Mistaken Identity (a fanfic starring Elrond from 'the rings of power')

courtship

Eventually he comes out of the bath and this time I do look at him, not at all of him, I stay with his face. I can't keep on looking away, a 'normal', male, assistant would have been completely at ease with him AND his nakedness, so I have to pretend. And than when he isn't looking I take a look at his whole body, I just can't help it. What I see makes me feel so flustered and guilty, that I have to cough. Luckily that way he will think my red face comes from the coughing. He doesn't seem to realise that I am struggling. As this is going to be one of my routines, I had better get used to the intimate stuff.

Shortly after he bids me Good-night. I have to say, I'm totally exhausted after this day, mostly emotionally. How am I going to do this? I don't want any other position ever again but will I make it? Wouldn't he notice? How can one possibly be so completely smitten with another Elf after just one day!

Before going to sleep I read the handbook. It's giving me a focus and giudliness.

Over the coming days, I improve more and more and although the attraction grows day by day, I manage to control my behaviour at least in front of him. Meaning, I do everything as if I'm not interested beyond a normal friendship. This already is unusual for personal assistants but my lord encourages a friendship like connection. I do quite often have little breakdowns when I retreat to my own room.

Every so often there are situations that are a bit more intense. Like the one time, we were walking through the halls of the palace. I tripped over a carpet and fell. It was extremely embarrassing. Lord Elrond offered me his hand and pulled me up. I came to stand really close to him, our faces where only a few centimetres apart. The tension between grew tangible and for a moment we stood like this, gazing into each others eyes. It was the first time were I seriously wondered if he had feelings for me too. I had felt it on occasions before but I am scared to hope and anyways if he does, he thinks that I am a male and if he likes me as a male, wouldn't he be disappointed when he finds out I'm a female. Because all of this is to intense I try to ignore all of it.

Another time he was at bow and arrow practice and I had to deliver a message to him from the high king. When he saw me, he made an effort to shoot right into the middle and not only once, by the time I actually reached him, he had shot three arrows into the middle. Maybe I imagined it but it seemed as if he did that to impress me. I delivered the message and as I wanted to go, he asked me.

"How is your archery, Finjor," he looked casual but still I had the impression that he wanted to point out how good he was.

" Certainly not as good as you my Lord," I gave him the satisfaction.

"Do you want to have a go?" He asked me further. I couldn't deny him but I can't do so well when others watch and most certainly not Lord Elrond.

I got ready to shoot when he suddenly came closer. Gently he lowered my arm a little and than his face was really close to mine. He was looking out towards the target.

"Just a little bit higher." He said seemingly unperturbed that he was so close. I did as he told me to and I did shoot into the middle. He smiled at me broadly.

Maybe sometimes my wishful thinking, imagines things into certain situations but some moments are obvious. He likes me too!

When I'm not with Lord Elrond, than I have to do other chores. We personal assistants also have to practice sword fighting and other fighting skills. There are also other lessons, in etiquette or general knowledge for example.

In my free time, I try and visit my friends at the male-quarters and I've made friends with the high king's personal assistant, Dimitra. He too is rather small built and a quiet character but not shy or timit. He is actually at peace with himself and I admire that. He is intelligent and our conversations are often very stimulating. So we meet up at times to talk.
Sometimes the high king and Lord Elrond go for a walk in the forest or in one of the gardens, they're good friends so it seems. Dimitra and I are often along, walking a little behind our masters, than they converse and we do too.

We are out and about on such a walk once again. The weather is glorious and everything is covered in a warm afternoon light.
I use the opportunity to ask Dimitra, whether he thinks it's normal for Masters and their personal assistants to be friends. He is quiet for a while, than he says:

"I don't think it's normal. A lot of the personal assistants I've met, almost loath their masters, Katador for example. Myself, I like the high king," he carries on, looking fondly over to his master. "He and I are very close."

I nod, I've picked up on that before.

I look at my Lord: "I like mine too!"I say with conviction. "He is very kind and treats me as a friend."

"Yes," Dimitra states, " you two seem very close."

It worries me a bit, is it that obvious? I wonder, can one pick up the romantic vibe too? I don't hope so, my poor Lord, elves would be talking. I should be more distant, at least in public. Thankfully behind doors, we can be completely ourselves. We'll, not completely. I can only be my complete 'fake' self, the elf I have become since I live at court.

"Do you think it's a bad thing? Will my Lord be in trouble for that?" I ask Dimitra.

"I think it's adorable.." He grins at me. I cuff him and than we both have to laugh.

Our masters turn around to us and smile. We smile back at them. There is so much harmony right now. What a lovely afternoon. Eventually the high king and Dimitra go of to their lodgings and we go to ours. Lord Elrond likes to be alone for a while now, as usually at around this time but before we part he asks:

"You get on well with Dimitra?"

"Yes my Lord, I like his wit and he is very easy to be with."

I'm not so sure if he likes my answer, I get a strange vibe from him.

"I'll see you later than" he says a little abruptly and leaves. I'm puzzled a bit now. Than I have a strange thought, he wouldn't be jealous about Dimitra, would he?

I decide not to go to the male-quarters now, instead I actually take a wash, i want to smell nice when I to read to him tonight. I take my bandages of that cover my breasts during the day. It's always a huge relieve because they hurt after so many hours. I look at myself in the mirror. My hair has started to grow back and I look very much like a woman again. I had decided back than, that cutting my hair short, would make me look more male like but now that everybody knows me as Finjor and doesn't suspect anything, I can have my hair long again. After all, most male elves wear their hair long. Lord Elrond doesn't, why I'm not sure, maybe this is in acknowledgement of him being partly human.

I'm looking forward to reading to my Lord again tonight but first there is his bath-time.