Too lazy to get a girlfriend ENG

10. Please, take me home

I stood there dismayed for a few moments before I realized that the club was almost empty. I slowly followed the voices of the girls who were the last to leave the hall. I quickly joined them so it wouldn't look weird and slipped out past security. Finally a breath of fresh air to clear my head. I slipped out, had to hold on to the wall so I wouldn't fall. I understood that I had nothing to do there, but he react so violently? But what was worse was the fact that now he think that Niko and I had something together, at least we wanted to have something. Shit! Damn, damn! This shouldn't have happened, it's over. With this, I closed my way to him forever. But why did Niko say that Joel could never be mine? None? I want to know the answers to why I think it is so difficult to approach him and get to know him a little more. I clenched my jaw tightly. I'm sure he was just saying that to divert my attention from Joel to him, he wanted to have me all to himself..."Excuse me... Miss, are you alright?" It sounded right next to me and I flinched in shock. To my surprise, next to me was a middle-aged man with tanned skin who looked caring and welcoming. I wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone right now, and for God sake I had to explain what had just happened to me. "Nothing happened, please leave me..." I threw a pleading expression that was meant to make it clear to the man that my mood was anything but shared. "Please, I can see that you are completely stressed, look at you. Your face is burning and you would have almost fallen if it wasn't for that wall." I couldnt get rid of him. So again. "No, you don't understand me? I'm not asking for any help because nothing the hell happened!" I started to get a little irritated. So many emotions were mixed in me, first anger, I was so angry - at Niko, at Joel, at myself. I clenched my fists and without planning it, I shook violently under the storm of sobs that took over me. I just cried like a child who didn't get what she wanted. What did I just do...I hide my face in my hands, I was ashamed of him and myself. But he carefully took me by the shoulders and reassured me that everything would be fine. He knows nothing... "Come on, girl, come on. We're going to put you in a pile."------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------We were sitting in some bar in Prague and I didn't care. The man introduced himself to me, he was nice, he asked questions, but I didn't answer him. I sat beside him dejectedly, thinking how to get out of this. And by that I meant the whole awkward situation with Joel and Niko, not this invitation. Even though this actually too..The fighter kept ordering me more and more cocktails and me like stupid cow, at the bottom of them, search solace. It was almost midnight when I last looked at my watch and then, after that, I couldn't make out the time it was showing. I was totally drunk. I talked, but I was still aware that I wanted to go back to the hotel. But my company wanted to continue, he teased me to give more and more, I had no idea how much I had in me. I never drink, I'm almost abstinent, I only drink because other people drink. It looked like that too. I was barely able to speak, I began to lie down lightly on the table where we drank ourselves into silence. I pulled out my phone and I don't know why it seemed important to me at that moment, but I did it anyway. I turned on the recording of the story on Instagram. It took me quite a while to find Joel and tag him. I had everything up to my neck, I didn't want to sit here and talk to some stranger, it was too late to feel anything like fear, I was too drunk for that, but still there was some instinct of self-preservation in me. I didn't know it here at all, I had no idea where my hotel was or how to get to it. I wanted to leave. I pressed record."Joel... Joel... please... please... help me...," I was talking big pauses between words, mumbling more than talking and half lying on the table. I was really sick. "Joel..." I repeated the singer's name over and over. It was almost impossible to form a meaningful sentence, I could barely hold the phone. "Please...help me...where am I...I want to go home...-" "Hey stop what are you doing!" I was interrupted by the voice of a "nice" man, who started panting on my phone. "Leave me..., stop, please...help-", was the last thing I managed to say and then he took the phone away from me. I didn't know what to do, I couldn't argue with him, and my voice sounded too thin to be able to help myself from the surroundings, where hordes of men who were also drunk were having a lot of fun. The guy grabbed me and quickly led me out of the club. Where is my cell phone and what the hell is ihe doing? No, I do not want to...He led me on and suddenly we were somewhere in a park. He threw me on the bench, his hungry touches clawing at me, looking for everything they wanted and I was completely defenseless. I didn't have the strength to do anything, I was so drunk. The lamps in the park illuminated our scene, but it was so late that the park was apparently completely deserted. Tears streamed down my cheeks like echoless waterfalls, I couldn't utter a word. And then I heard it. That voice. I know him. It is very pleasant...I heard some bangs and screams, I saw a third person who got in between us, he was tall and he was a man. I wanted to do something, but suddenly I felt very sick and threw up everything behind the bench. Someone was holding my hair. He was talking to me... And then nothing.