Everything the Light Touches

Chapter Fourteen

Whatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuck. You let him kiss you. You let. James Buchanan Barnes. Kiss you. I thought we were mad at him!? What's going on!? You let him. Kiss you. After he told the whole world you were engaged! After he told you that you would get to choose when and how the announcement took place. That was a public claiming!!! Are you even listening to your internal monologue right now!?!? Hellooooooooo!?!?!?

No. No you were not listening to your internal monologue. You were too busy focusing on two pillow soft lips moving against yours instead of your brain firing all sorts of warning signs to stop. That is until Bucky ended the kiss with a light peck and began to lean back, both your chests heaving as if coming up for air after a deep dive into the ocean. Yeah the ocean that is Bucky Barnes' eyes, holy fuck they've gotten bluer. A small shake of your head brought you back to reality. In fact it brought you back to reality at lightning speed. You broke apart as quickly as you could without looking suspicious but continued to stare at Bucky just a little longer. He looked just as confused as you if not a little...needy? No that can't be right.

Another beat of silence and Bucky cleared his throat and wrapped his arm around your waist, tugging you into his tight hold his thumb rubbing light circles on your hip, causing you to hold back a full body shiver. People were starting to come up and congratulate the two of you left and right. Your brain was running a mile a minute and cycling through every emotion possible until Natasha came up and spoke.

"Alright alright, let's give the lovebirds some space. I'm sure you'll be able to talk to them some other time. Let them enjoy their night, move along folks. Move along," as she ushered people away from the two of you Bucky moved his hand to gingerly take yours and started walking the two of you towards the VIP section. Two more steps and you would have made it if it wasn't for the six foot plus golden retriever of a brick wall blocking your path with his arms folded over his chest.

Steve had a look on his face, one that you couldn't quite read but it was one that brought Bucky to a screeching halt. An almost imperceptible shake of his head had bucky guiding you towards the back entrance of The Underworld instead of the VIP section as he muttered something under his breath that sounded eerily like "crazy fucking person" as he pulled out his phone to send a text.

Within seconds of walking out the back door of The Underworld, Peter was there with the car to take the two of you back to the apartment. When the door shut to the car Bucky dropped your hand, the illusion that you two were a happy and oh-so-in-love couple finally dropping. The two of you rode home in silence with only the light music of Peter's choosing playing in the background. You could practically hear Bucky's teeth grinding and you chanced a look up at him once or twice, noticing his focus was solely on the streets of Manhattan slipping by and nowhere else.

So you sat. And you stewed. You stewed in the annoyance and irritation of Bucky going off-script and telling everyone at the club that the two of you were engaged. You stewed in the confusion of your body's reaction to the kiss. It had been over ten years since Bucky had kissed you last and while you knew you were going to have to kiss him at least once or twice during your marriage you didn't expect it to come that early. And. You stewed in the sadness of a life that had passed. A life of love and joy that seemed so far fetched in your current reality that you had to brush your hand over your eye to remove an escaped tear. But you sat in the silence. And walked through the threshold of your home with Bucky without saying a word, Alpine being the only one to say anything as she greeted the two of you with a chirping meow.

Bucky shut the door behind the two of you and stood there in uneasy silence. You were certain he was getting ready to dismiss you and head off to his room, when he surprised you. Bucky reached out slowly to take your hand and guided you to the living room to sit on the couch. You thought he was going to take the seat next to you, but he surprised you again. Bucky Barnes knelt to the ground in front of where you sat ever so slowly making sure to look you in the eyes the whole time. Your breathing hitched as you watched him to sink to your eye level but that was nothing compared to what he did next. Bucky cleared his throat, and spoke softly but firmly as he looked you in the eyes.