19 - I'll Protect You

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Rosé POV

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Rosé POV

I arrived at the hospital in a haze. When I clicked the car keys to lock the car, my brows furrowed in confusion. I didn't even remember how I came here, obviously with the car, but I couldn't remember what happened on the road. A shiver rushed through me when I think about what could have happened in that state. It's probably for the best if I take a taxi or ride with Jisoo to the hospital next time. Jennie is just the first and only thing I think about every waking moment, even when I'm asleep she's there every night in my dreams. It's almost impossible to really focus on other things right now. I think about how her lips feel on mine, the sound of her laugh, the color of her eyes, the way her hair curled when she just got out of the shower, her funny angry rants, the list is endless.

The electric doors of the main entrance opened up and I could blindly walk towards Jennie's room. Luckily her parents aren't here now because honestly, I can't take it to see her mom or dad cry for another minute. It almost feels like they are giving up on Jennie and it makes me angry. I don't want to be angry at them, especially because I can somewhat understand why they feel so hopeless. I've been avoiding them for the most part though, afraid to take my anger out on them. All these dark feelings are scary to me. I've never felt so angry and sad at the same time and the combination was slowly but surely turning me into a bitter angry person. I know I'm not really fun to be around now, but Jisoo and the rest already told me they understand it and know how I feel. I always have to clench my jaw at those words, because no one would know or even understand a little about how I feel. Even Jennie's parents wouldn't know, it's their daughter so they have a different kind of pain. I know I'm acting really selfish, especially towards her parents. I love them, and I love my friends who are here almost every day too, but there's not enough love inside of me now to show that to anyone. The scariest part to me was that I even didn't care that much anymore. It feels like I'm losing parts of myself with every minute that Jennie isn't awake.

I shook my head to try and clear it from these thoughts and walked towards the end of the hallway. Room 45a, Jennie's room.

The door was closed when I finally got there so I knocked a couple of times to make sure I didn't interrupt an examination or something. Jisoo opened up the door for me with a small comforting smile and immediately shook her head back and forth. I think she's pretty used to it by now that my first question when I see her is if Jennie moved or woke up.

I gave Jisoo a hug and mumbled a thank you before dropping my purse next to the door and walking over to Jennie. I leaned down slightly and trailed the back of my hand slowly over her cheek. Her skin feels warm and soft, but somehow cold underneath my touch. Tears were already trying to pierce their way through my eyelids, but I squeezed them shut so they wouldn't fall out. I leaned down further and pressed my lips softly on her forehead.

''I'm back honey.'' I mumbled against her skin before pulling away to study her closed eyelids. Sometimes I think that if I stare long enough that they will open up. In those Disney movies the princes always wake up after a kiss, now I don't like Disney movies anymore because it's a lie.

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