I get the the funeral home even earlier than I usually do.
I use my set of keys to unlock the front gate and pull my car around the back of the main building where we keep the room of caskets for sale and the main office with two chapel rooms on either side.
I let myself into the building and head into the office, flipping on the lights as I go. I'd brought Gabby with me here once and she didn't even last five minutes before she decided she'd just wait in the car.
Something about the stillness and knowing what inevitably happens here freaked her out, but it's never been a bother to me.
She asked me once if I felt like there were still ghosts or souls lurking in the hallways, but I'd told her if they were, they were always nice ones.
The only time I'd ever been afraid here was the first day Aunt Bec and I came. I'd been terrified to come inside, but as soon as Shelia welcomed us in and started talking, I got comfortable.
She explained everything.
I'm the type of person who needs facts. I want to know exactly what happens and why so that I can react and understand accordingly. Shelia didn't balk or shy away from all of my endless questions and hypotheticals. She didn't find my questions about my parent's bodies and what they would be doing to them unnerving, and I'd appreciated that.
I was only nineteen and very much sheltered by my parents at the time. I understood it. They'd lost one daughter, they wanted to be extra careful with me. I'd never had to do much of anything without them or their help and this was my first time truly making decisions on my own.
Shelia made this place feel safe, not scary.
I go to my desk at the front and retrieve another set of keys to unlock the front doors and then I go back to my seat to wait.
I log into the computer and pull up this week's current schedule. We have the Westwood service and funeral later today and then the viewing for the Lancaster's tomorrow morning.
As far as schedules go, this week is currently looking slow. However, being in this business, you can't ever truly plan your weeks. People die every day, and their families have limited amounts of time to plan their final goodbyes.
It's pretty damn hard to make concrete plans working in the funeral business. Death is rarely something people plan in advance.
I put on my headset and listen to the five new voicemails on our phone. Like I'd just been thinking, I now need to call back three families to schedule consultations. Three families who have lost their loved ones and now need someone to help them with the next steps.
For the next two hours that's exactly what I do. I push away my own life issues and give each person I speak with my full attention.
My sister and her baby are alive, that's more than I can say for the people who are having to take calls from me now.
I know for sure we will now be adding two more funerals this week to the books, and possibly a third.
The third's father is still on life support. His daughter cried the entire phone call.
"It just feels so wrong." She'd said. "He's not even dead and I'm having to do this." She'd broken down, her pain so raw.
His doctor's believe he will be passing in the next couple of days if not sooner. She'd explained how she was just trying to get everything in order before it happens. Something I completely understand.
She needs to know the next steps are in place, and then she can focus on being with her father in what's left of his life.
For her sake, I hope she gets plenty more hours. For his, I hope it goes by quickly.
