No Escape from Ultra Deluxe

The Broom Closets Betrayal

You open your eyes and you're back in the hall. You choose some balloons, hear The Narrator talk about an epilogue, and explore the rest of the exhibits. You peak into a dark room and slowly make your way inside.

"Ah, collectibles! Now it's a real video game!"

"Is that so?" You ask.

"Yes, you see in The Stanley Parable 2, you'll run around gathering up these miniature Stanley Figurines and what's truly innovative is that there will be no reward for collecting all of them."

"Oh so just like everything else I do?"

"Hush. I don't want to stifle the intrinsic joy of watching a number go up. You simply collect all of them, and then you move the hell on with our unremarkable life."

"I move on with our life?"

"You control the moving (Y/N), anyway it really is the worst when you collect everything in a video game and then they give you a big fancy reward for it. Absolutely tragic!"

"I like fancy rewards."

"This isn't about you! It's about the fans (Y/N)! The fans who were let down by Ultra Deluxe!"

"Ok."

After that you head for the exit, feeling pretty satisfied with everything you saw.

"Are you done now? Saw everything you wanted?"

"Do I get to keep the bucket?"

The Narrator laughed, uncomfortably, "For now yes."

After cycling through different things and trying to figure everything out The Narrator seemed to get frustrated. When inspiration struck and you realized you'd be going right back to the office.

"I can take the original Stanley Parable, simply, well insert a few of my new features into it. Tastefully, of course. With respect. With care for the vision and integrity of the original game. Would it possibly work? Hmm, I suppose it could. But it would need a really, really tremendous title screen. A title screen that says with bold and uncompromising conviction 'This is The Stanley Parable 2!' let me see if I can whip something up." The Narrator says. "Alright, perfect! Go ahead... take a look!"

You wake up back in the office.

"I'm getting sick of restarts." You say.

"Oh! Come on now things are about to get interesting." The Narrator says.

"Fine, fine." And you get up and walk out of the office. You look around at the new balloons hanging up on the office. "You know, it's not what I asked for but honestly it's not so bad."

"Balloons are always fun!"

You laugh. "Yeah."

You move forward in the office and freeze when you see it. Sitting on the pedestal is The Bucket. Deep in your heart you feel like it smiles at you when it sees you. You walk over and pick it up.

"(Y/N) lifted the bucket into their arms, and a wave of comfort rushed over them." The Narrator said, and for once you couldn't agree more.

"(Y/N) clutched the bucket tightly to their chest, and entered the door on their left." You do and The Narrator sputters for a second. "Oh yay, you're listening to me." You don't answer. "Still no one was here. (Y/N) needed the bucket's warmth and comfort now more than ever. Perhaps their boss' office was where they'd find answers."

You look down at the bucket, "Perhaps." You walk out of the meeting room and stop when you see the broom closet.

"Please no-" The Narrator says.

You walk into the broom closet. ",The broom closet ending." You whisper to The Bucket.

"Oh, (Y/N)... can you feel it?"

"What?" You ask.

"The broom closet... it wants the bucket!"

"What?!"

"You can feel that, can't you? The aura of jealousy? It's as clear as day, this broom closet believes it deserves the bucket! I can really feel it now. 'It's a bucket, it belongs in a broom closet!' That's what the broom closet is trying to say here. 'It's supposed to go with the other cleaning supplies.'"

"You can't have my bucket Broom Closet!"

"Good for you (Y/N), don't give in! Don't hand over the bucket! I know how hard it must be given the pressure that the broom closet is putting on your shoulders right now."

"It's not hard. I'm not giving up my bucket." You say.

"Oh umm... yes because you're strong. This is your bucket. This is your companion and lifelong friend. You can't hand it over. Oh no.We're getting into name-calling now it seems. Is this how low The Broom Closet has sunk?"

"What?! Broom Closet I thought I could trust you!" You say, a feeling of betrayal creeping into your chest as you hold The Bucket close.

"It has to resort to this stream of petty insults simply in order to get you to hand over the bucket? (Y/N), I've never liked this broom closet for a variety of reasons, but this is even worse than I had imagined. And wait! Now the broom closet has the gall to imply that you and the bucket are not truly deep and lasting friends?"

You gasp in horror, "You nasty closet!"

"That your relationship is purely superficial and convenient? That your life is so banal and meaningless that you'd feel the same sort of kinship towards any inanimate object which happened to lay in your path, in an even partially-enticing manner? Well I never!"

"No! Bucket is special!"

"Go on, (Y/N)! Lay into it! Really tell the broom closet off its demeaning comments! Expand on the wide variety of experiences you and the bucket have shared together! Go through each of them point by point! Share your journal entries detailing the rich emotional landscape of your feelings for the bucket as they have changed and evolved over the years! Let' em have it!"

"Listen here you nasty broom closet! You may have been here first but that gives you no right to put down my bucket! Bucket and I belong together! We need each other! I need it's warmth! You wouldn't understand the power of an object like this and the fact that you dare insinuate otherwise-"

"Okay!" The Narrator interrupts. "I've got you something which I think will help settle this debate once and for all. Here we go." And a sticker appears on your bucket. "There, now it's settled! No more debate, no more discussion. Take a hike, broom closet! With all your meandering philosophical diatribes about the nature of cleaning supplies and their relationship to broom closets in the natural order of things. Alright, I've got a second sticker back here and I'm going to slap it on as well, because I think it's appropriate." And a second sticker appears under the first one. "You see, I feel that works because the sticker is also a bucket! That way, if you're ever unsure whether the thing you're holding is a bucket or not, you can look down at this sticker and say to yourself 'Ahh! It's a bucket!' There really is a wide variety of applications for this sticker."You smile and there's pause. "You know what, I could take the name-calling and the dismissal of your kinship with the bucket, but now the broom closet is just giving us the silent treatment, and to be honest, I'm sick of the pettiness on display. You can stay here all you like, but I've had it with this impetulant room of cleaning supplies. Easily the most childish such room I've ever been in! I'll see you outside, and we can get on with the story about you and your bucket!"

You glare at the door for a second before storming out, looking back at the broom closet one more time. "Traitor."

"Coming to a staircase, (Y/N) and the bucket walked upstairs to the bosses office." The Narrator says.

You go upstairs.

(1306 Words)