My hands are still shaking from the phone call when I hang up and instantly find myself calling Ben.
"Hayden?" He answers, sounding confused.
"Yeah." I say, staring straight at my bedroom wall in front of me.
"What's wrong?" I hear commotion in the background, like Ben is moving around, then it's quiet on his end.
What's wrong? Such a loaded question as my mind is racing. It's spinning around images of my sister. I see her scared and strung out. I see her as I last saw her, barely even human laying in a hospital bed too weak to move without pain.
"It's Alice." I say, my voice catching on her name.
"Hayden," Ben's voice is urgent now. My mind also pulls forward his look of concern to the forefront. I see his brows pulled together and those big brown eyes and the way he looks down at me so intensely. "What happened?" He's slow and gentle with the question, like he's afraid to know the answer. Like he thinks he already knows what I've called to tell him.
I guess he's part of the club now.
The club of people who spend their lives sitting around just waiting for the call from the coroner's office to come in.
Waiting to be told she's not here anymore.
That she used up all of her chances to fret her life back.
That Alice is truly gone this time.
"It's not that." I say, not wanting to prolong his concern. He shouldn't have to worry about anything. He's got enough to handle.
I start to regret even calling him.
I'm not entirely sure why I did.
"I'm sorry." I say, feeling stupid now. This isn't his problem. The only thing I should be calling Ben about Alice for is for me to tell him the mother of his child is dead. "I shouldn't have bothered you."
"You're not bothering me." He says quickly, before I've even gotten it all out of my own mouth. "You're upset." He says. "Talk to me."
"She got arrested." I spit out.
"The station called you?"
"Yes." I nod though he can't see me. "They said they picked her up late last night. She was too messed up to call me herself. The man said they're holding her there and that...that someone needs to come get her."
"Do you want me to-."
"No." I cut him off. "No, you've got Elizabeth. I can't let you do that."
Even more so, I don't want him to.
The pang of jealousy I feel towards my own twin shocks and disgusts me.
They've already been as intimate as you can get with another person. They made an entire human together. Me being threatened by him going to pick her up shouldn't even matter but I hate myself to admit it was the first thought in my mind.
That I don't want Alice around him.
Partially for his and Elizabeth's well being, but the other part....
"Are you coming back?" Ben asks me, a slight hilt in the tone of his voice. "You can stay here. I don't mind."
"Ben." I sigh.
"Or if you want me to go, I swear I can." He says. "I've got someone who has been helping babysit a little when I need her to since Mom left."
"You've been leaning her with a babysitter?" I don't know why this surprises me. Of course he needs help. He's working full time and he's a single dad. The thought of Ben and Elizabeth just not being together had never even crossed my mind.
