Too lazy to get a girlfriend ENG

3. Substitute isn't original

Undoubtedly, what I was so afraid of became reality. I was up to my ears in it again. And again it was someone from far away, unreachable... I wanted to cry. I have to fight it somehow. Stop watching videos and pictures with him every day, start focusing more on school and maybe on your other hobbies.As I made up my mind, I did, but none of it lasted long. In every activity, my thoughts were with the young man with long blond hair, every step I took towards oblivion came back to me tenfold in the form of lack of concentration, irritability and even sometimes dreams in which he crept into me and which of course I had no control over , that's why I slowly stopped fighting my "demon". But then something occurred to me.Why not go to a dating site and find another discovery of mine interest? Exorcise the devil with the devil. Maybe I'll even find someone who looks roughly like the singer... enough! Enough about him, we're talking about him again, it's time to give someone unknown a chance.So I actually created a profile, where I uploaded my not-so-good photo (on purpose, so that the person in question would not be disappointed during the meeting and rather, on the contrary, pleasantly surprised:D) and I sent my data to the Internet world. The answers did not take long. Rather, it was a response within a few seconds that I myself could not believe the speed of the responses."Hello Lenka, I'm Pavel, I'm 32 years old, I live alone and I'd like to get to know you...", "Hello, my name is David and I noticed that you're looking for someone for a relationship...", "You're beautiful, please write to me, Ondřej...", and so on and so on. I only skimmed through the answers and concentrated mainly on the photos of the candidates for my heart. I had to agree that the selection was really big, from boys of the same age to older secure men with their own backgrounds. Dark-eyed, tall, rusty, with or without glasses, fat, thin... but none were like Joel. After all, it's clear that I won't find an identical twin of my dream idol, what did I expect? The men weren't bad, some were actually quite acceptable and even seemed nice... I closed my laptop and fell exhausted on the pillow. When will this nightmare end??? The solution seemed clear...------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------"Hello, I'm Lukáš, I'm glad to meet you," he introduced himself to me as soon as he got out of the car with a smile from ear to ear, and I warmly returned the introduction and greeting. "Hello, I'm Lenka.. I'm glad." It didn't even occur to me to have any concerns about getting into his car, in short, we immediately agreed that we would drive a little further to the dam, where I don't know it yet and where its beautiful. "So, have you been wanting to go out this winter?" inquired a dark-haired boy a few years older than me. His car was pleasantly warm, but my hands were still cold and sweaty. "Sure, that's not an obstacle for me. I get dressed and we'll warm up by walking," I smile uncertainly at him and he takes his eyes off the passing road at me with a reciprocated smile on his face.He wasn't my type, but out of all the reports, he seemed like the most cool guy. His presence was not disturbing, I felt at ease next to him. But somehow I couldn't stop singing songs from Blind Channel in my head, for which I felt bad after a while that my thoughts were running away somewhere again. I started to focus on Lukáš and our conversation was conducted in the usual way, we discussed family, school, hobbies and then we were on the spot. Lukáš offered me his hand and I agreed, timidly placing my small hand in his palm. We continued our conversation as we walked along the body of water. We passed couples, families with children and seniors with their pets, time passed and I started to get cold.Along the way, we stopped at a pub that beckoned visitors from water to good food and drink, which I welcomed at the time, something warm would be nice. We floated inside where the fireplace was burning and the other patrons were having a hearty conversation about a sports match that was playing on a large plasma TV mounted on the wall. We ordered hot tea, took off our coats and sat across from each other. I wanted to bring up a topic, but it suddenly dawned on me that I had no idea what else I could talk to him about. The dark haired youth across from me wasn't exactly talkative, so I was more the one asking questions and leading the conversation. I wasn't used to that. I'm more of a loner, an introvert, a girl who wants to be led by her partner. I definitely wouldn't like a man by my side that I should be driving. I always imagined a dominant, strong man, this Lukáš seemed like a good person, but this was something I couldn't swallow. What would Joel be like? Oh no, I'm thinking about him again!"...what do you say to that?", I heard a voice somewhere in the distance. I realize that my dating partner is talking to me and that he was asking something. I felt embarrassed. "What did you say? I'm sorry.. I was kind of thinking...". "Alright Leni, I was just wondering if you wanted something to eat too." I replied that I wasn't hungry and slowly wrapped my hand around my empty stomach, which responded as if on command. It wasn't that I didn't want to eat in front of Lukáš, or the environment or nervousness. I simply didn't want to unnecessarily prolong something that I don't think will last long.It was getting dark, the sun was setting soon, and we sat quietly next to each other in the car. Luky walked me home, which was nice of him, but this silence and his fleeting touches made me nervous. I was about to make an excuse that I had to go home, when suddenly the young man leaned towards me and I instinctively repeated the movement in his direction until our lips met. It was strange. I didn't even know what I should feel, but it was clear to me that this emptiness, this literal nothing, was not good.