Hope Is Where The Heart Is: My Battle Against End Stage Renal Disease

Chp 4: A New Lifestyle

January 13, 2010, was the day I wasn't ready for. I researched on what to expect adjusting my lifestyle to dialysis. I was thinking about this throughout the week, and wondered how much this would affect me. My phone would ring off the hook with messages from family, and friends sending me prayers supporting me. I went to the hospital to check in and sign paperwork.

In the prep room, I put on my gown with these funny looking socks with the grip on the bottom, and laid down in the gurney before entering the operating room. I felt comfortable being well taken care of waiting for the surgery. As I waited in the prep room, I looked around at other patients who were awaiting their surgeries. I realized I was the youngest of the group.

All I ever hear when nurses come talk to me is, "You're so young to have to go through this," or "You're so brave dealing with this situation". I don't know what it is, but when faced with adversity I rely on myself to get through it. I'm not going to disappoint myself never did before so why would I start now? I was transferred to the operation room for surgery. The last thing I remembered before going under anesthesia was me being naked on a table surrounded by surgeons telling me to count backwards from 100. I woke up three hours later, feeling groggy as I looked around not knowing where I was. Several nurses would come check on me telling me I would be transferred to the resting area where my mom was at. I was sore just as expected, and haven't noticed my catheter inserted on the left side of my stomach.

I transferred to the resting area as I arrived I saw my mom, and noticed another familiar face, Sandra. I felt like this was a sign because Sandra and I haven't seen each other for a while. This was the first time Sandra met my mom as she seen her in the waiting room. I didn't expect to see her there I was happy she showed that she had love for me, and wasn't going anywhere.

The surgeon arrived to tell me how to take care of the catheter. He explained that I should avoid lifting heavy objects, and not to shower until instructed to. I took OxyContin to numb the soreness and aching that I was feeling. I was told to urinate into a container for evaluation later in the week. I didn't notice any difference until I started to get up from my bed. I could barely walk to the wheelchair to make it out to the parking lot before going home.

The doctor requested that I stay home from work for a week to rest as much as possible. My diet would consist of comfort food that wasn't too hard on my stomach since my whole body was sensitive. I would be better off eating low sodium foods with a strong source of protein. The dose I was given for OxyContin would be to take two pills every four to five hours up to six pills a day. I didn't realize how strong these medications was once I took one I was in the clouds. I was flying so high I never wanted to come down. I felt out of my body, and thought I saw a unicorn drinking water out of a fountain.

The first couple days were a struggle, but luckily I had my family to take care of me. I could barely move as there was a lot of pressure on my stomach. I would have to pee in a container so I wouldn't have to walk to the bathroom. I got through most of the week slowly, but surely getting back to normal eventually returning to work the following week. I haven't start the first dialysis treatment yet so there wasn't any fluid in my belly.

My dialysis nurse told me that I would be going to a dialysis training clinic to learn how to take care of myself. I looked at the catheter as a temporary kidney that drained all the excess fluids, and waste that I couldn't extract from urinating. I would look at the left side of my stomach from time to time being bandaged up, and protecting my catheter from getting exposed to bacteria. I had a long way to go before I adjusted to having a catheter sticking out a couple inches out my belly.