingerly, a little scared of being yelled at too. Peeking my head in, I found the entirety of the staff standing in a crowd, all shuffling awkwardly. Joseph stood in front of them, hands clasped behind his back, his face beat red, just as the nurse had said. He looked exhausted, his brown hair not perfectly kept like usual, but falling down over his face, occasionally falling into his eyes as well.
“I have never been so disappointed in my life. Not only have you all shown a lack of respect to me, but also to our campers, the children that we have been entrusted with, and in turn, God. There could have been a very real and very serious death last night! We were lucky that Janitor Percy found her before she was past the point of saving. Thank you, Percy, you may leave and continue your duties.” He pointed to a very humble looking man breaching the point of old age. Percy nodded and wandered off. Joseph continued his rampage.
“Now, I want honesty here. Who was in charge of making the rounds last night?”
The whole room was deadly quiet. Nobody wanted to fess up, for good reason. Joseph looked like he was ready to kill a man, blue eyes burning down onto the group. The silence lasted way too long and Joseph opened his mouth to continue, but before he got a word out, a weak little hand raised slowly. Everyone practically jumped to get away from her, as if she were harboring some sort of deadly disease. She looked ready to cry, her whole body shaking. I recognized her as the small woman I had met the first day of camp. Joseph's eyes bore into her.
“Well? What's your excuse for your poor performance yesterday?”
“I didn’t know anyone was taking a shower, so I didn't think I needed to look. I’m so sorry, if I had known I never would have skipped the shower rooms. I swear I take my duties seriously, I love the kids and my job!” She was stuttering through her whole ramble.
“Well, you obviously don’t love it so much if you are cutting corners with such disgusting ignorance.”
“Nobody should have been in the showers that day! I swear I didn’t know!” I could tell she felt her job slipping away with each passing second, tears welling in her eyes. She looked so much smaller than before.
“So you’re blaming the camper now?” Joseph's eyes widened with a fury I couldn’t explain if I tried.
“No, that’s not what I meant, Mr. Williams, I-!”
“It was my fault!” I felt the words slip out before I could stop myself. The whole room grew heavy and all heads slowly turned to me, most in pure horror, some stared at each other with their mouths wide open. I didn't blame any of them, I really wanted to do the same to myself right now. Even Joseph looked utterly baffled, eyes now wide with shock, the anger seemingly draining away, but still simmering at the top of his pot.
“I took a shower yesterday even though it wasn’t the designated day and I didn’t let my group leader know beforehand. So it’s my fault, not hers, she had no way of knowing!” I ended with a little bit of gusto, as I was quite proud of myself for standing up for this girl, despite facing such a tense crowd. However, despite my heroic speech, nobody changed their looks of horror.  I shuffled in place awkwardly. That's when I felt a draft between my legs and I suddenly realized something so drastic and so horrific that I felt my blood run dead cold on the spot.
Slowly, I looked down in horror, only to realize what I had already deducted. I, in all my glory, was standing in front of 30 something people, including Joseph Williams, the perverted, ultra-religious, super attractive, camp owner, who also doubled as my nemesis, without any pants.