Ryder

four

I was a fool.

A stupid fucking fool.

Tipping the bottle up until I could've felt the wine slushing inside, I took another giant gulp. "What," I said, wiping my mouth with the back of my free hand, "a fucking fool."

There wasn't a reply, which, obviously there couldn't be. I was alone here. Or as alone as I could be with all those occasional thuds and whispers coming from behind my boyfriend's--maybe ex-boyfriend now--closed bedroom door.

I didn't quite remember how much time had passed with me being here in Soren's apartment and him being there in his bedroom with a girl who clearly wasn't me, doing the unthinkable behind closed doors.

Fuck, I thought and softly banged the back of my head against the kitchen cabinet behind me.

I didn't understand why I was still here. Why I hadn't ran away, to be more exact. I couldn't even remember where or how I'd found this expensive-looking bottle of red wine. How had I managed to open it when wine bottles were always such a bitch to open?

Taking another swig and grimacing, I gazed down at the dark liquid swishing inside. I was becoming a miserable drunkard and chugging down an entire bottle of wine like a fucking pro.

How had my life come down to this in just a handful of seconds?

It could've been just seconds or minutes and not even a whole hour since I'd let myself in here, but every time I heard even the slightest of noises from Soren's bedroom, I took another sip of the wine in my hand and slumped further back at the foot of the kitchen island I was leaning against, sitting on the cold floor.

It was truly a pathetic situation I was in.

"And now I don't have anywhere to...anyone to take with me at the dinner on Saturday." I reminded myself in a hushed whisper as if afraid that my mother might somehow hear me. That in turn made me laugh because no, Mom wasn't here. She was towns and towns away.

But she'll still find out about this, a quiet, reasonable voice whispered in the darkest part of my head.

Find out about what? Me, chugging down a bottle of wine, or me getting dumped yet once again? The latter was as bad as the former.

Sighing heavily, I rested the back of my head behind me and tried to blink away the confusion clouding right in front of me.

Voices suddenly came from somewhere around me, much closer to me, and it made me jolt a little in surprise--utter bewilderment--as I peeked over at Soren's bedroom door. It was still closed though, so the voices couldn't have been from there.

"...want anything to drink?" A voice came from the other side of the counter I was hidden behind, from the tiny lounge where the couch was, followed by a soft, airy laugh. "I've got beers, though it won't be any good as what I served you back at the bar, handsome."

Handsome. I stifled a sound that begged to escape my lips, which could've been a groan or a laugh, when I recognized that voice a little bit. It sounded much...much like Brenda. Soren's roommate. She must've come back from her nightly shifts and I hadn't even realized.

And she wasn't alone obviously, because right then I heard another voice, a much deeper voice answering her. But since it was starting to get a little dizzy a bit too fast, I couldn't quite hear his words clearly. Brenda did though since she laughed that flirtatious laugh again--the one that she'd once told me worked wonders on boys.

I think Brenda and the mystery boy could've been kissing at this point. Fuck if I knew.

"I hate you," I whispered quietly to myself, thumping the back of my head on the counter behind me and closing my eyes shut when it spun. How was it that everyone around me always seemed to have it together when it came to relationships? Was it so hard for the universe to just...give me a break and offer me a hug maybe?