The game restarts and you're surprised and a little disappointed when your time keeping friend is nowhere to be found. You step out of the office only to realize that you didn't recognize the office. It's changed it's layout many times before, that's true but you've never seen this one before. As you walk up some stairs a vent cover falls away.
"Psst! (Y/N)! Come over here… In the vent… I want to show you something." The Narrator whispers. You sigh and crawl down into the vent. "Okay. You remember how cheap and unsatisfying the new Ultra Deluxe content turned out to be?"
"Yeah." You say.
"Well it got me thinking about the past and how much better The Stanley Parable used to be. So I made something special and tucked it away here where the game’s developers won’t find it. Just our little secret. Take a look!"
You're shocked at the new sitting as bright sunlight streams over you. You step out and bask in it, feeling what you should probably have felt in the freedom ending. The sun feels warm, there's a light breeze, and pleasant sounds. Than The Narrator interrupts your thoughts.
"I call it… the Memory Zone." The Narrator says. You open your eyes, almost expecting him to be next to you from the sound of his voice, he's not obviously. "It’s where I’ve been storing all my favorite memories so I can relive the peak experiences of my life whenever I want. Like the launch of The Stanley Parable on PC."
You sit down on the ground, "Just give me a second here." You say. It's quiet for awhile until you finally get up and head into the next building.
You look around as The Narrator talks, "doesn’t the Memory Zone remind you of how wonderful The Stanley Parable was before it was sullied with a cheap re-release? Remember back in October of 2013 when the game originally launched?"
"Is that how long I've been here?" You ask, stopping suddenly.
The Narrator pauses, "I don't know. But I do know that Back then, video games had integrity. Back then it all meant something! Oh, the waste."
You stop and think for a minute, if you have been here since 2013 and according to the voice early now it's 2022 than you've been here for "9 years?" You say.
"(Y/N). I don't know how long you've been here. I don't any more about any of this than you do. I'm not even sure how long I've been here." The Narrator says.
"9 years." You say.
"We both know now that I don't remember everything. Time gets lost (Y/N). I wish I knew everything but I don't. Let's continue with the game please. Over here is where I keep reviews of The Stanley Parable. Like this stunning triumph of games journalism: 10 out of 10 from Destructoid .com. James Stephanie Sterling writes, and I quote: 'Where so many games that aspire to be more than games end up less than any form of art… Stanley Parable strives and then succeeds to be every game ever created.' Did you hear that? Every game ever created! That’s how grand and all encompassing the original Stanley Parable was! It was literally every game ever created! It was Skyrim, it was Persona 3, it was all of them! And now it’s nothing! It’s no games at all. It isn’t even The Stanley Parable any more. It’s just a husk now. A lifeless husk, with an hour of new elevator content."
"It hasn't been an hour. Well... Maybe it has if you include the elevator content from earlier." You say. You walk onwards.
"Here’s another moving passage, this time from Gamespot .com. 'The Stanley Parable is both a richly stimulating commentary on the nature of choice in games and one that offers some of the most enjoyable, surprising, and rewarding choices I’ve ever confronted with in a game.' 9 out of 10. Don’t you get it, (Y/N)? The game was perfect!"
"9 out of 10." You repeat.
The Narrator ignored you, "It didn’t need anything else, it didn’t need new content! It just needed to be left alone to spend the rest of time collecting dust in the hallowed hall of beloved video game memories. And they couldn’t even do that! Couldn’t resist the urge to go meddling with a beloved franchise." The Narrator sighs, "These were simpler times. What I wouldn’t give to go back, to have it all over again."
"Any new content is better than the same old stuff I've been doing for the last 9 years." You say. When you realize you can't go forward you turn back instead, making you way down to the maintenance room.
"Wait, hang on… I don’t recall this part of the Memory Zone before. What’s this? What’s down here? Oh no. Oh god, no! (Y/N), it’s a collection of reviews from Steam, the online video game distributor! I haven’t looked at these in years. I can’t even imagine what’s been collecting down here. Surely these reviews were glowing as well, weren’t they?"
"I have a bad feeling about this." You say as you step out into what almost looks like a place for demolition.
“'Honestly, I could not be bothered to play this game to full completion. The narrator is obnoxious and unfunny with his humor and dialogue proving to be more irritating than entertaining.'" The Narrator reads, "UNFUNNY?! I’m not trying to be funny! I’m trying to make a serious work of art! I suppose I could write up a handful of gags to insert into The Stanley Parable but the game is already such a densely layered web of profound philosophical insights that I can’t even imagine where I’d have the room to stick them."
"You're not unfunny." You say, moving on from the bad review.
"Okay, let’s see what this one says. 'While the idea for the game is good…'" The Narrator skims through some of the lines, "'For someone who prefers non-linear games, this preachiness gets annoying fast.' Preachy?! (Y/N), I’m not Preachy, am I?"
"Well..." You mutter, shrugging.
"You can tell me if I’m preachy. Honestly, you can."
"Sometimes but I prefer it to silence." You say.
"Oh goodness, this is actually quite shocking for me. I - I always - well, to be honest! I had always thought of the games’s dialogue as being rather terse to begin with. You can’t know how much fluff I cut from the game to get it to feel as light and airy as it… well, I always thought it did. But maybe it wasn’t. Oh dear. What an awful memory to have to hold on to. These black marks on my otherwise unimpeachable track record. I feel… like a failure. Like I let these people down. Perhaps The Stanley Parable isn’t quite as sterling as I always remembered."
"Who cares about a couple of bad reviews? Your game's great! These aren't memories to hold on to Narrator. They're a bunch of people being mean online, because they have nothing better to do with-" You talk and keep walking until The Narrator cuts you off when he sees another review.
"What’s this one got to say? 'You constantly have to stop doing anything so the narrator can catch up with his long-winded explanations of what’s happening. I wish there was a skip button.' A skip button? Well - well, yes. Yes, I think we can do that. If I’m truly too preachy, then - …then maybe letting you skip ahead for just a moment - surely it couldn’t hurt. Not if it means we can strike these negative reviews from the record. Only positive reviews of The Stanley Parable."
"You're being unrealistic." You say, "Nothing has only positive reviews, it's not possible."
"That’s my motto today, and it’s always been my motto." The Narrator says over you, "I’d do anything for the customer, Stanley! Yes, a skip button we shall have!"
(1335 Words)
YOU ARE READING
No Escape from Ultra Deluxe
Fanfiction(Y/N) thought they escaped, only to wake up at the computer of Employee 427 yet again. They make their way through the game but they begin to notice that things aren't the same this time around. It started small, a new ending, not too far out of the...
