Mistaken Identity (a fanfic starring Elrond from 'the rings of power')

bonding

As usual I make his bath. He's told me he likes a mixture of pine and sandalwood best, so here we go. This activity too has become a routine, it is still rather intimidating to be confrontedwith his nakednessevery evening, but we usually talk and that way it's less akward. I still like to take a peep at his body when he isn't looking. I think he is so very beautiful.

As usual he comes in, I take his clothes and he gets into the water. I clear away the used clothing and than I come to stand by him. Sometimes he needs something like soap or a brush. Mostly I stay with him so we can talk. He is in a strange mood today though. Lately he has these mood swings more often. He looks troubled.

Suddenly he looks at me: "Would you mind washing my hair for me?" Normally he does that himself.

"No my Lord, I'm happy to wash your hair for you." He looks at me and there are almost tears in his eyes.

I get the shampoo and than I wash his hair. I take my time and I wash with all the love I feel for him, even massaging his head as I do. He is leaning back slightly, closing his eyes. A tear runs down his cheek.

I take a big chance."My Lord, what is making you so sad? I wish to carry your pain for you, seeing you so saddend breaks my heart."

He turns around and looks into my eyes. His expression is very serious."It's complicated," he eventually says sitting back down, "I can't speak about it, not just yet anyways."

I rinse his hair, than I retreat to my usual spot.

He looks at me, studying my face. It is a very intense stare.

Than he says: "Finjor, do you like boys."
I'm so completely overwhelmed by his question that I don't immediately answer.

"Answer me!" My Lords voice is urgent and demanding. Than he quickly adds:"Please."

"I like men." I almost whisper. He stares at me.

"Do you like Dimitra?" He asks further.

"No!"

I fear that there might come more.

"I will get myself ready myself now," he says, "you may have the rest of the evening off."

I'm shocked. Is he repulsed by me now? What if he doesn't want me as his personal assistant anymore, now that he knows I like men?

"I'm sorry my Lord, I fear I might have made you feel uncomfortable now. Are you angry with me, do I repulse you?" I am actually crying. I love him so much!

He comes over and wipes a tear of my cheek. He is smiling. "No, Finjor, not at all, I just need time to think. And Finjor, please call me Elrond!"

I suppose that is a good sign! I actually just want to tell him that I'm a girl, but that could seriously mean that I loose my job. I think for now, I leave it as it is.

I write to Finjor. I write down all the little bits and details and most of all, about my love for Elrond. Afterwards I burn it because I still don't trust that my letters won't be read. I have send Finjor other letters where I made hinds and comments. He quite possibly figured a few of them out. I know him well and he knows me. I wish he was here now and I could talk with someone I trust and who knows my secret.

I'm almost asleep, when there is a strong knock on the door.

"Please enter," I have my duvet pulled up high because I don't have my bandages on. It is Elrond.

He is in his sleeping garments. His face is very serious.

"Finjor, there is to be a war. I will have to leave tomorrow morning. You are free to choose if you want to come along or stay here, your training isn't complete yet, so you are more than welcome to stay. "

"No," I say with certainty, " My Lord, Elrond, I'll go where you go!"

He looks at me for a a while and than he smiles happily.

"We'll leave just after sunrise. You will need your armour, your sword and two changes. I wouldn't advise you take more than that. Are you sure Finjor? War is a terrible thing."

"Absolutely!" I am, I want to be by his side!

His smile broadens. "Good night, Finjor

"Good night.... Elrond." Speaking out his name is unusual but really nice.

He is positively beaming now, his eyes sparkling. He stays for another moment, our eyes interlocked, than he leaves.

I get up and pack. My armour, my most comfortable and practical outfits and I also pack soap, my toothbrush, a vile with painkiller, a gift from our 'witch' friend. An extra cloth which I can possibly also rip into pieces to close wounds.

I sleep relatively good, although I'm a little anxious. I haven't got the faintest idea what war is like. Of course I heard stories but to be in one, to fight in it? I hate hurting others, killing? I don't think I could consciously kill anybody. One thing is for sure, I will protect Elrond with my life!

I'm up before sunrise. I have a long warm wash, with sweet smelling shampoo anx soap... it might be a while before I can properly wash again. I'm done way before the time. I go and look out of the window and pray. I don't do that often enough. I pray for guidance and wisdom.

Than I go to help Elrond get ready. He is already up and has washed himself as well. He's wearing his undergarments already but I have to help him with his armour. After he's done I actually ask him if he could close some of the buckles on my armour.

"Of course." After closing the last of my buckles he comes to stand really close to me. I look up at him. I could swear he wants to kiss me but than he steps back.

"I'm glad you're coming with me, it comforts me greatly but on the other hand I wish you would stay here, where you're safe. I would hate it if something happens to you!"

"I couldn't stay here though," I say, "I wouldn't find a moment of peace. I need to know how you are, know that your safe and if not, maybe I can protect you!"

He grins. "We'll see who protects who! Alright than, of we go..." I'll close his door and know suddenly that we will return changed, that is, if we return.

My horse has its own armour, all of the horses have. Mine wears the same colours as Elrond's, I like that because I belong with him!

We ride past the marching soldiers and to my delight but also dismay, I see my friends. It bothers me, that they have to walk while I get to ride. I hope they won't feel resentful. I wave at them but they don't see me.
Do they stand a chance? I hate this war already, well every war! But the orc army needs to be stopped, they're destroying and killing everything in their way. We need to come to their aid.

We ride a day and through half of the night. We have to get used to being awake at night because the orcs only fight in the dark because the sun burns them to death. When we finally stop, we make no fires. We mustn't be seen. It is a little cool lying on the ground, even though I am wrapped up in my cloak. Suddenly Elrond who went to ly down next to me shuffles closer, until he lies right next to me. His body feels warm and comforting, I snuggle up to him. Now I can sleep.