The Shadows Below

Chapter Ten

Kasia.

2011

Another grade change, another meeting with the school. After school finishes for the day., I'm still in my school uniform, hands in my lap. Dad on my right, Grandma on my left. It's in the principal office, with the principal, head of the year, and the careers counsellor in attendance. Mahogany furniture dominates the room, panelling on the walls and then dark red trimmings. 

We're sitting in comfortable chairs. They're talking about me going to college. I've already been accepted by some of the good ones, including MIT, Brown and Vassar. Grandma is there, all smiles. Dad isn't, he was right about the bullying by high school-aged people in my classes and he sees it happening again. Only worse and by adults. The head of the year made her case first, then the principal. Mostly a run-through of my grades and my strong aptitude for certain subjects.

'I can make friends. That's the point about these colleges, there are more smart people.' People who will see me for being clever and not a nerd or a freak.

'It's too soon,' I hear the tone of finality in his voice. He's not going to say yes to this. He was already frustrated before, there having to be a meeting at the school, he had had others scheduled at work and now they'll have to be done later.

'Mr Barton - Richard,' the principal now takes centre stage. 'I'm sure there is a compromise we can reach. Your daughter has proven herself, not only academically and as a credit to the school but also as a mature young lady with many fine qualities.'

'Fine talk, if you ignore the treatment of her by some of the students here. Are they also mature young people?'

'A regrettable incident, but I can ensure you that it was dealt with appropriately and all those involved were punished.'

'Clearly, not enough, I saw a couple as I arrived.'

'I understand they were not directly involved.'

'They were bystanders. Stood by and did nothing.'

I take a deep breath and try to relax my fingers. It wasn't a nice experience. What was really scary was how I could have reacted. I had felt so angry. As though I could have really hurt someone.

'Richard,' grandma puts a hand on his arm. 'I was upset about that just as much as you and I am sure the teachers here were disappointed by those students. But that isn't what this meeting is about. Now, as I understand from the information that was so kindly provided Kasia could study long distance at one of these fine institutions and complete the work at the school, or at home. Isn't that right, Principal Mortimer?'

'Yes, quite right, Ms Dziki.' He smiles, but it's a thin veneer over his reaction when she mentioned the bullying before. The day it had happened, she had arrived at the school first, before Dad and her reaction had put his to shame.

'Richard, would that compromise be agreeable to you?'

I'm tempted to look at him then, but I resist the temptation. He takes a deep breath and then says the magic word. 'Fine.'

'There we are,' Grandma looks very pleased - the expression of the cat eating the canary comes to mind but she soon tempers her expression when my dad glances at her. 'Thank you all very much for your time.' She stands and shakes everyone's hand with a smile.

Dad thanks them too and I follow their lead, but it's hard to keep a straight face.

Or to skip out of the office.

Outside the building, Dad has a car waiting. He gives me a hug and nods at my grandmother, he still isn't pleased, which is confusing.

After he leaves, I pull my jacket closer. There's a chill in the air.

'Come on, let's go out to dinner to celebrate. You've been accepted, the hard work will start but first, let's go have pizza.' I follow her to her car in the parking lot, an indulgence she called it.

'I thought Dad would be pleased.'

'He is, he just worries about you.'

'But I'm not going there, I'll be here. It was a good compromise.' I get in the front seat as she gets in the driver's seat. She puts on her belt and then turns on the heater. I put my hands out to feel the warm air. And then put my belt on.

'Sometimes what is real and what we feel are very different and compete in different ways. And sometimes what we feel wins out. What happened at the school was a very scary thing and we were all frightened for you.'

'I thought you were not scared of anything.'

She checks her mirrors and turns the key but before putting the car in drive she says, 'I was worried I might have to separate fighting kids. But you're much smarter than I am.'

'Were you going to do something?' There's something she's not telling me.

'Of course not. As I said, you're much smarter than me.'