Too lazy to get a girlfriend ENG

4. Miracle

When I came home, I just greeted my parents and went straight to the bathroom. For a while I just stood in front of the mirror and looked at myself, miserable girl for who is not enough good boy. Who, after all, won't deal with someone "ordinary", who must have a celebrity, or someone higher up... Am I really that shallow? Or is everyone like that? No they don't. Her friend Denisa keeps telling her to come back down to earth and stop carrying her head in the clouds. She herself has a boyfriend whom she didn't fall in love with at first sight, but she gave him a chance and now claims to love him. That such love must be cultivated. But I think it's different than what I feel. She doesn't write poems about him, Denisa always just states what they did, when, that it was nice and that her boyfriend is simply amazing. It's a dry statement, she doesn't smell anything, her eyes don't sparkle like mine do when I talk enthusiastically about someone, she doesn't blush and stammer, she doesn't look as if she's under cocain...I put my face in my hands and take a deep breath. Tears are flowing down my face and I can't stop them. Actually, I don't even want to. After all, it's worth crying about, so why not let it out? I am desperate and forever doomed to live without true love. I will have someone who will be "just good", he will possibly provide for me financially, we will have a house and children, I will actually be quite satisfied. It's just never going to be the right one. When we're sitting next to each other, my heart won't race like a spooked horse just by his presence, I won't get chills down my spine every time we will run a hand over my arm, and I won't even get butterflies in my stomach while we will kiss. And that hurt.------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------I had a pretty long shower, but most of the time I just let the water run over my body and had bad thoughts again. Whenever I start to think hopelessly and see no way out, a warning exclamation point goes off in my head. According to the psychologist, this is a harbinger of a serious condition in which I should not stay alone for a long time and should seek help. She knew where such a situation was leading me. Nevertheless, after dinner, I just said good night to my parents, explained the details about the school and went to my room. How should I tell them this? Mom, Dad, I'm a hopeless case who always falls in love with someone she can't have... what should I do? I knew what they would tell me and that they wouldn't take it too seriously.I opened my laptop and checked social media. I rode the wheel down and stared blankly at the screen at the perfect lives of others, I just clenched my jaw a little more and suppressed the bitterness in my mouth when I saw photos of couples in love. Moment!! I went back up a few posts. It was a photo of Blind Channel, of all members and the sign above them read: "Sick and Dangerous Tour". What? Well, they will be touring again, congratulations to everyone lucky enough to see them live. Only me again nothing, because in this hole..."Oh my Gosh...", I blurted out aloud and my heart stopped for a moment. My breath deepened, my vision blurred. I started hyperventilating, trying to catch my breath and not start screaming because everyone in the house was already asleep. Shocked, I covered my mouth with my hand and cried. The picture showed all the cities where the band will be suppose to perform, and among the last was "Prague". I wanted to scream, start running around the room, do somersaults, I wanted everything. "It's not possible, it's not possible!!" I just walked around the room for a while and occasionally jumped up in the air, but I still probably didn't fully understand it. They will be in Prague, I can see them live! I can see HIM face to face...With sweaty and shaky hands, I looked for tickets and found them quite quickly, I immediately bought a ticket and then fell headfirst onto the pillow, into which I screamed at the top of my lungs. That night I fell asleep at eight o'clock in the morning and thank God it was the weekend. When my parents wondered what I was doing in my room for half the day and that I only went to a late lunch, I wasn't able to give them a stupid answer. The only thing they could notice was my goofy grin that spread across my face for the rest of the day.