Too lazy to get a girlfriend ENG

8. I see you

Wakeeee up! It's finally D-Day and I'm going to see all the Blind Channel members live today. I will see Joel, I will hear his beautiful voice singing one note after another, pouring his heart into his words, which either he or another member of the band put together into sentences to express what he has been through in life. Those lyrics that I listened to for months on headphones and dreamed of my life with one of them, I will now hear and even see all of that. I have to prepare for the trip, it will be long, and also find my hotel in Prague, which I booked in advance. I had packed my things in my suitcase, everything was ready, all I had to do was have breakfast, change my clothes and go. Towards new experiences!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As I stood in the basement of the club waiting for security to check the validity of my tickets, I was shaking all over. I was dressed, yet I was breaking out in a cold sweat. So many people, such a crowd! How do I get to the stage? Oh yeah, I should have moved and not spent so much time getting ready in front of the mirror. I wish I could turn back time, but it doesn't matter now, I won't rush it. Plus, I forgot the stupid chocolate somewhere along the way, oh yeah. Everywhere there were screaming girls who had the company of their friends, I was the only one here. I didn't feel well at all, my stomach was tight and I felt nauseous. The air was filled with the smell of smoke that is normally used when performing artists. I must have been oversensitive because my eyes watered. A lot of people didn't make me feel well, I could never fit in with the crowds and now there were really so many of them, all the girls were pressing on me and I had nowhere to stand. It was my turn, the controller let me in and I walked through the corridor to a smaller hall. I had to cover my eyes with my hand as the spotlights made it impossible for me to see. The seats at the podium were filled, now there was nowhere else to stand but up to the third row. At least that way.The first to perform in front of us were the other artists not from Blind Channel, their friends from Lost Society. Their music wasn't bad, but it didn't speak to me either. I tried to move to the rhythm of their tones, but it seemed more like a tremor. I couldn't stay still, my eyes darted all over the scene looking for Joel. Just the idea that he is, somewhere back there, alive. The group's singer and the other members of Lost Society bowed to the audience and went backstage to thunderous applause. Then there was another break. It was endless. Every minute was like suffering, I felt as if I was waiting for my own execution, even though I should have been happy, I was afraid and my heart was beating so powerfully that everyone must have heard it.Suddenly it came. I saw Alexi, Tommi, Olli and Joonas rushing to the stage in a hurry. Oh my God! That's them! They were wearing the same clothes I had seen them wear so many times before, but always only from pictures. Alexi was greeting everyone, Tommi was waving and Joonas was smiling from ear to ear. I almost stared at them, when suddenly out of the corner of my eye I saw Joel and Niko entering the stage from backstage. Joel. Joel! My hand flew to my mouth and I started to cry as if on command. I was panting like a fish out of water, all the air in the room was suddenly not enough for me! I was shaking and sobbing, I couldn't fix my gaze anywhere but on the blond boy. He walked so confidently as if it was a red carpet and he was the star. He moved so gracefully, so easily, he floated past the other members and immediately clung to the microphone in his hand as if it were growing out of it.The song We are no saints started and my shiver was there. I jumped, sang at the top of my lungs, as if I wasn't standing on a square meter, but as if I owned the whole hall. Despite all the movements and encouragement, I didn't stop watching his every move. As he bowed, knelt and jumped, everything felt so real, so authentic, as if he was born to perform. Nothing was played and pretended like many artists do. Many of artists just appear, but they are not really there. They are doing their job, but they are tired after so many concerts, I understood that. I also wouldn't enjoy doing the same thing over and over again. But I absolutely did not recognize that Blind Channel had played somewhere before. So much energy, which came directly down on us from them, it was tremendous. Joel didn't fixate on anyone, he kept his gaze fixed on one spot, as if he was looking somewhere far away. He looked at someone here and there for a second, but then immediately moved on to another fan. Nothing could be read from his mysterious expression. On the other hand, Niko actually looked at the female fans, maintaining eye contact with several of them and returning the smiles. As if I had summoned it, he suddenly looked into my eyes. I automatically smiled brightly at him and showed him a little heart. He snuggled sweetly and continued the show. Gentlemen! Niko smiled at me! I couldn't believe it was really happening. I wish these moments would never end! Wait, I have to record this. I clumsily pulled out my phone and, even though I didn't feel like it, I started filming. Understand, I don't like having to stare at a screen while my idols are standing right in front of me live.More and more songs followed, between which the singers had short breaks to drink. Despite that, it went by very quickly. There was only one song left and I hadn't caught his eye yet. As soon as I realized this, however, Joel actually looked directly at me. It was about two seconds, but it was the longest in my life. My heart definitely skipped a beat. He must have seen the huge enthusiasm in my eyes, he must have felt how much I wanted him. Despite that, he didn't even stop for a moment longer, he didn't smile. Not that he would do that to other female fans, but I kind of hoped that it would be different for me. Of course. You stupid, everyone wants it to be different, but when there are so many young girls here, we certainly blend in."...empire of the freaks all drinks on meeeee!" That's how the last words of their most famous song Dark Side sounded, thanks to which I found this great group and to whom I owe so much. Everyone came to the edge of the stage and began to bow. No, for God's sake, he's leaving now. Is it really over? I can't believe it's over. After all, we started a while ago. But the group was already gone, they went backstage and disappeared from our sight. People started leaving slowly, only I was still standing. It's almost as if I was hoping that what I dreamed about at the time would happen again. But I knew it was just a dream and that no one would come back. I headed towards the entrance, it was dark everywhere and the spotlights were no longer shining. And then I noticed it. The same door I dreamed about. And they were ajar. Crowds kept flowing around me, even pushing and shoving me right at the door. I quickly looked around and there were only young girls everywhere. I didn't hesitate and took the handle.