𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔 ,, colby madden

eight

in honor of scarlett estevez's 15th birthday, here is a chapter. and if you don't remember scarlet is elaine's faceclaim

"aging 30 years in a day has me so confused. i don't know whether to play little league or coach it." colby said as old him sat on the couch.

elaine gasped as vic and eva walked in: "there you are. where have you been?" she said crossing her arms.

"well, gara's retirement bash got canceled, so we had to improvise and steal a cake from some kid's birthday party." eva said.

"won't be a happy birthday for you, johnny." vic said walking past colby. "who's this?" he then asked.

"it's me, colby." colby said. "what?" vic spoke. "oh, no." eva said dragging out the end.

"i kind of spilled on your console and then everything sparked and then he turned 20 and then i started pressing more buttons and then he turned into that." hartley rambled. "if you're killing someone, i am not the one." elaine said smiling.

"mom, can you please make me a sandwich? And don't forget to cut off the crust." colby said. elaine rolled his eyes, him and this crust.

"it is colby. my son is older than me. fix this.l eva said, scared. "i'm on it. i'll be in the lair." vic said going into the the kitchen.

he walked out backward soon after, "hello, "
celia. robert, you really don't have a problem with your lady just waltzing into tenant's homes?" vic said.

"hey. i may be the chief of police but she's the chief of everything else." robert said. elaine cringed, this, this was disturbing.

"taught him that on our first date." "what are you doing here, grandma?" elaine said with a fake smile.

"i came to tell you that robert and i are going dancing. salsa dancing. things are gonna get hot tonight." elaine plugged her eyes at the end shutting her eyes. "okay. now you two have fun, and then bye." hartley said.

"uh, uh, uh, who's this? you don't have someone else living here, do you?" celia said and elaine unplugged her ears when hartley slapped her.

"no, he's actually..." vic started. "the plumber. he's a plumber. that's his job. that's what he does for a living." hartley said.

"i know you're new at lying but that was more lie than we needed." eva whispered to her. "i didn't call a plumber. celia said.

"it was an emergency. a leaky faucet emergency elaine added. "why didn't you call me?" "because i knew you were getting ready for your date with robert." elaine said.

"oh, okay. did i mention we're going salsa dancing?" celia said. "yes!" everyone said.

"hold on a minute. if you're a plumber, let me see your plumber's license." robert said walking to colby.

"you can't." colby said standing up. "why not?" robert said. "because i left it back at the shop. colby spoke.

"mmm-hmm. there's a ring of scam artists around town pretending to be plumbers to swindle money out of people and he could be one of them." robert said.  "no one scams me or my granddaughter." celia says walking to colby.

"no, i swear i'm legit." "i think we should stick around to make sure. we might have to delay salsa dancing." celia said.

"that's okay. the only thing more romantic than salsa dancing is shaking down scammers." she said stepping closer. "can i interest anyone in a young child's birthday cake?" vic said .

-

"okay. okay. okay." elaine said. "okay what"celia said. "grandma, why don't you and robert give our plumber friend a little breathing room?" elaine said.

"there. now you can breathe." celia and robert moved back like a fourth of a step.

"come on, celia. he's a stand-up guy. i think you can trust him." vic said. "why would i trust him? i don't trust you." celia said.

"you trust me, don't you, cels?" eva said. "i trust you to stay out of my business."

"i'm seeing too much looking and not enough fixing." robert said to colby. "why don't you just start plumbing?" robert said again.

"hurry up down there. this salsa queen wants to dance. you know, some people say i'm the shakira of valley view, because these hips don't lie."

"well they lied." elaine muttered. "what was that?" celia said leaning to elaine. "nothing!" elaine spoke smiling.

"please hurry up down there." celia said. "i think i got it!" colby said.

the pipe shot up and water splattered everywhere. hartley quickly got a bowl to cover it.

"ha! i knew it. he's no plumber, he's a fraud. come out from under there so i can book you for swindling these nice people." robert said.

robeet and celia gasped when colby came from under the sink. "who's that?" robert said. "it's me, the plumber." colby spoke.

"well, how long were you down there for? you know the plumber we met earlier? well, this is his father." hartley said. "father?" colby said, oblivious.

elaine pulled up her camera and showed colby himself, he was fully old. "oh. yup. i'm his father."

"that can't be. i know i saw the other plumber go under there and he never came back out."robert said.

"well, to be fair, you have had a lovely distraction around you for the whole time." celia said. elaine fake gagged, this is gross.

"what distraction?" robert said. "this distraction." celia said, demandingly. "oh, right. yes, i did. i guess that's why i didn't see them switch." robert spoke.

"you know, i'm sure the plumber's father does not take kindly to people calling his son a scammer, isn't that right, sir?" vic said. "start talking like an old man." eva muttered walking past colby.

"you bet your fanny that's right. i built my plumbing business with my bare hands back in the 1800s." colby said. "1900s." elaine corrected quietly.

"1900s. i will not stand for anyone calling my son or my business a sham." colby said.

"all due respect, sir, we was just trying to make sure..." robert said. "gobbledygook. the only crime my son ever committed was working too hard."

"i'm hungry. when do i get pudding?" colby whispered to his mom. "suck it up colby." elaine said pinching his arm. "my apologies, sir. i certainly do respect my elders and i appreciate the history you built here in valley view." robert said.

"well, good. and you." colby said to celia. "slow your roll, pops. you don't wanna try that with me." celia said, and then robert and celia left. "finally. now i can get down to the lair and work on getting our son back." vic said.

"and it looks like I'm off to buy some pudding." eva said"the smooth stuff. anything crunchy sits in me like a rock." colby responded. "uh, hello? are you forgetting something?" hartley said lifting up the bowl.

"oh, right. well, if i got to fix the old man, you guys gotta fix that." vic said going down to the lair. "oh gosh." elaine groaned grabbed a wrench and her phone.

"please youtube, do me well." she said looking up at hartley then back down at the pipe.