< 9/3/22 3:03 am >
dear diary,
i don't know how i feel anymore, neither do i remember myself. not the "me" that i put around for others. not the entertaining, funny, outgoing kid for my family or the sad, lonely, quiet kid for my classmates. not even the kind, loving and loyal friend for my irls. definetly not that. i wasn't anyone before and i don't know who i am now. life moves so fast that everybody's moved on and i'm stuck at things that happened half an year an even 6 years ago. i can't seem to let go of anything or anyone. i've started going to school the least i can, given up on academics and when i do go there i just avoid everyone and do nothing. i'm the first to arrive at my classroom, i pull out the curtains and sit a the last seat of the most unnoticed row. sometimes i cry in the middle of classes but my crying face is my normal face — just that it's frozen with water dripping down. besides i'm not someone anybody would waste their time noticing or counseling so no one really cares. sometimes when my friends see me though, i just say that it's nothing and let them forget it. i can't get myself to do anything. i've even been struggling to read when it's probably the thing that i love the most. i don't wanna take a shower, i don't wanna move. i'm tired. i'm aware what a messed up thing this is to say but i wish i went into a coma (not for too long, just an year or something) i have regular crippling headaches and i don't feel anything except numbness if you consider it a feeling too. i gotta get better.
until later,
your friend
YOU ARE READING
open scarlet letters
Non-Fiction"we're so young but we're on the road to ruin, we play dumb but we exactly what we're doing we show off, our different scarlet letters" (new romantics, taylor swift) the chronicles of a not very stable person recorded through diary entries. a new a...
